WHOTRAVELE0^500100Q^^I-ES  FOR$7fii 


Here  and  There 


WITH 


AMERICA’S  MOST  FAMOUS  TRAMP 


WRITTEN  BY  HIMSELF 


FIRST  EDITION 


PRICE,  25  CENTS 


Copyright,  1921 

BY 

THE  A-NO.  1  PUBEISHING  COMPANY 

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THE 


(tbadb  mark) 


PUBI-ISHIINO  COym=*A,rNY 

ERIE,  PENNSYLVANIA 
U.  S.  A. 


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CHAPTER  I. 

The  Lucky  Landlord  of  Enterprise. 


Magnificent  orange  groves  and  orchards  of 
other  varieties  of  the  delicious  fruits  of  the 
tropical  citrus  family  thickly  dotted  the  land¬ 
scape  spreading  southward  beyond  the  gates  of  Jack¬ 
sonville — at  the  time  antedating  that  national  calam¬ 
ity  which  even  to  this  late  date  is  still  being  referred 
to  with  bated  breath  by  the  inhabitants  of  Florida  as 
the  “Great  Freeze/’  Low  temperatures,  previously 
never  experienced,  overnight  destroyed  agricultural 
values  conservatively  estimated  as  surpassing  the  fifty 
million  dollar  mark.  As  a  logical  sequence  of  such 
sudden  and  fearful  destruction,  a  virtually  complete 
pauperization  not  only  descended  upon  the  citizens  of 
Florida  but  struck  people  who  winterly  sojourned  in 
the  state  and  there  had  become  financially  interested 
in  investments  in  citrus  property. 

Among  the  transient  citizens — that  is,  those  who 
annually  returned  to  their  northern  homes  at  the  con¬ 
clusion  of  the  inclement  season — was  a  considerable 
representation  who  hailed  from  countries  oversea. 
Again,  among  these  foreigners  a  number  were  not¬ 
ables,  while  others  were  members  of  the  Old-World 
aristocracy  who  in  their  homeland  were  rated  as  of  the 
ultra-select  set  of  society.  Oddly  enough,  these  dis¬ 
tinguished  strangers  seemed  to  prefer  braving  the 
hazards  and  hardships  entailed  by  a  late  fall  or,  still 
rougher,  a  midwinter  traverse  of  the  storm-riven  At¬ 
lantic  to  the  negotiating  in  comparative  comfort  the 
voyage  to  near-Monaco,  the  charming  resorts  of  the 
French  and  Italian  Rivieras,  Rome  and  Turin,  Palermo 


^  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

of  Sicily,  Brindisi  at  the  foot  of  continental  Italy,  the 
enchanting*  isles  of  the  Aegean  Sea,  Cairo  of  Egypt, 
the  vale  of  the  Nile  and  the  other  more  or  less  conve¬ 
nient  tropical  destinations  catering  to  the  entertain¬ 
ment  of  travelers  endeavoring  to  escape  from  the  harsh 
winter  weather  common  to  Central  and  Northern 
Europe. 

The  exceedingly  profitable  pursuit  of  the  citrus  in¬ 
dustry  furnished  the  powerful  magnet  which,  almost 
irresistibly,  drew  Florida-ward  the  cream  of  the  winter 
tourist  travel  of  the  universe  at  large.  For  so  very 
generous  proved  the  .  annual  revenue  to  be  obtained  by 
the  marketing  of  the  fruit  production  of  any  orchard 
of  average  acreage  having  attained  no  less  than  the 
sixth  year  of  growth  under  constant  attention  and  care¬ 
ful  cultivation,  that  the  returns  usually  more  than  suf¬ 
ficed  to  reimburse  the  owner  for  the  not  inconsiderable 
household  expenditures  incurred  by  himself  and  his 
immediate  family  circle  for  the  duration  of  their  tran¬ 
sient  stay  within  the  state.  Of  properties  planted  not 
over  ten  years  it  was  deemed  a  most  commonplace  per¬ 
formance  when,  additionally,  the  income  derived  com¬ 
pensated  the  resorters  for  the  roundtrip  transporta¬ 
tion  in  Pullmans  from  Florida  to  their  summertime 
residence.  Occasionally,  an^  this  more  especially  in 
the  instance  of  the  older,  and  the  more  extensive  of 
the  estates,  after  fully  meeting  the  heavy  outlays 
enumerated,  there  generally  remained  a  cash  balance 
which  paid  a  right  royal  dividend  on  the  monetary  in¬ 
vestment  involved. 

f  herefore,  no  sooner  had  the  new'comer  in  the  state 
aiTived  at  a  definite  decision  in  the  selection  of  the 
locality  suiting  his  personal  preference  in  the  matter 
of  desirability  of  residence,  than  he  set  himself  the 
task  of  gaining  possession  of  an  orange  grove  or  ^ 
orchard  either  specializing  on  limes,  lemons,  grape  S 


NclJ 


Here  and  There  With  ’A-No.  i  5 

fruit,  mandarins,  tangerines  or  all  these  or  still  others 
of  the  fruits  belonging  to  the  citrus  classification. 
Tourists  having  the  command  of  ample  resources  to 
engineer  such  a  deal,  invariably  purchased  estates  of 
this  character  already  in  bearing,  while  visitors  finan¬ 
cially  less  endowed  began  at  the  bottom  rung  of  the 
remunerative  vocation  by  planting  a  grove  and  then 
patiently  nursing  the  trees  to  their  fruiting  maturity. 

But  as  every  bright  ray  of  sunshine  is  cursed  to 
carry  in  its  wake  the  uncanny  shadow,  thus,  and  form¬ 
ing  a  most  undesirable  adjunct  to  the  annual  tourist 
incursion  that  gladdened  the  heart  of  the  Flori¬ 
dians  by  accelerating  commercial  activities,  with  the 
onset  of  the  wintery  weather  there  came  drifting  into 
the  state  a  vast  horde  of  uncouth  professional  tramps. 

In  the  piping  days  of  plenty  preceding  the  visitation 
of  the  Great  Freeze,  the  ragged  nomads  of  the  Road, 
even  more  liberally  than  this  is  their  standard  wont 
nowadays,  patronized  Florida  with  their  unwelcome 
presence.  For  then  the  state  was  fairly  studded  with 
settlements  which  ranged  from  merest  hamlets  to  the 
more  pretentious  cities.  These  communities  drew  an 
overflov/ing  measure  of  acceptable  prosperity  from  the 
business  created  by  the  presence  of  the  citrus  estates 
which,  park-like,  surrounded  them  in  every  direction 
of  the  compass.  A  comprehensive  example  of  the 
golden  opportunities  then  offered  all  comers  might 
readily  be  adduced  from  the  mere  statement  that  so 
heavy  was  the  volume  of  the  freight  and  passenger 
traffic  given  to  the  railroads  crisscrossing  the  penin¬ 
sular  district  of  Florida  that  it  was  a  common  matter 
to  meet  stations  distributed  at  intervals  of  less  than 
half  mile  distances  along  the  right  of  ways  of  the  rail¬ 
roads. 


g 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


IN  the  days  just  prior  to  the  advent  of  the  disaster 
of  the  Great  Freeze,  the  author  was  roaming  in 
mountainous  Eastern  Tennessee,  when  a  decidedly 
unpleasant  coldish  nip  in  the  air  at  the  dawn  of  day 
announced  the  approach  of  the  moment  of  betaking 
myself  to  the  natural  shelter  against  the  fierce  blasts 
of  the  Arctic-bred  tempests  afforded  by  mildly  clim¬ 
ated  Florida.  I  heeded  the  call,  as  likewise  did  all 
other  enterprising  hoboes  roving  in  the  territory  east 
of  the  waters  of  the  Mississippi  and  the  Missouri. 
Vagabonds  roaming  in  the  domain  located  to  the  west 
of  this  water  division  of  Wanderland,  fled  for  refuge 
to  the  country  stretching  along  the  line  drawn  be¬ 
tween  the  city  of  New  Orleans  and  the  coast  of  South¬ 
ern  California,  whenever  Jack  Frost  went  into  regular 
action. 

In  Florida,  and  largely  due  to  the  immense  revenues 
all  too  easily  acquired  by  natives  and  tourists,  tramps 
fared  most  famously  in  the  matter  of  provender  and, 
quite  frequently,  generous  gifts  of  money.  The  latter 
donations  were  mostly  handed  out  by  the  wealthier 
element  of  the  outlanders  wintering  in  the  state.  But¬ 
lers  and  other  haughty  household  menials  in  their 
employ,  who  ever  were  on  the  alert  to  forestall  the 
beggar  at  the  gate  gaining  a  personal  interview  with 
the  master  of  the  house,  had  been  left  behind  in  the 
Old  Country  to  guard  the  interests  of  their  absent  em¬ 
ployer.  Quite  unversed  with  the  devious  schemes 
enacted  by  the  American  mendicants,  the  affluent 
strangers  in  the  land  readily  fell  for  the  bait  covered 
by  the  artful  tales  of  woe  and  exquisite  misfortune 
recited  by  the  wily  panhandlers. 

To  work  the  countryside  more  thoroughly,  I  quit 
hoboing  the  railroad  cars  for  tramping  afoot  on  the 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


7. 


public  highways.  To  meet  personal  requirements 
while  on  the  way  overland,  I  had  taken  charge  of  a  cast¬ 
away  satchel  in  which  I  carried  an  assortment  of  nec¬ 
essaries  of  every-day  application. 

I  drifted  about  with  easy  stages,  and  when  spring 
opened  and  the  days  became  rather  too  hot  and  sultry 
for  good  comfort,  my  thoughts  naturally  turned  to  the 
moment  of  my  breaking  away  to  a  section  favored 
with  a  less  oppressive  climate. 

It  was  on  a  Sunday  that  I  came  walking  from  Enter¬ 
prise  Junction,  on  the  “Jacksonville,  Tampa  &  Key 
West  Railroad,’’  which  nowadays  forms  an  important 
component  of  the  Atlantic  Coast  Line  Railroad,  to  the 
town  of  Enterprise.  Quitting  the’  junction  point  long 
before  the  hour  of  breakfast,  and  though  the  distance 
to  Enterprise  was  but  a  scant  mile,  still  it  was  past 
high  noon  when  I  finally  arrived  at  my  destination. 

While  en  route  on  the  highway,  perchance,  I  walked 
by  a  limpid  pond.  Fish  disported  in  the  water.  As  I 
happened  to  be  an  angler  so  consistent  that  I  habitual¬ 
ly  carried  fishing  tackle  tucked  away  in  some  nook  in 
my  apparel,  I  promptly  fell  a  victim  to  the  lure  so 
tempting  to  a  fisherman.  The  hours  fleeted  so  un¬ 
awares  that  midday  was  at  hand  when  I  tore  myself 
from  the  most  excellent  fishing. 

In  the  meanwhile  my  appetite  had  become  most 
keenly  wetted  not  only  by  reason  of  having  missed 
that  morning  connections  with  my  breakfast  but  even 
more  so  on  account  of  the  bracing  air  that  was  heavily 
charged  v/ith  fragrant  scent  exhaled  by  the  myriads 
of  citrus  blossoms  profusely  blooming  in  the  orchards 
near  at  hand. 

When  I  reached  the  limits  of  Enterprise,  I  went 
among  the  residences  to  seek  employment  in  payment 
for  my  dinner.  Although  I  diligently  applied  this  and 
other  schemes  available  to  the  vagrant  in  quest  of 


8  Here  and  There  With  A-No.i 

victuals,  everywhere  I  knocked  I  was  sent  empty- 
handed  on  my  way,  though  the  folks  I  approached 
treated  me  quite  civilly.  I  soon  arrived  at  the  con¬ 
clusion,  that  there  was  nothing  the  matter  with  the 
inhabitants  of  Enterprise  but  that  the  fault  solely  lay 
with  the  circumstance  that  the  day  happened  to  be 
Sunday. 

In  all  the  households  of  America  a  most  astonishing 
regularity  was  observed  in  the  time  of  the  serving  of 
the  three  meals  of  the  six  ordinary  days  of  the  week. 
Tramps  calling  at  the  kitchen  entrances  during  the 
hour  intervening  between  seven  and  eight  of  the  morn¬ 
ing  were  likely  assured  to  obtain  a  fair  share  of  the 
family  breakfast.  Dinner  in  the  States  and  luncheon, 
its  Canadian  equivalent,  was  punctually  tabled  between 
noon  and  the  half  hour  following.  The  repast  of  the 
evening  commonly  fell  around  six  o’clock. 

But  with  the  serving  of  the  meals  on  the  Sunday  it 
was  quite  a  different  story.  Each  and  every  household 
seemed  to  have  installed  a  strictly  private  schedule 
that  was  almost  certain  to  vary  from  every 
other  meal  plan  of  the  neighborhood.  So  displaced 
were  the  meal  hours,  that  on  a  Sunday  it  amounted  to 
the  veriest  windfall  of  sheer  good  fortune  should  d 
Weary  Willie  arrive  at  the  gate  of  a  residence  at  the 
opportune  moment  to  be  in  personal  evidence  while  a 
repast  was  being  partaken  of  by  the  occupants  of  the 
home.  Enterprise  furnished  another  glaring  proof  of 
what  a  hobo  had  to  contend  with  on  every  Lord’s  Day 
of  his  wayfaring  career. 

Said  the  mistress  of  the  first  residence  I  approached: 
“So  exceedingly  sorry  that  I  cannot  accommodate  you 
with  even  an  indifferent  lunch,  my  good  man.  We 
breakfasted  at  eleven  and  now  are  making  ready  to 
attend  the  Sunday  school,  and,  therefore,  I  am  quit^ 


-  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  9 

sure  you  won’t  expect  me  to  prepare  another  meal 
especially  for  you.” 

I  saw  the  light  and  went  to  visit  a  neighbor,  where 
I  was  met  by  the  master  of  the  house  who  revealed  a 
pointed  bit  of  domestic  imposition  as  he  ruefully  com¬ 
plained:  “On  Sunday  my  wife  does  not  care  to  rise 
until  quite  late  in  the  afternoon  and  I  am  forced  to 
look  after  my  own  i  meals,  and  as  Towser  cleans  the 
plates,  there  isn’t  anything  left.” 

Another  lady  exposed  the  secret  of  her  meal  time¬ 
table,  when  she  replied:  “There  isn’t  anything  edible 
in  the  house,  as  we  breakfasted  at  seven,  shall  dine  at 
one  and  then  serve  a  light  lunch  an  hour  or  so  only 
before  we  retire  for  the  night.” 

Still  another  housewife  groaned:  “Here  it’s  eight 
o’clock  for  the  morning  meal,  at  three  we  have  our 
luncheon  and  at  seven  a  course  dinner.” 

She  kindly  invited  me  to  put  in  appearance  at  the 
house  at  any  convenient  meal  hour,  but  I  was  famished 
and  ,  went  on  and  on  with  my  search  until  I  was  pre¬ 
sented  with  a  dollar  by  a  resident  whose  accent  of 
speech,  appearance  and  general  deportment  betokened 
him  to  be  a  citizen  hailing  from  a  foreign  shore. 

Deciding  to  invest  the  donation  on  the  purchase  of 
a  substantial  meal,  I  learned  that  no  restaurant  had 
located  at  Enterprise  where  business  flourished  dur¬ 
ing  the  term  of  the  winter  tourist  season  only,  while 
commercial  stagnation  ruled  the  remainder  of  the 
year.  But  there  were  hotels  galore,  and  they  were  of 
a  grade  showing  their  exclusive  catering  to  the  patron¬ 
age  of  the  wealthier  tourists. 

Harrassed  by  hunger,  I  threw  aside  the  fine  distinc¬ 
tions  of  caste  when  I  hiked  into  the  hotel  nearest  at 
hand,  the  “Victoria  Inn.”  Depositing  my  satchel  with 
the  hotel  clerk,  the  latter  invited  the  registering  of  my 
name  and  address  in  the  guest  book  of  the  inn. 


10  Here  and  There  With  A~No.  i 

On  casually  glancing  over  the  list  of  the  addresses 
previously  inscribed  on  the  register,  with  surprise  I 
noted  that  almost  every  stranger  stopping  at  the  hotel 
was  the  bearer  of  a  title  of  nobility.  Because  I  hap¬ 
pened  to  be  straightway  American-born  and  made 
light  sport  of  the  frills,  foibles  and  follies  connected 
with  the  observation  of  the  various  birth  rights  sa¬ 
credly  adhered  to  by  Europeans,  my  republican  belief 
in  the  equality  of  all  mankind  was  ruffled  so  sorely  by 
the  odd-sounding  prefixes  I  perused,  that  actuated  by 
the  spirit  of  practical  joking  I  blithely  registered  as 
“Lord  Warework,  London,  England.” 

Then  I  bravely  strutted  into  the  gorgeously  ap¬ 
pointed  dining  room  of  the  “Victoria  Inn.”  My  rough 
attire  of  the  Road  stood  out  in  a  rather  ugly  contrast 
against  the  elegant  apparel  of  the  ladies  and  their 
faultlessly  dressed  gentlemen  escorts.  Coolly  ignoring 
the  shafts  of  resentment  cast  in  my  direction  by  both, 
guests  and  hotel  hirelings,  I  executed  such  amazing 
inroads  on  the  food  that  the  waiters,  though  other¬ 
wise  masterly  they  might  have  been  trained  in  the 
control  of  their  personal  emotions,  gasped  with  aston¬ 
ishment. 

After  luncheon,  I  checked  out  the  satchel  and  then 
began  the  return  trip  afoot  to  the  railroad  junction. 
The  playful  antics  of  the  fish  in  the  pond,  where  I  had 
angled  in  the  forenoon,  called  for  another  term  of  the 
sport  I  doted  on.  Dusk  had  begun  to  shroud  the  land¬ 
scape  when  the  rumbling  of  a  northbound  train  was 
heard  in  the  distance.  This  went  to  remind  me  of 
my  intention  to  retreat  to  a  more  temperate  climate. 
I  acted  on  the  impulse  of  the  moment.  Discarding  the 
satchel  at  the  shore  of  the  pond,  I  hurried  away  to 
take  hobo  passage  aboard  the  approaching  train.  The 
latter  was  a  local  freight  that  made  all  the  interme¬ 
diate  stops  en  route. 


Here  and  There  With  "A-No.%  IT 

At  that,  I  had  quite  failed  to  pay  a  due  considera¬ 
tion  to  the  abrupt  changes  in  the  weather,  such  as 
were  ordinary  occurrences  throughout  the  territory 
of  the  Southland.  In  the  course  of  the  night,  and 
while  I  was  dodging  hither  and  thither  to  avoid  hail¬ 
ing  contact  with  members  of  the  train  crew  who  were 
searching  the  cars  for  hobo  helpers  to  handle  the 
freight  for  their  passage,  the  tail  end  of  a  blizzard 
came  sweeping  down  on  fair  Florida,  where  the  tem¬ 
pest  sent  the  mercury  of  the  thermometer  hugging 
the  freezing  point  so  closely  that  at  Green  Cove 
Springs  I  deserted  the  train  and  then  by  gradual  stages 
began  drifting  returnward  to  the  warm  lake  region  of 
Florida. 

While  at  Tavares  I  was  chopping  kindlings  for  pro- 
vender,  the  owner  of  the  residence  came  to  visit  with 
me.  He  eyed  mp  strangely  askance. 

“Aren’t  you  ‘Lord  Warework’?  he  exploded,  finally. 

“  ‘Lord  Warework’?”  I  echoed  surprised,  having  quite 
forgotten  the  registering  of  the  fictitious  address  over 
at  Enterprise. 

“You’re  the  same  fellow  I  saw  stopping  at  the  ‘Vic¬ 
toria  Inn’,”  he  said  positively,  refreshing  my  memory 
to  where  I  recalled  the  odd  incident. 

Entertaining  no  hope  to  escape  a  frank  confession 
of  the  laughable  deception,  I  regaled  the  man  to  a  de¬ 
tailed  review  of  the  affair. 

“A  dandy  practical  joke,  wasn’t  it,  though?’’  I 
beamed  on  finishing  with  the  report. 

“You  dare  call  such  miserable  trick  ‘a  practical 
joke’?”  soberly  retorted  the  citizen  of  Tavares.  “On 
the  morning  of  the  Monday,  people  who  had  previous¬ 
ly  seen  you  fishing  at  the  pond,  while  passing  on  the 
highway  espied  the  satchel  you  had  abandoned.  Hor¬ 
ror-stricken  they  raced  to  town  and  there  spread  the 
alarm  that  in  all  probability  a  titled  European  had  met 


12  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  'i 

with  accidental  drowning.  Fearing  the  worst,  Land¬ 
lord  Ericson  engaged  darkies  to  seine  the  lake.  When 
this  effort  effected  no  solution  of  the  disappearance  of 
the  stranger,  the  hotel  keeper  invited  the  residents  of 
Enterprise  to  form  searching  parties  to  scour  the  coun¬ 
tryside  for  a  trace  of  the  missing  traveler.  Even  in¬ 
cluding  the .  distinguished  guests  of  the  hotels,  all 
Enterprise  willingly  obeyed  the  urgent  summons. 
When  we  came  straggling  back  into  town  with  empty 
hands,  someone  suggested  an  inspection  of  the  con¬ 
tents  of  the  satchel  for  information  that  might  have 
led  to  a  revelation  of  the  identity  of  the  owner. 

“Amid  the  breathless  interest  of  the  tired  folks  who 
had  participated  in  the  futile  search,  the  lock  of  the 
satchel  was  forced.  A  howl  of  deepest  derision  was 
raised  when  ragged  raiment,  frayed  railroad  time 
tables  and  other  worthless  junk  proclaimed  the  prop¬ 
erty  to  be  that  of  a  professional  hobo.  Ericson  took 
the  disappointment  so  keenly  to  heart,  that  he  had 
to  take  to  his  bed  and  even  to  this  day  cannot  bear  a 
mention  of  anything  reminding  him  of  the  straying 
of  Xord  Beware-of-Work’,  as  we  quickly  and  correctly 
translated  the  title  you  had  assumed.  If  I  were  in 
your  place,  by  all  means  would  I  avoid  running  afoul 
of  Ericson,  for  he  not  only  is  an  innkeeper  but  also  the 
justice  of  the  peace  for  the  Enterprise  town  district.” 

Having  aired  his  personal  opinion,  the  fellow  dis- 
gruntedly  went  into  his  residence.  In  fear  that  the 
citizen  might  communicate  over  the  telephone  with 
the  authorities,  I  precipitately  quit  the  wood  chopping 
without  waiting  to  claim  my  lunch.  When  I  had  trav¬ 
eled  a  safe  distance  beyond  Tavares,  I  hugely  enjoyed 
a  contemplation  of  the  immense  discomfiture  which 
had  rewarded  Landlord  Ericson  as  a  result  of  my  jolly 
scribbling  in  the  guest  journal  of  the  “yictoria  Inn,” 


Frencliy  recognized  by  the  Floridian, 


14  Here  and  There  With  'A~No.% 

The  second  winter,  succeeding  the  one  made  his-* 
torically  memorable  by  the  Great  Freeze, 
brought  me  back  to  Florida.  Long  before  I 
crossed  the  state  line,  I  was  practically  to  learn  of  the 
wide  range  of  the  indescribable  havoc  enacted  by  the 
tragedy  of  Nature.  In  the  years  gone  by  train  on 
train — virtually  forming  an  uninterrupted  procession 
racing  on  limited  schedule  hauling  their  immense  car¬ 
goes  of  oranges,  other  citrous  fruits  and  early  veg¬ 
etables  to  the  northern  markets — were  passing  north¬ 
bound,  while  returning  trains  of  “empties’^  afforded  no 
end  of  opportunities  for  safe  hiding  places  to  floaters 
pilgrimating  to  the  warmer  section.  This  great  traffic 
had  petered  away  to  a  lone  “bobtailed”  local  freight 
which,  at  that,  on  alternating  days  only  ran  back  or 
forth,  respectively,  over  each  railroad  division.  The 
passenger  carrying  business  was  in  an  even  worse 
shape.  The  many  trains-de-luxe  of  former  years  had 
been  discontinued.  A  few  accommodation  trains  of¬ 
fered  to  trespassers  the  only  available  other  transpor¬ 
tation  over  the  numerous  railroad  systems  centering 
at  Jacksonville,  the  gate  and  getaway  city  of  Florida. 

Arriving  within  the  state,  I  witnessed  the  effects 
of  the  cold  which,  though  continuing  but  comparative¬ 
ly  few  hours,  had  ruthlessly  destroyed  every  vestige  of 
such '  vegetation  as  Nature  had  not  intended  to  exist 
in  the  lands  to  the  north  of  the  Tropic  of  Cancer.  The 
brief  spell  of  extreme  weather  had  frozen  to  solid  ice 
the  life-sustaining  sap  circulating  through  the  plants 
and  trees  affected  by  cold,  even  that  pulsating  in  the 
farthest  reaches  of  their  roots. 

At  Jacksonville,  where  I  had  so  often  visited  during 
the  height  of  the  tourist  rush  of  the  winter,  all  the 
palatial  hotels — in  other  days  the  justifiable  pride  of 
the  citizens — were  closed  to  business.  The  wharves 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


15 


of  the  water  front,  the  gage  of  commerce  of  a  seaboard 
city,  were  barricaded  against  public  access.  The  thor¬ 
oughfares  of  both  the  business  and  residence  districts 
offered  a  most  forlorn  sight  by  stores  and  homes  be¬ 
ing  placarded  with  weather-worn  ‘Tor  Kent”  and 
‘Tor  Sale”  posters.  In  whatever  direction  one  chanced 
to  turn  were  encountered  the  telltales  that  the  resi¬ 
dents  of  the  state  had  been  brutally  disillusioned  in 
their  implicit  trust  in  an  eternal  continuance  of  the 
mild  winter  weather  which  without  a  noteworthy 
breach  had  favored  Florida  for  so  many,  many  years. 

South  of  the  metropolis,  the  country  at  large  dis¬ 
played  even  more  conspicuously  the  ravages  of  the  cold 
snap.  The  territory  was  converted  into  a  howling  des¬ 
olation  from  which  a  teeming  population  had  fled  as 
before  a  mortal  plague.  Nowhere,  so  it  seemed,  was 
there  any  sensible  satisfaction  to  be  gained  from  a 
further  investing  of  hum.an  endeavor  or  financial  re¬ 
sources  on  a  revival  of  the  utterly  ruined  citrus  indus¬ 
try  which  by  the  proof  of  the  Great  Freeze  had  been 
placed  in  the  status  of  a  mere  gamble  from  which  Jack 
Frost  was  bound,  sooner  or  later,  to  emerge  again  as 
the  winner  of  the  board.  Grove  on  grove,  erstwhile 
containing  row  after  row  of  evergreen  foliaged  trees 
groaning  under  their  load  of  attractive  tropical  fruit 
and  beautiful  blossoms  were  transformed  into  veri¬ 
table  graveyards  of  ghastly  stripped  tree  skeletons. 
Everywhere  magnificent  homes  could  be  seen  aban¬ 
doned  to  the  fury  of  the  elements  as  not  even  the 
astute  gatherer  of  taxes  could  dispose  of  the  proper¬ 
ties  at  any  price.  There  were  ever  so  many  villages 
entirely  deserted  by  their  inhabitants,  while  in  others 
there  remained  but  a  handful  of  people,  mostly  darkies, 
while  towns  and  cities  had  lost  a  major  portion  of 
their  permanent  and  all  but  an  insignificant  number 
of  their  transient  population. 


16 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


rjATE  so  willed  it,  that  late  on  an  afternoon  while 
I  was  hoboing  northbound,  coming  from  Tampa¬ 
way,  I  was  fired  off  a  train  at  Enterprise  Junc¬ 
tion.  Vividly  recollecting  the  tard  warning  I  had  re¬ 
ceived  at  Tavares  in  the  matter  of  exercising 
an  extreme  caution  against  my  meeting  with  the  Land¬ 
lord  Ericson  of  the  “Victoria  Inn,”  I  vainly  staged 
every  desperate  means  resorted  to  by  trespassers  defy¬ 
ing  the  orders  of  a  train  crew. 

I  slipped  off  my  outfit  of  railroad  overalls  which  I 
habitually  donned  to  protect  my  street  attire  against 
damage  whenever  I  took  to  the  cars.  Tucking  the 
overalls  conveniently  under  my  arm,  I  looked  about 
for  an  opportunity  to  connect  with  a  meal  as  all 
through  the  day,  while  waiting  for  a  train  to  stop  at  a 
lone  water  tank,  I  had  tasted  no  morsel  of  food.  Of 
the  residences  looming  in  view  from  the  station  plat¬ 
form,  all  had  their  doors  and  the  windows  at  the  street 
level  boarded  up — an  infallible  indication  that  the 
houses  were  standing  unoccupied.  Enterprise  offered 
the  only  haven  of  relief  for  my  pressing  need  for  pro- 
vender.  My  ruffled  conscience,  though,  sorely  rebelled 
against  my  running  the  great  risk  of  encountering 
Ericson,  who,  being  of  Scandinavian  descent  by  rule  of 
his  name,  likely  might  prove  as  implacably  unforgiv¬ 
ing  as  had  been  the  other  people  of  his  race  I  happened 
to  offend.  But  hunger  gnawed  ever  more  annoying. 
Then  I  espied  a  gang  of  colored  track  repairers  toiling 
nearby,  and  went  to  meet  them  to  question  them  on 
matters  in  which,  for  cause  quite  obvious,  I  personally 
was  vitally  interested. 

“All  dem  yere  hotels  over  in  Enterprise  done  shut 
Clown  tight  and  dere  owners  lit  out  de  very  fust  thing 
after  de  Big  Freeze,  sah,”  reported  the  foreman  of  the 


''  Here  and  There  With  'A-No.i^  17 

section  gang.  ^‘De  'Victoria  Inn,’  yuh  is  inquiring 
about,  is  done,  too,  went  out  of  business  and  de  boss 
has  done  disjappeahed  as  done  all  de  odder  white  foaks 
dat  used  to  come  to  winter  in  dese  yere  parts^’ 

On  strength  of  this  information,  I  decided  to  brave 
a  call  in  town,  where,  so  as  to  observe  a  still  further 
precaution  against  untoward  surprises,  I  intended  to 
purchase  food  with  a  bit  of  loose  change  I  carried  for 
need  in  emergencies.  For  another  reliable  protection, 
I  awaited  the  arrival  of  nightfall  before  venturing  into 
Enterprise. 

Arriving  in  town,  I  found  fully  substantiated  every 
assertion  made  by  the  darky  track  master.  I  verified 
the  abandonment  of  the  “Victoria  Inn.”  As  this  was 
the  case  with  all  hotels  I  had  passed  in  the  weed-car¬ 
peted  streets,  the  entrance  of  the  inn  was  boarded  up, 
the  windows  were  festooned  with  ancient  cobwebs  and 
there  were  other  indications  that  the  discouraged 
owner  had  posthaste  decamped  from  Florida, 

There  was  no  eating  place  left  but  a  third-rate  hotel, 
the  “St.  John’s  House,”  named  after  the  river  flowing 
nearby.  Even  this  stopping  place  displayed  so  nu¬ 
merous  signs  of  poverty  in  the  matter  of  need  of  a 
painting  of  the  structure  and  extensive  repairs,  as  to 
provide  evidence  that  even  its  limited  guest  capacity 
more  than  sufficed  to  care  for  occasional  transients 
who  strayed  to  forsaken  Enterprise, 

At  the  “St.  John’s  House”  I  was  received  in  person 
by  the  landlord,  who  inquired  as  to  whether  I  was  a 
railroader,  on  having  taken  due  notice  of  my  railroad 
overalls  and  the  touch  of  train  grime  I  carried  inbed- 
ded  in  my  features.  I  surmised  by  his  question  that 
the  hotel  man  maintained  two  distinct  standards  of 
charges  for  his  patrons.  Eailroad  workers  and  sim¬ 
ilar  poor  fry  were  asked  to  pay  but  one  half  of  the 
schedule  enforced  against  the  general  public  and,  more 


18 


Here  and  There  With  'A-No.  % 

especially,  the  commercial  travelers.  By  personal  ex¬ 
perience  without  end,  I  had  learned  that  this  practice 
was  in  common  use  at  hotels  and  restaurants  every¬ 
where.  Truly,  each  and  every  suit  of  railroad  overalls 
I  wore  to  their  discard  in  the  course  of  years,  paid  a 
simply  stupendous  dividend  on  their  original  purchase 
price,  not  only  in  the  matter  of  virtually  halving  inn 
and  lunchroom  charges  but  also,  and  even  more  appre¬ 
ciated,  as  a  dependable  disguise  and  standby  whenever 
I  incurred  the  suspicion  of  inquisitive  strangers,  in¬ 
cluding  those  connected  with  the  police. 

^  Tempted  by  the  opportunity  opened  at  the  direct  in¬ 
vitation  of  the  questioning  hotel  owner,  I  permitted 
deception  to  prevail  by  acting  the  part  of  a  railroad 
employee.  The  imposition  netted  a  substantial  saving 
in  that  forthwith  I  was  proffered  supper,  the  lodging 
of  the  night  and  the  morning  meal  on  a  payment  of 
seventy-five  cents.  Aware  that  no  further  northbound 
train  was  due  to  stop  at  the  junction  before  noon  of 
the  coming  day,  I  accepted  the  favorable  terms. 

After  supper  was  served,  I  lounged  in  the  lobby  of 
the  hotel  where  I  felt  quite  secure  against  the  liability 
of  prying  eyes  penetrating  the  secret  of  my  identity. 
No  other  guest  stopping  at  the  hotel,  the  landlord,  pro¬ 
bably  divining  that  his  lone  patron  might  desire  some 
sort  of  entertainment,  joined  me  in  a  conversation 
covering  general  topics.  In  the  course  of  the  discus¬ 
sion  I  casually  remarked  that  I  had  visited  in  Florida 
in  the  days  preceding  the  Great  Freeze.  Obtaining  his 
cue  from  this  comment  the  hotel  proprietor  launched 

away  on  discussing  events  connected  with  the  calam¬ 
ity. 

Judging  from  the  gist  of  the  stories  my  host  began 
to  relate,  without  brooking  interruption,  most  evident¬ 
ly  he  had  made  it  a  point  of  personal  effort  to  mem¬ 
orize  incidents  detailing  queer  experiences  v/hich  had 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  19 

occurred  in  those  dark  days  of  general  demoralization. 
He  kept  me  hugely  amused  with  such  odd  reminis¬ 
cences.  Finally,  exhausting  his  stock  of  tales,  he  asked 
whether  I  was  in  position  to  report  some  laughable 
happening  he  might  properly  add  to  his  fund  of  funny 
occurrences. 

Since  the  day  of  the  enactment  of  the  “Wild-Goose 
Chase,”  staged  at  the  instance  of  the  zealous  proprie¬ 
tor  of  the  “Victoria  Inn,”  times  without  number  I  had 
repeated  for  the  entertainment  of  others  the  narrative 
of  my  adventure  at  Enterprise.  All  my  auditors  had 
hugely  enjoyed  the  tale  but  nary  a  one  had  behaved 
more  favorably  impressed  than  this  seemed  to  be  the 
case  with  the  owner  of  the  “St.  John’s  House  ” 

The  landlord  fairly  went  beside  himself  and  threat¬ 
ened  to  come  to  serious  harm  by  his  continued  salvoes 
of  boisterous  laughter  which  sent  him  helplessly  roll¬ 
ing  about  in  his  chair  and  brought  copious  tears  flo  w¬ 
ing  down  his  cheeks.  And  just  because  my  story-tell¬ 
ing  brought  such  great  satisfaction  to  my  latest  listen¬ 
er,  I  carefully  elaborated  on  that  portion  of  the  tale 
where  the  citizen  of  Tavares  had  referred  to  the  im¬ 
measurable  disappointment  of  Ericson  on  being  made 
the  butt  of  ridicule  by  those  of  his  fellow-citizens  who 
were  present  to  view  the  ragged  contents  of  the  dilap¬ 
idated  satchel  I  had  discarded  at  the  shore  of  the  pond 
when  I  did  not  care  to  be  encumbered  with  its  weight 
while  I  hopped  trains. 

Most  obviously,  the  hoary  maxim,  “Early  to  bed  and 
early  to  rise,”  was  conscientiously  observed  at  the 
hotel.  Although  the  night  was  still  young,  the  hotel 
man  suggested  that  bed  time  had  arrived.  He  per¬ 
sonally  took  the  trouble  to  awaken  me  in  the  morning. 
On  having  breakfasted,  I  tendered  my  host  the  price 
he  had  stipulated  should  be  paid  for  the  accommoda¬ 
tions  I  had  received.  To  my  utter  amazement,  he 


20 


Here  and  There  With  'A-No.  i 

roughly  brushed  aside  the  money,  and  then  thrust  into 
my  hand  a  statement  of  contents  as  faithfully  repro¬ 
duced  herewith: 

5,000-5  98 

THE  ONLY  HOTEL 

Enterprise,  Fla.,  1  -  3  -  19  0  0 
Mr.  Lord  Warework 

So  QIIj?  iloljn  0  ®r. 

Carl  Ericson,  Proprietor, 
formerly  of  the  “Victoria  Inn.” 


Room  No.  13 


1896 

March 

22 

To  2  dark i e  s  , 

@  ■ 

$ 

to  seining 

0  f  1 ake 

1.00 

2 

00 

U 

"  BalmtoMis- 

car  r i age  o  f 
Good  Inten- 

1900 

t  i  ons 

1  0 

00 

J  an . 

3 

Supper,  Bed 

&  Breakfast 

1.00 

3 

00 

$15 

00 

The  hotel  keeper  called  the  score. 


22 


Here  and  There  With  'A-No.% 

The  instant  I  had  discerned  from  the  printed  inscrip¬ 
tion  on  the  invoice  that  the  landlord  of  the  “St.  John’s 
House”  and  the  erstwhile  owner  of  the  now  defunct 
“Victoria  Inn”  were  the  self-same  character,  I  threat¬ 
ened  to  collapse  in  my  tracks  as  I  fully  realized  how 
neatly  I  had  trapped  myself  when  on  the  preceding 
evening  I  had  regaled  the  hotel  keeper  with  a  ridiculous 
account  of  the  error  that  had  made  him  the  laugh¬ 
ing  stock  of  Enterprise.  Obviously,  disdaining  to  fol¬ 
low  the  example  of  the  other  hotel  men  who  had  pre¬ 
cipitately  fled  from  Florida,  Ericson  had  taken  charge 
of  the  third-class  house,  when  the  patronage  of  the 
“Victoria  Inn”  went  dwindling  to  a  point  where  the 
revenue  obtained  proved  insufficient  to  properly  finance 
the  larger  and,  therefore,  more  expensive  venture. 

Because  of  my  most  unexpected  denouement,  I  was 
completely  struck  dumb  by  the  revelation.  When,  fin¬ 
ally,  I  dared  to  raise  my  eyes  in  the  direction  of  the 
hotel  man,  he,  glaring  malevolently,  unflinchingly  met 
my  guilty  gaze.  As  a  paltry  three  dollars  and  divers 
cents  was  the  total  of  my  available  cash,  I  was  in  no 
fettle  to  meet  the  amount  the  innkeeper  had  decided 
to  assess.  But,  discerning  myself  as  cornered,  I  at¬ 
tempted  by  sheer  bluffing  to  recover  that  which  I  had 
lost  by  talking  too  much. 

“What  of  this  ?”  I  cooly  snarled,  pointing  at  the  con¬ 
tents  of  the  bill. 

“What  of  which?”  Ericson  hurled  back  in  quick  fury. 
“Either  pay  in  full  or  stand  accused  of  obtaining  accom¬ 
modations  on  false  pretense  when  you  averred  you 
were  a  bonafide  railroader  and  as  such  entitled  to  a  re¬ 
duced  rate  at  this  hotel.  Your  conviction  will  mean 
the  serving  of  a  long  term  at  hard  labor  on  our  county 
farm  over  at  Deland,  where  prisoners  are  handled  with¬ 
out  gloves.” 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


23 


“Who’s  going  to  prescribe  such  merciless  punish¬ 
ment  against  a  harmless  wanderer  on  the  flimsy  charge 
brought  by  you  to  cater  to  personal  vengeance,  sir?” 
I  retorted,  while  I  grinned  in  defiance  at  the  raging 
Floridian. 

“I  happen  to  be  the  local  magistrate  and  for  this 
obvious  reason  placed  in  position  to  make  better  even 
than  merely  good  on  my  promise  to  square  in  full  the 
practical  joke  you  played  at  my  expense,”  he  thun¬ 
dered  with  shrieking  voice. 

“But,  sir,  I’m  lacking  all  of  twelve  dollars  to  satisfy 
the  debt  you  imposed,”  I  immediately  whined  in  reply, 
dejectedly,  and  thoroughly  cowed  at  what  I  had  been 
told. 

“I  had  to  produce  the  wherewithal  to  compensate  the 
darkies  I  hired  to  drag  the  pond  for  your  consarned 
carcass,”  bellowed  he.  “Besides,  I  had  to  bear  up  in 
sore  silence  when  the  citizen  came  over  from  Tavares 
and  contrived  to  irritate  the  old  trouble  anew  by  telling 
how  you  had  crowed  and  otherwise  made  light  of  my 
charity  to  assist  a  stranger  I  had  every  reason  to  be¬ 
lieve  that  he  had  come  to  serious  grief.” 

Quick  action  appeared  in  order  if  I  desired  to  save 
myself  from  the  penalty  so  closely  hanging  over  my 
head.  Fearing  the  worst,  I  humiliately  cast  myself  on 
the  mercy  of  my  persecutor  who,  being  a  squire,  car¬ 
ried  at  his  command  almost  dictatorial  powers  over 
such  as  I.  Perceiving  no  more  convenient  avenue  of 
escape,  I  humbly  pleaded  with  the  landlord  to  suggest 
some  means  whereby  I  might  obtain  the  money  to 
liquidate  my  indebtedness  to  him. 

“As  every  dollar  you  raise  now  will  count  a  reduction 
in  your  term  by  one  month,  perhaps  my  colored  help 
might  be  induced  to  purchase  your  suit  of  railroad  over¬ 
alls  which  has  brought  you  to  your  fall,”  he  proposed 
rather  condescendingly. 


24  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

For  the  sake  of  currying  favor  with  my  creditor,  I 
unreservedly  consented  to  the  sale  he  suggested,  which, 
as  it  progressed,  was  to  include  several  other  items  of 
my  wearing  apparel. 

The  porter  of  the  hotel  acquired  possession  of  the 
suit  of  overalls  on  the  payment  of  two  dollars.  ^  Not  to 
he  foiled  in  the  hunt  after  bargains  the  chef  insisted 
on  purchasing  my  coat  and  vest.  Aware  that  such 
fancy  garments  would  not  be  required  when  attired  in 
the  zebra-striped  convict  outfit  I  would  be  diligently 
tilling  the  acres  of  the  county  farm,  I  parted  with  the 
clothes  for  six  dollars.  My  pocket  knife  fetched  fifty 
cents  and  the  cap  brought  a  similar  sum.  For  three 
dollars  to  boot,  I  exchanged  my  fairly  good  shoes  for  a 
most  dilapidated  pair  of  heavy  plowman^s  brogans. 
With  the  cash  on  hand,  I  settled  my  account. 

Word  of  what  was  taking  place  at  the  hotel  spread 
like  wildfire  among  the  inhabitants  of  Enterprise.  Of 
the  latter,  many  had  been  participants  in  the  queer 
nobleman-hunt.  When  I  emerged  from  the  “St.  John’s 
House”  I  was  greeted  with  such  derisive  hoots  and 
howls  by  the  mob  that  had  assembled  in  the  street  be¬ 
fore  the  hotel  entrance  that  frightened  I  hurried  on 
my  way  and  continued  beyond  Enterprise  Junction 
until  I  had  reached  a  water  tank  stop.  There  I  re¬ 
mained  under  cautious  cover  until  after  nightfall.  Then 
I  hoboed  to  Jacksonville,  where  I  quit  the  cars  at  the 
city  limits.  Attired  in  shirt,  badly  grimed  by  the 
latest  hobo  trip,  trousers  and  battered  boots  only,  I 
felt  in  no  proper  appearance  to  be  hailed  by  the  police 
for  a  questioning  to  account  for  my  lack  of  suificient 
covering. 

But,  certainly,  my  adventure  had  taught  me  a  hard 
and  fast  lesson.  Never  since  have  I  essayed  to  play 
the  role  of  an  aristocrat  at  hotels  or,  for  that  matter, 
anywhere  else,  Acting  the  plain,  everyday  American 


25 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

citizen,  I  steered,  wide  of  the  liability  of  encounters  on 
the  order  of  that  which  proved  a  two-edged  boomeran'^- 
at  Enterprise,  where,  and  of  this  I  have  no  least  doubt, 
to  this  day  Landlord  Ericson  of  the  “St.  John’s  House/’ 
continues  to  entertain  his  patrons  with  the  most  laugh¬ 
able  one  of  his  vast  fund  of  queer  remintscences  of  the 
days  of  the  “Great  Freeze,”--a  narrative,  and  I  might 
as  well  admit  candidly  this  terse  fact,  I  had  not  found 

the  heart  to  relate  again  since  I  was  obliged  to  “pay 
the  piper.” 


26 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  r 


CHAPTER  II. 

The  ‘‘C-C  &  C-C’’  of  Colorado. 


Occasionally  we  hear  of  railroads  being  over¬ 
taken  by  a  fate  so  tragic  and  brimming  with 
plots,  counter-plots  and  the  various  accessories 
of  the  standard  drama  as  to  prove  worthy  of  further 
development  by  a  talented  playwright.  Ordinarily,  only 
when  applying  for  rates  and  routings  at  a  railroad  sta¬ 
tion,  the  uninitiated  citizen  and,  especially,  the  one 
who  resided  beyond  the  regular  sphere  of  service  of 
the  rail  property  affected,  became  acquainted  with  the 
circumstance  that  some  sort  of  misfortune  probably 
had  camped  on  the  trail  of  a  railway.  For  then,  unless 
absolutely  certain  of  his  ground,  the  depot  agent  re¬ 
ferred  for  dependable  instruction  to  the  contents  of 
the  “Official  Guide  of  the  Railways.”  This  was  a  volume 
of  some  sixteen  hundred  closely  printed  pages  and  was 
kept  on  file  in  every  railroad  office  in  the  land.  Be¬ 
cause  of  its  unusual  heft  and  bulky  appearance,  the 
book  had  been  dubbed  the  “Railroad  Bible.”  The  lat-  I 
ter  not  only  contained  the  passenger  train  schedule 
of  every  railroad  traversing  North  and  Central  Amer-  | 
ica,  the  sailings  of  steamboat  and  steamship  lines  but  ] 
also,  and  this  in  abbreviated  form,  the  time  tables  of  , 
the  more  prominent  of  the  electric  traction  companies. 
Therefore,  the  disappearance  of  the  name  of  any  cor-  j 
poration  engaged  in  rail  transportation  from  the  index  : 
of  the  “Railroad  Bible”  might  be  deemed  an  almost  in- 
fallible  omen  presaging  that  the  particular  system  ■ 
either  was  bodily  absorbed  by  another  railroad,  had 
its  official  title  changed  by  court  action  or  at  the  re¬ 
quest  of  stockholders,  had  been  disposed  of  by  public 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  27 

outcry  on  the  auction  block  or,  worst  fate,  was  aban¬ 
doned  as  a  commercial  failure  by  discouraged  owners. 

The  calamity  last  to  be  enumerated,  befell  the 
“Canon  City  &  Cripple  Creek  Railway,’^  which  in  the 
heyday  of  its  existence  controlled  something  like  forty 
miles  of  main-line  trackage  in  the  State  of  Colorado 
where  the  line  connected  the  two  points  from  which 
it  had  derived  its  title.  The  railway  .  afforded  the 
goldfield  of  the  Cripple  Creek  District,  blanketing  erst¬ 
while  almost  inaccessible  fastnesses  of  the  foothills  of 
heaven-piercing  Pike’s  Peak,  a  rail  outlet  to  the  world- 
at-large  at  Canon  City,  located  at  that  picturesque 
spot  in  the  vale  of  the  Arkansas,  where  the  waters  of 
this  river  tumultuously  tumbled  from  the  Rocky 
Mountains  through  the  towering  granite  cleft  of  the 
Royal  Gorge — one  of  the  foremost  of  the  grandest  of 
the  scenic  wonders  of  the  universe.  But  instead  of 
the  road-bed  of  the  defunct  railroad,  after  having  been 
thoroughly  stripped  of  every  valuable  item,  being 
calmly  relegated  to  quick  destruction  by  the  unkind 
elements,  the  right  of  way  of  the  “C-C  &  C-C”  was 
converted  into  a  most  excellent  automobile  road  that 
nowadays  is  flourishing  under  the  name  of  “The  Phan¬ 
tom  Canon  Highway.” 

It  was  while  casually  scanning  the  contents  of  a 
castaway  “Railroad  Bible”  that  I  first  missed  the 
name  of  the  “C-C  &  C-C”  from  the  roster  of  the  trans¬ 
portation  corporations  alphabetically  posted  in  the 
index.  Vaguely  surmising  that  possibly  a  fate  beyond 
the  range  of  the  common  had  overtaken  the  mountain 
railroad,  I  interested  myself  to  learn  further  of  the 
finish  of  the  system,  for  I  vividly  recalled  the  incidents 
of  a  droll  adventure  I  had  there  encountered  some 
twenty-five  years  previously.  And  I  brought  to  atten¬ 
tion  the  historical  items*  recorded  in  the  preceding 
paragraph. 


28 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

Pursuing  the  inquiry  still  deeper,  I  learned  that  the 
railroaders  who  had  participated  in  the  action  either 
had  been  assembled  with  their  forebears  or  had  en¬ 
tered  the  prosecution  of  a  less  strenuous  vocation  than 
was  railroading.  I  found  occasion  to  visit  with  the 
survivors.  On  discussing  the  adventure,  I  obtained 
an  unabridged  consent  to  publish  its  details  for  the 
amusement  of  my  readers. 

Forsooth,  every  rail  line  listed  in  the  “Railroad 
Bible”  seemed  to  maintain  a  claim  to  some  sort  of 
especial  achievement.  “No  Dust!”  advertised  the 
Union  Pacific  and  associated  systems  with  tracks  bal- 
asted  with  “Sherman  Gravel”  of  disintegrated  granite. 
“No  Cinders!”  proclaimed  the  “Lackawanna.”  The 
“New  York  Central  Lines”  boosted  their  perfectly 
functioning  freight  despatch.  On  the  other  hand,  the 
“Erie”  praised  the  punctuality  of  its  passenger  train 
service.  The  “Nickel  Plate”  boasted  of  its  peerlessly 
appointed  passenger  coach  equipment,  while  the 
“Southern  Pacific”  claimed  the  palm  for  its  long¬ 
distance  trains.  And  so  forth  and  on  right  through 
the  pages  of  the  index — every  railroad  nursed  its 
peculiar  renown. 

The  “Canon  City  &  Cripple  Creek”  proved  no  excep¬ 
tion  to  the  general  rule.  Although  but  a  rank  rail- 
roadlet,  the  circumstance  that  no  Brother  of  the  Road 
ever  had  hoboed  a  complete  trip  from  terminal  to  ter¬ 
minal,  provided  a  distinction  that  at  every  possible  op¬ 
portunity  was  flounted  by  the  employees  of  the  “C-C  & 
C-C”  to  the  attention  of  railroaders  manning  sister- 
systems. 

I  was  deposited  by  the  “Denver  &  Rio  Grande”  at 
Canon  City,  whence  I  desired  to  travel  to  Victor,  to 
visit  the  other  gold  camps  of  the  Cripple  Creek  sec¬ 
tion.  Hoboes,  and  outsiders  as  well,  had  cautioned  me 
in  the  matter  of  the  serious  obstacles  a  trespasser 


29 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

^^uld  have  to  surmount  to  gain  passage  over  the 

C-C  &  C-C.’^  I  had  made  light  of  these  warnings 
But  on  landing  in  the  Canon  City  railroad  yard  of  the 
system,  my  heart  leaped  in  the  throat,  figuratively 
speaking,  when  I  caught  a  first  glimpse  of  the  sort  of 
rolling  stock  in  commission  on  the  mountain  line.  The 
latter  turned  out  to  be  a  narrow  gauge  railroad  with 
tracks  measuring  three  feet  only  between  the  rails. 
Where  the  standard  gauge  railroads  had  car  and  coach 
equipment  of  proportions  so  ample  that  it  proved  an 
easy  feat  for  a  Wandering  Willie  to  swing  to  a  berth, 
more  or  less  comfortable,  on  trucks,  brakebeams  and 
along  the  gunnels,  such  rolling  stock  on  a  narrow 
gauge  road  was  of  a  size  so  abbreviated  that,  in  fair 
comparison,  they  actually  looked  more  like  play  toys 
of  tots  instead  of  bonafide  railroad  equipment.  The 
wheels  were  so  small  that  the  bodies  of  the  cars  and 
coaches  trailed  so  close  to  the  ground  that  not  even  a 
dwarf-sized  hobo  might  have  crawled  to  the  nether 
side  of  the  track.  The  engines  Were  of  measurement 
so  scant  that  neither  the  cowcatcher  nor  even  the  top 
of  the  water  tender  afforded  a  safe  retreat  beyond 
the  observation  of  the  crew  as  this  was  the  case  on 
locomotives  plying  on  all  standard  gauge  lines. 

While  I  was  still  contemplating  on  ways  to  overcome 
the  handicaps  I  would  have  to  contend  against  on  the 
"‘C-C  &  C-C,”  a  citizen  happened  along  through  the 
yard.  I  accosted  the  stranger  for  information  cover¬ 
ing  the  lay  of  the  mountain  line.  He  explained  that 
with  the  exception  of  a  few  widely  scattered  section 
houses,  homing  gangs  of  track  workers,  and  now  and 
then  a  station  residence,  occupied  by  depot  telegraph¬ 
ers,  no  other  human  habitation  was  to  be  encountered 
on  the  right  of  way  until  the  gold  mining  country  was 
reached.  There  was  a  good  reason  for  the  absence  of 
homes  and  the  like.  A  larger  portion  of  the  passage 


30  Here  and  There  With  "A-No.X 

of  the  railroad  had  been  bodily  blasted  from  the  rock- 
bound  palisades  of  picturesque  Phantom  Canon  by  the 
daring  engineers  who  had  conceived  and  then  con¬ 
structed  this  most  wonderful  bit  of  railroad  building. 

But  instead  the  disheartening  report  of  the  native 
proving  a  sharp  deterrent  to  my  projected  journey  to 
Cripple  Creek,  the  revelations  had  quite  a  different 
effect.  By  all  means,  I  decided  to  tackle  hoboing  over 
the  “C-C  &  C-C”  so  as  to  avert  walking  through  the 
canon  country  where  a  penniless  drifter  might  feast 
on  truly  sublime  scenery  but  where  food  of  whatever 
character  was  practically  unobtainable. 

When  in  the  course  of  the  afternoon  a  passenger 
train  hauling  two  miniature  coaches  and  an  express- 
baggage  combination  car  gayly  steamed  from  the 
Canon  City  Terminal,  I  contrived  to  reach  unobserved 
a  seat  on  the  “Blind  Baggage.”  When  I  had  traveled 
seven  miles  and  while  I  was  fairly  jubilating  at  my 
good  success  and  began  to  gain  visions  of  being  offered 
thanks  by  my  fellow-wanderlusters  for  having  smash¬ 
ed  the  record  of  the  “C-C  &  C-C,”  and  as  the  train 
was  approaching  Ora  Junction,  where  the  Florence 
branch  joined  the  main  line,  the  conductor  of  the  train 
stepped  to  the  front  platform  of  the  combination  car, 
probably  preparatory  to  registering  the  time  of  arrival 
and  departure  at  the  junction  stop. 

As  the  railroader  espied  my  presence,  his  anger  in¬ 
stantly  mounted  to  a  veritable  fury.  Without  an  op¬ 
portunity  to  explain  matters,  I  was  unceremoniously 
booted  from  the  coach  platform  of  the  moving  train. 
Still,  I  did  not  come  to  harm  on  the  rock  ballasted  right 
of  way.  Actually,  I  landed  upright  upon  my  feet  and 
without  even  a  least  of  tumbling.  For  so  prodigious¬ 
ly  Steep  was  the  grade  mounted  by  the  railroad  that 
the  train  proceeded  at  snail’s  pace  from  Canon  City, 
at  5,000  feet  above  sea  level,  to  Alta  Vista,  where  the 


31 


Here  and  There  With  'A-No.  i 

apex  of  the  line  was  reached  at  an  elevation  of,  approx¬ 
imately,  10,000  feet. 

The  passenger  train  had  departed  when  I  walked 
into  Ora  Junction.  Fair  fortune  was  to  favor  me,  for 
soon  afterward,  a  freight  came  snorting  uphill  from 
Florence-way.  When  the  train  hove  into  full  view,  I 
was  to  be  treated  to  a  surprise  in  that  I  counted  three 
heaviest  class  of  mountain  climbing  engines  boosting 
seven  freight  cars  and  the  caboose  of  the  train  up¬ 
wards  on  the  unusual  grade.  Two  of  the  locomotives 
were  coupled  on  ahead  of  the  cars  while  the  third  was 
pushing  with  might  and  main  at  the  stern  of  the 
train. 

A  swift  survey  of  the  situation  brought  a  decision 
on  my  part  to  take  advantage  of  the  slow  progress  of 
the  approaching  train  that  would  allow  an  easy  hop¬ 
ping  aboard  of  the  moving  cars  anywhere  on  the  grade. 

I  hurried  ahead  along  the  track  in  the  direction  of 
Cripple  Creek.  Even  before  the  freight  had  reached 
Ora  Junction,  I  had  come  to  a  sharp  curve,  one  of  the 
many  that  fairly  studded  the  right  of  way  which 
twisted  hither  and  thither  through  the  granite  defile. 
A  large  boulder,  weighing  well  into  the  tons,  lying 
near  the  outside  of  the  curve,  offered  an  excellent  hid¬ 
ing  place  from  the  obr'^rvation  of  the  train  crew  and 
the  personnel  of  the  three  locomotives — a  total  of 
eighteen  alert  eyes  I  would  have  to  avoid  if  I  hoped  to 
hobo  the  train  successfully. 

d As  the  freight  drew  abreast  of  where  I  was  waiting 
under  cover,  when  the  front  engines  had  passed  my 
retreat,  I  made  a  headlong  dash  to  the  side  of  the  cars. 
Undiscovered,  I  swung  to  the  bumpers  between  two 
box  cars  coupled  adjoining.  Balancing  myself  on  the 
car  couplings,  I  inspected  the  end  doors  of  the  cars  and 
found  one  of  them  improperly  locked.  Pushing  the 
door  ajar,  I  discerned  that  the  cargo  consisted  of  short 


32 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  ’i 

lengths  of  timber,  such  as  I  had  seen  used  as  props  in 
mines.  Further  investigation  disclosed  sufficient  room 
atop  the  lumber  for  a  hobo  to  squeeze  within  doors. 
Therefore,  I  climbed  into  the  car  and  then  carefully- 
barricaded  the  end  door  from  within  with  the  props 
so  as  to  avert  a  ready  examination  of  the  interior  of 
the  car  by  some  prying  member  of  the  train  crew.  But 
only  too  soon  I  became  aware  I  had  failed  to  reckon 
with  the  numerous  tunnels  driven  through  the  living 
rock  to  afford  passage  to  the  ‘'C-C  &  C-C.”  The  two 
engines  pulling  on  ahead  belched  forth  a  most  tre¬ 
mendous  volume  of  pitchy  smoke.  Whenever  the  train 
negotiated  one  of  the  mountain  bores,  the  noxious 
gases,  entering  my  throat,  brought  on  volleys  of  cough¬ 
ing. 

That  which  I  feared,  was  exactly  what  happened  be¬ 
yond  the  very  next  of  the  tunnels.  While  I  was  in  the 
midst  of  the  usual  attack  of  boisterous  coughing,  a 
brakeman  came  walking  on  an  errand  over  the  roof  of 
the  cars.  His  quick  attention  v/as  immediately  drawn 
by  the  noise  emanating  from  the  car  interior  under¬ 
foot.  Trailing  the  suspicious  racket  to  its  source,  the 
railroader  encountered  the  prop-harred  end  door. 

“Come  out  of  this,  you  fellow!”  yelled  the  train  man, 
infuriated  to  have  met  with  the  unexpected  obstruc¬ 
tion. 

There  was  no  answer,  for  I  reasoned  that  silence 
might  bring  the  brakeman  to  depart  in  peace  without 
troubling  himself  further,  But  I  sadly  miscalculated 
the  issue,  for  maddened  to  the  utmost  by  my  defiance, 
he  thundered  a  repetition  of  his  command,  to  which, 
in  this  instance,  he  added  the  threat  that  should  he  be 
compelled  to  dig  me  from  my  retreat,  he  would  regale 
me  to  a  royal  thrashing.  Although  quaking  with  fright, 
I  stubbornly  refused  obedience.  Then  I  heard  the 
railroad  employee  withdraw  one  of  the  mining  props 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


33 


Escaping  a  sound  drubbing. 


34 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


from  the  timber  bulwark  I  had  erected  at  the  end  door. 
A  moment  later — and  the  heavy  timber  came  smash¬ 
ing  to  the  roof  of  my  car,  thrown  there  by  the  rail¬ 
roader.  In  rapid  succession  others  of  the  timbers 
came  crashing  down  overhead.  Before  long,  I  knew 
myself  to  be  due  for  the  promised  sound  licking,  if  not 
worse. 

The  impending  punishment  sent  me  hustling  to  ob¬ 
tain  protection.  Eeplacing  the  props  withdrawn  from 
the  barricade  with  others  from  the  cargo,  I  worked 
like  a  beaver  until  I  had  returned  the  barrier  to  its 
former  strength.  The  faster  the  railroader  toiled, 
even  so  I  contrived  to  keep  a  bit  ahead  of  his  task. 
For  quite  a  term  this  queer  game  merrily  went  on. 
Then,  having  ascertained  that  he  was  making  no  gain, 
the  train  employee  shouted  over  the  car  tops,  calling 
his  fellow  workers  to  his  aid. 

Footfalls  on  the  way,  and  the  tenor  of  several  voices 
soon  announced  that  not  only  had  the  train  conductor 
hastened  forward  to  assist  his  subordinate,  and  that 
the  other  brakeman  had  arrived  at  the  scene  of  action, 
but  also  that  the  three  firemen  of  the  engines  had  left 
their  posts  of  duty  to  help  with  the  task  of  dislodging 
the  pesky  hobo  from  his  car  fort. 

Before  many  minutes  I  might  have  been  forced  to 
surrender  myself  to  the  doubtful  mercy  of  my  perse¬ 
cutors  if  it  had  not  been  for  the  fortunate  circum¬ 
stance  that  the  aperture  of  end  doors  in  narrow  gauge 
box  cars  was  of  such  a  limited  size,  that  one  man  at  a 
time  only  could  work  with  the  props.  When  the  con¬ 
tents  of  the  car  had  dwindled  to  where  one  of  the  side 
entrances  became  unobstructed,  I  tried  the  side  door, 
to  find  it  so  securely  fastened  from  without,  that  it 
would  not  be  budged — not  even  when,  actuated  by 
sheer  desperation,  I. threw  my  weight  full  against  it. 
J  decided  to  attack  the  door  from  another  tack.  Se- 


35 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

lecting  a  prop  of  rather  slender  diameter,  I  wedged  the 
timber  into  the  crack  between  the  door  and  the  side  of 
the  car.  Then  using  the  fastened  prop  as  a  lever,  I 
managed  to  demolish  the  cast-iron  stays  that  held  the 
lower  section  of  the  door  in  rigid  position.  Swinging 
the  door  outward  from  the  hangers,  I  safely  dropped 
to  the  right  of  way— at  the  moment  when  I  saw  the 
brakeman  working  at  the  barricade  peering  across  a 
depression  he  had  made  in  the  piled  props. 

I  had  not  only  gained  my  freedom  but,  luckily,  had 
quit  the  box  car  while  the  train  was  bending  a  curve 
and  then  had  landed  to  the  outside  of  the  latter. 
There  the  cars,  as  they  passed,  shielded  me  from  a 
direct  observation  by  the  train  men  whom  I  discerned 
toiling  faster  than  ever  at  the  props,  for,  obviously, 
the  railroaders  believed  their  victory  to  be  at  hand. 

Withal  the  fortune,  I  had  drifted  into  still  another 
predicament.  I  happened  to  have  landed  on  the  same 
side  of  the  track  where  the  engineer  of.  the  pusher  en¬ 
gine  was  seated  in  the  cab  of  his  locomotive.  There 
was  no  time  to  spare  to  search  for  a  hiding  place,  as 
but  three  of  the  seven  freight  cars  had  to  pass  my 
station  by  the  track  until  I  would  appear  in  the  full 
view  of  the  engineer  of  the  pusher.  Doubtlessly,  on 
discovering  my  unscathed  escape,  this  fellow  might 
blow  the  whisle  to  announce  my  getaway  or,  and  this 
most  probably,  he  would  stop  the  train  dead  on  the 
grade  to  permit  the  maddened  railroaders  to  take 
after  me. 

A  swift  decision  was  in  place.  To  gather  my  wits, 

I  swung  to  the  front  platform  of  the  caboose,  where 
I  saw  a  glass  panel  let  in  the  door  leading  into  the  car. 
Gazing  indoors,  I  discerned  nobody  left  in  charge. 
Stepping  into  the  car  to  inspect  its  lay,  I  discovered  a 
likely  haven  of  refuge  in  an  empty  box  seat,  such  as 


36  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

did  service  in  the  night  as  pallet  for  the  members  of 
the  crew. 

Just  then,  and  by  purest  luck,  I  chanced  to  glance 
from  a  window.  I  was  horror  stricken  when  I  saw  how 
the  train  men  who  had  been  hunting  me,  were  stand¬ 
ing  strung  out  alongside  the  train,  preparatory  to  their 
swinging  aboard  the  caboose.  In  an  instant  I  had 
solved  the  puzzle — they  had  discovered  my  escape 
from  the  car. 

Pellmell,  I  squeezed  myself  into  the  empty  box  seat, 
and  scarcely  had  I  slammed  its  cover  shut,  than  the 
train  men  came  trooping  into  the  caboose,  where  they 
took  seats,  several  of  them  occupying  the  cover  of  the 
box  seat  that  hid  me  from  view.  Assuredly,  they  were 
angered  to  the  utmost,  as  I  judged  this  from  the  con¬ 
versation  they  entered  in  forthwith  and  which  solely 
concerned  the  means  I  might  have  employed  to  disap¬ 
pear  so  mysteriously  from  under  their  hands.  As  each 
man  held  a  different  opinion  in  the  matter  of  my  es¬ 
cape,  soon  a  heated  argument  was  under  way  which 
resulted  in  the  pusher  engineer  being  interviewed  to 
ascertain  whether  he  had  seen  me  left  behind.  V/hen 
an  unsatisfactory  reply  was  obtained,  the  conductor 
ordered  the  brakemen  over  the  train  where  they  w^ere 
to  drop  to  the  track  from  the  point  of  the  pilot  of  the 
first  engine.  They  then  were  to  station  themselves 
one  at  each  side  of  the  passing  train  to  inspect  every 
nook  and  cranny  to  see  if  the  onery  trespasser  had 
gained  another  retreat.  Soon  the  train  men  returned 
empty-handed  from  their  quest,  and  when  they  re¬ 
ported  the  particulars  of  their  futile  search,  I  could 
not  restrain  myself  and  enjoyed  a  hearty,  though  silent 
l^ugh  at  their  expense. 

For  a  while  everything  went  well  with  me,  though 
the  box  seat  afforded  but  painfully  narrow  quarters. 
Then  the  train  passed  another  tunnel  that  proved  of 


Here  and  There,  With  'A-No.  %  37j 

greater  length  than  any  of  the  preceding  bores.  The 
caboose  soon  became  filled  with  suffocating  coal  gases. 
Then  the  inevitable  was  to  come,  for  though  I  bit 
my  fingers  to  avert  the  racket,  I  broke  loose  into  a 
furious  fit  of  coughing.  Frightened  sheer  out  of  their 
wits,  the  railroaders  hopped  high  from  their  seats,  as 
I  discerned  this  by  the  way  of  cracks  between  the  poor¬ 
ly  fitting  boards  of  the  box  seat.  When  the  men  in¬ 
vestigated  the  source  of  the  wheezing  noise  emanating 
from  below,  they  finally  discovered  my  whereabouts. 

Although  I  was  roughly  handled  and  dragged  from 
my  refuge,  the  expected  penalty  failed  to  materialize 
on  the  spot.  I  found  myself  favored  with  a  reprieve, 
because  the  train  employees  were  anxious  to  question 
me  so  as  to  satisfy  their  curiosity  as  to  the  means  I 
had  employed  to  quit  unobserved  the  box  car.  So  it 
seemed,  they  wished  to  compare  their  theories  with 
the  actual  fact  covering  my  escape,  and  to  learn  who 
of  them  had  come  nearest  to  correctly  solving  the 
riddle. 

Improving  the  offered  opportunity,  I  greatly  ex¬ 
tended  my  reply  by  weaving  a  heart-rending  story  of 
woe  into  my  explanation.  As  a  result  of  this  shrewd 
strategy,  the  train  men  overcame  every  desire  to  wreak 
vengeance  on  my  person.  My  punishment  was  reduced 
to  an  order  to  vacate  the  train  on  the  grade.  From 
where  I  was  left  behind,  it  was  a  brief  walk  of  three 
miles  to  Alta  Vista,  the  apex  of  the  grade,  whence  I 
followed  a  short-cut  mountain  trail  to  Victor.  There 
I  boarded  an  electric  traction  car  for  Cripple  Creek 
and  the  other  points  of  interest  in  the  gold  mining 
district.  Even  long  before  sunset,  I  had  become  sa¬ 
tiated  with  the  sight-seeing  in  the  section. 

As  I  stopped  at  a  Cripple  Creek  store  to  inquire  con¬ 
cerning  the  train  time,  the  shopkeeper  on  informing 
me  that  the  “C-C  &  C-C”  despatched  an  ev_ening  train 


38 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


to  Canon  City,  whispering  his  further  words,  contin¬ 
ued:  “Would  you  care  to  earn  a  handsome  reduction 
on  the  regular  passenger  fare,  stranger  ?  Four  dollars 
for  a  trip,  at  a  rate  of  ten  cents  the  mile,  is  the  straight 
train  charge  to  Canon  City.  But  IVe  got  a  friend  who 
will  see  you  safely  through  on  two-fifty.’^ 

Although  I  had  not  even  a  red  penny  to  my  name, 
when  I  cheerily  nodded  consent  for  the  sake  of  hear¬ 
ing  the  details  of  the  scheme,  the  store  owner  explain¬ 
ed:  “Do  not  purchase  your  ticket.  Simply  enter  the 
last  coach  in  the  train  and  there  take  a  seat,  if  pos¬ 
sible  by  yourself,  near  the  back  end  of  the  car.  When 
the  conductor  approaches  you  for  your  ticket  or  cash 
fare,  hand  him  the  sum  mentioned  with  a  note  I  shall 
supply.” 

As  no  prepayment  or  other  untoward  preliminaries 
were  demanded,  I  readily  consented  to  abide  by  the 
instructions  provided  for  my  guidance  and,  deciding 
to  risk  being  dumped  en  route  where  after  nightfall 
the  walking  of  the  remainder  of  the  distance  to  Canon 
City  would  prove  more  pleasant  than  during  the  day¬ 
light  hours  when  hunger  might  become  harrassing, 
I  went  from  the  store,  taking  along  the  written  identi¬ 
fication  that  was  to  set  me  at  rights  with  the  train 
conductor. 

Even  while  I  marveled  how  the  store  proprietor  and 
the  crooked  railroad  employee  had  arrived  at  a  mu¬ 
tual  understanding  in  the  matter  of  peddling  cut-rate 
transportation  on  a  railway  that  even  then  for  the 
dire  want  of  funds  was  fiercely  struggling  to  keep  out 
of  the  hands  of  a  receiver,  appointed  by  the  courts,  a 
pedestrian  caught  up  with  me  in  the  street,  whose 
uniform  betrayed  him  to  be  a  passenger  train  brake- 
man  on  the  “C-C  &  C-C.”  Because  of  this,  I  main¬ 
tained  pace  with  him  to  ask  if  the  evening  train  was 
due  to  depart  on  time, 


I 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  39 

“That’s  always  the  case  with  every  train  aboard  of 
which  I  work  as  a  “rear”  brakeman,  sir,”  said  the 
surly  fellow,  introducing  himself  as  being  a  “flagman” 
in  the  passenger  train  service. 

This  casual  exchange  led  to  further  conversation, 
in  the  course  of  which  the  railroader  heard  of  my  in¬ 
tention  to  travel  to  Canon  City.  Also,  that  I  harbored 
no  scruples  to  journey  at  a  reduced  rate  of  fare.  Would 
I  consider  a  chance  to  reach  rny  destination  on  an  out¬ 
lay  of  a  dollar  and  fifty  cents,  though  I  might  be  asked 
to  take  passage  on  an  exposed  coach  platform?  I  in¬ 
formed  him  that  I  would  be  willing  to  do  anything, 
provided,  I  w^ould  not  be  brought  into  collision  with 
the  police.  Further,  and  this  to  forestall  aU  risk  of  a 
prepayment  being  requested,  I  insisted  that  there 
must  be  no  request  for  a  fare  settlement  until  quite  a 
portion  of  the  journey  was  traveled.  He  consented  to 
my  reservations,  and  then  ordered  that  I  immediately 
take  an  electric  car  for  Victor,  the  first  halt  made  by 
the  evening  train.  There,  I  was  to  climb  aboard  the 
“Blind  Baggage,”  he,  the  flagman,  guaranteeing  non¬ 
interference  by  the  other  members  of  the  train  crew 
and  the  police.  Only  w^hen  the  half-way  w^ater  tank 
station  wms  reached,  v/as  the  stipulated  fare  to  be  col¬ 
lected  by  the  train  porter,  the  “head”  brakeman,  who, 
in  the  meanwhile,  was  to  be  taken  in  confidence  on  our 
deal. 

As  the  brakeman  had  offered  to  further  reduce  by 
a  dollar  the  low  rate  posted  by  his  conductor  with  the 
tradesman  and,  still  more  favorably  playing  plumb 
into  my  hands,  was  to  permit  my  hoboing  in  perfect 
security  to  the  midway  stop,  I  did  not  have  the  heart 
to  refuse  patronizing  the  most  accommodating  chap. 
A  charitable  passer-by  in  the  street,  advanced  my  fare 
by  trolley  car  to  Victor.  There,  as  I  ran  to  board  the 
“Blind  Baggage”  of  the  departing  evening  train,  I  had 


40  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

the  immense  satisfaction  to  see  the  head  brakeman 
curiously  peering  from  the  nether  platfrom  of  the 
combination  car,  while  from  the  last  coach  the  flagman 
was  watching  to  be  assured  that  I  took  proper  passage 
on  the  car  platform  to  the  rear  of  the  water  tender  of 
the  engine. 

All  went  well — until  the  engineer  whistled  for  the 
halfway  water  station.  Then  a  vagrant  gust  of  wind 
blew  open  the  coach  door  leading  from  the  “Blind  Bag¬ 
gage”  into  the  combination  car.  When  a  train  man 
went  forward  in  the  car  to  shut  the  door,  espying 
somebody  crouching  in  the  darkness  outdoors,  I  was 
ordered  to  enter  the  baggage  compartment,  which  oc¬ 
cupied  the  forward  portion  of  the  car.  The  fellow — 
he  was  the  baggage  master  of  the  train — roughly  de¬ 
manded  that  I  pay  him  the  exact  fare  from  Cripple 
Creek  to  the  water  stop.  When  I  claimed  to  be  with¬ 
out  funds,  he  offered  to  compromise  for  a  dollar.  When 
I  held  out,  he  volunteered  to  carry  me  all  the  way 
through  to  Canon  City  for  the  same  amount.  Be¬ 
cause  I  could  not  meet  his  cut-throat  fare,  he  chased 
me  from  the  car  and  then  I  was  bounced  off  the  plat¬ 
form,  while  the  engineer  was  jockeying  the  train  for 
position  in  front  of  the  spout  of  the  water  tank. 

As  I  struck  solid  soil,  I  intentionally  fell  prone  to 
the  ground.  When  the  train  came  to  a  standstill,  I 
rolled  into  the  shadow  of  the  combination  car.  While 
awaiting  further  developments,  I  overheard  a  squab¬ 
ble  raging  overhead  in  the  baggage  compartment.  The 
two  brakemen  were  having  it  out  in  great  form  with 
the  baggage  master  whose  statement  that  I  had  de¬ 
clared  myself  in  financial  straits,  they  challenged  as 
an  untruth. 

Remaining  lying  close  by  the  side  of  the  outgoing 
train,  I  allowed  the  coaches  to  roll  on  the  way  until  the 
rear  platform  of  the  last  coach  drew  along.  Boarding 


The  Baggage  Master  meant  business. 


42 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


this,  I  thoroughly  enjoyed  the  rare  night  scenery  un¬ 
folding  while  the  train  cautiously  snaked  downhill 
through  the  titanic  rift  of  Phantom  Canon.  Ora 
Junction  was  reached  and,  after  the  usual  registering 
in  and  out,  was  left  behind  in  safety.  The  arc  lights 
of  Canon  City  had  begun  to  twinkle  above  the  horizon, 
when  something  went  amiss  with  the  lights  glowing 
in  the  red  lamps  glimmering  their  warning  against 
collision  from  either  end  of  the  rear  coach,  and  then 
the  flagman  stepped  onto  the  platform  to  adjust  the 
trouble.  He  was  almost  tripped  off  the  train  because 
of  my  reclining  against  the  coach  side.  Instantly  he 
raised  the  cry  of  “Hobo,”  from  which,  though,  he 
calmed  as  abruptly  on  ascertaining  the  identity  of  the 
“dead  head”  passenger  his  train  had  hauled. 

“Where’s  the  ‘One-Fifty’  we  came  to  terms  on  back 
in  Cripple  Creek?”  he  exploded,  and  when  I  under¬ 
took  to  explain  my  financial  disability  to  complete  our 
contract,  he  commenced  to  pare  his  “private”  fare  un¬ 
til  the  amount  he  named  had  dwindled  to  a  quarter 
dollar.  When  even  this  pittance  was  not  to  be  ob¬ 
tained,  he  wanted  to  be  satisfied  with  some  sort  of 
gift,  such  as  a  pocket  knife. 

In  view  of  the  short  distance  remaining  to  be  tra¬ 
versed  to  Canon  City,  I  refused  to  entertain  any  trib¬ 
ute.  This  termination  of  our  deal  brought  the  flagman 
to  fly  into  a  veritable  fury,  and  savagely  grabbing  hold 
of  me  by  the  collar  of  my  overall  jacket,  he  bodily 
dragged  me  into  the  coach,  where  the  conductor  of  the 
train  happened  to  be  present  and  to  whom  the  rear 
brakeman  now  reported  my  trespassing. 

“Ticket  or  cash  fare,  please!”  functionally  droned 
the  conductor,  and  as  I  failed  to  make  good  on  either 
part  of  his  ofiicial  request,  he  instructed  the  flagman 
to  hold  me  in  custody  for  the  Canon  City  police. 


Here  and  There  With  A~No.  i  43 

Fearing  that  I  was  up  against  a  serious  session  with 
the  authorities,  I  informed  the  conductor  that  I  carried 
for  him  a  note  by  the  storekeeper  of  Cripple  Creek. 
When  the  railroader  looked  at  me  askance,  as  if  not 
believing  my  claim,  I  drew  foi'th  the  bit  of  paper  of 
which  I  allowed  the  conductor  to  have  a  glimpse  of  the 
signature  only.  But  this  mere  glance  proved  sufflcient, 
for  his  heretofore  almost  haughty  demeanor  fell,  al¬ 
most  magically,  to  treatment  approaching*  craven  civil¬ 
ity.  Ordering  my  prompt  release  from  the  care  of  the 
flagman,  the  conductor  quite  cordially  invited  me  to 
a  coach  seat  somewhat  apart  from  the  others  occupied 
b3^  the  bonaflde  passengers  traveling  in  the  coach. 
Forthwith  he  seated  himself  at  my  side  and  then 
humbly  besought  the  surrender  of  the  incriminating 
slip  of  paper.  Visions  of  what  might  happen  should 
my  method  of  coming  to  the  town  be  tipped  off  to  the 
police  officers,  always  in  evidence  in  railroad  terminals 
at  train  time,  cautioned  a  careful  detention  of  the  mes¬ 
sage.  When,  and  this  despite  all  his  persuasive  ef¬ 
forts,  he  failed  to  change  the  plan  of  action  I  had  laid 
out  for  my  guidance,  the  disappointed  railroader  slunk 
to  where  the  flagman  had  stationed  himself  to  await 
developments.  The  involved  train  men  presently  en¬ 
tered  in  a  conference  to  discover  means  wherewith 
they  might  disentangle  themselves  from  their  dilem¬ 
ma.  But  their  meeting  had  not  continued  in  the  ways 
of  peace  for  very  long,  before  they  went  at  each  other 
with  harsh  words,  either  accusing  the  other  of  having 
effectively  queered  their  most  profitable  source  of  left- 
handed  revenue. 

Their  unreasonable  squabbling  so  irresistibly  touched 
my  vein  of  humor,  that,  forthwith,  I  gave  vent  to  my 
feelings  in  a  volley  of  laughter.  This  seeimngly  un¬ 
warranted  mapifestation  brought  the  terrified  con¬ 
ductor  leaping  to  the  side  of  my  seat,  There  he  stood  as 


44 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

if  transfixed  until  he  had  collected  his  shattered  wits 
to  solicitously  inquire  whether  I  had  determined  to  call 
the  attention  of  his  superiors  to  his  criminal  shortcom¬ 
ings. 

Although  I  completely  ignored  this  query,  I  desired 
the  grafter  to  become  acquainted  with  the  cause  of  my 
merriment.  Raising  a  hand,  I  began  to  count  on  my 
fingers,  so  as  to  keep  an  exact  tab  on  what  I  was  about 
to  enumerate. 

*‘Back  over  in  Cripple  Creek  I  worsted  your  friend, 
the  storekeeper,  in  the  matter  of  his  coming  in  on  the 
‘spliC  of  the  cash  he  believed  I  would  be  coming  across 
with  in  settlement  of  your  cut-rate  passenger  tariff. 
Again,  neither  of  your  brakemen  connected  with  any 
share  in  their  crooked  enterprise.  Once  more,  your 
baggage  master,  too,  was  left  in  the  lurch  in  his  line  of 
business.  You,  personally,  will  quit  this  deal  not  only 
with  empty  hands  but  also  with  a  badly  seared  char¬ 
acter.  Finally,  I  smashed  to  smithereens  the  vaunted 
record  of  the  ‘C-C  &  C-C'  on  the  score  of  being  rated 
hobo-proof,’^  I  smiled,  speaking  so  well  subdued  that 
my  words  were  audible  exclusively  to  the  conductor, 
who  was  trembling  like  an  aspen,  and  then  I  capped 
my  triumph  with  a  pertinent  question:  “Now,  sir,  don’t 
you  think  this  a  mighty  clever  bit  of  work  for  a  brief 
hour  of  hoboing?” 

The  conductor,  visibly  writhing  in  the  agonies  of 
his  guilt-stricken  conscience,  did  not  seem  to  appre¬ 
ciate  the  capital  joke  I  had  played  at  his  expense,  and 
until  the  train  entered  the  depot  limits  of  Canon  City, 
he  uttered  nary  a  further  word.  Then  he  deserted  his 
station  by  my  coach  seat,  to  assist  passengers  to  alight 
from  the  car.  Following  in  the  wake  of  the  crowd, 
and  while  I  was  in  the  act  of  descending  from  the 
coach  to  the  station  platform,  I  pressed  the  evidence 
of  his  dishonesty  in  the  palm  of  the  hand  the  con¬ 
ductor  had  extended  to  steady  jny  step.  Neither  of  us 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i,  45 

said  a  blessed  word,  though  the  beaming  expression 
that  instantly  lit  up  his  countenance  announced  the 
vast  relief  he  experienced  from  the  immense  mental 
strain  under  which  he  had  labored  all  during  the  soul- 
racking  uncertainty  as  to  whether  or  not  there  would 
come  the  expected  exposure  of  his  graceless  offense. 

For  the  sake  of  gaining  some  important  information 
in  the  matter  of  the  westbound  train  service  of  the 
“Denver  &  Rio  Grande,’'  I  lingered  in  the  waiting 
room  of  the  terminal  station,  where,  in  another  sec¬ 
tion  of  the  structure,  in  the  meanwhile  the  conductor, 
too,  was  detained  by  the  posting  of  his  train  report. 
It  so  happened  that  because  of  these  delays  in  our  de¬ 
parture,  we  were  to  meet  again  within  the  portal  of 
the  depot.  Thence  we  went  into  the  street  in  com¬ 
pany.  Considering  our  recent  encounter  a  closed  af¬ 
fair  every  mention  of  which  was  to  be  tabooed  by 
mutual,  though  silent,  consent,  we  began  to  discuss 
commonplace  topics.  But  soon  our  speaking  com¬ 
menced  to  lag  through  the  conductor  failing  to  evince 
the  proper  spirit  to  uphold  his  end  of  the  conversa¬ 
tion.  He  broke  the  ban  only  when  we  arrived  in  the 
street  where  he  had  to  turn  a  corner  to  reach  his 
home,  for  then  the  railroader  stammered  this  odd  fare¬ 
well  :  “Stranger,  although  I  have  every  reason  to  sus¬ 
picion  from  your  demeanor  that  I  am  dealing  with  a 
professional  hobo,  in  grateful  remembrance  of  the  fact 
that  you  knew  how  to  keep  your  counsel  on  my  serious 
transgression,  my  wife,  our  little  ones  and  I  shall  join 
in  offering  up  a  daily  prayer  for  your  welfare.  But 
from  this  night  onward,  there  will  be  no  further  graft¬ 
ing  connected  with  any  of  my  railroading,  as  you  came 
within  a  narrowest  margin  of  breaking  another  rec¬ 
ord  on  the  ‘C-C  &  C-C’— the  reputation  for  honesty 
which  through  all  my  years  of  service  I  had  enjoyed 
in  the  esteem  of  my  employers,  and  this  deservedly , 


46 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 
* 

until  I  went  down  before  the  temptation  that  comes 
to  every  mortal  soul  once  in  a  life-time.” 

And  then  without  another  word,  but  sobbing  aloud 
as  if  his  heart  was  breaking  beneath  its  burden  of  re¬ 
morse,  the  conductor  wended  towards  his  home — 
where,  doubtlessly,  a  faithful  wife  and  his  kiddies  were 
anxiously  awaiting  his  safe  return. 


STRADDLING  the  frame  of  a  coach  truck  beneath 
a  Pullman  sleeper  coupled  in  an  express  train  of 
the  “Denver  &  Rio  Grande,”  I  hoboed  from  Canon 
City  to  Salida  and  over  the  Tennessee  Pass  into  the 
land  of  the  Mormons  and  on  and  on  without  breach  or 
letup  through  my  years  and  years  of  aimless  roving. 
Continually,  and  without  least  thought  of  the  enorm¬ 
ous  peril,  I  roughed  it  unscathed  where  my  fellow 
roamers  paid  the  penalty  of  the  Road  either  in  a  hor¬ 
rible  death  or,  and  by  far  worse,  with  a  life-term  of 
crippled  damnation.  Innumerable  penal  institutions, 
everywhere,  with  gates  ever-yawning  to  receive  their 
heavy  toll  of  men  of  the  Wanderpath,  seemingly  were 
locked  against  my  admission.  Truly,  and  most  won¬ 
derfully,  best  of  luck  and  simply  miraculous  good  for¬ 
tune  were  my  steady  lot — ever  since  the  conductor  of 
the  “C-C  &  C-C”  passenger  train  volunteered  to  re¬ 
deem  in  earnest  prayer  the  most  peculiar  debt  of  grat¬ 
itude  he  had  so  strangely  incurred. 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


47 


CHAPTER  III. 

The  Samaritan  of  Mattoon. 

IT  happened  that  the  author  strayed  into  the  kitchen 
of  our  Erie  residence  while  there  Mrs.  A-No.  1,  who 
proved  quite  incapable  of  refusing  anyone  in  need, 
was  provisioning  another  one  of  those  half-starved 
hobo  kids  who  accasionally  knocked 'at  our  gate  for 
provender.  Correctly  surmising  that  this  youth,  who 
looked  as  if  he  still  was  within  his  ’teens,  was  a  run¬ 
away  from  home,  I  undertook  to  interrogate  the  way¬ 
ward  on  his  having  strayed  onto  the  Road,  a  path  that 
inevitably  led  on  to  perdition. 

In  the  course  of  the  cross-examination,  I  wormed 
from  the  lad  the  admission  that  in  the  central  portion 
of  the  state  of  Illinois  he  hailed  from  the  small  city  of 
Mattoon.  Then  I  took  due  note  how  Mrs.  A-No.  1 
looked  askance,  while  she  heard  me  questioning  the 
boy  as  to  whether  or  not  he  was  acquainted  with  a 
Mrs.  Louis  Katz,  a  resident  of  his  home  town.  ^  On  the 
youngster  stating  that  his  parents  were  on  neighborly 
terms  with  the  lady  I  had  mentioned,  I  went  to  the 
trout’ 3  to  explain  that  absolutely  nothing  but  bottom¬ 
less  shame  and,  more  than  likely,  dishonorable  death 
was  to  be  gained  by  him  should  he  continue  his  vaga¬ 
bonding  over  the  land.  In  this  strain  of  insistent 
warning  I  persisted  until  the  thoughtless  chap  be¬ 
came  so  homesick-stricken  that  he  willingly  accepted 
my  offer  to  see  him  provided  with  a  ticket  to  Mattoon. 

On  returning  from  the  railroad  station,  where  I  had 
seen  the  juvenile  delinquent  aboard  his  homebound 
train,  I  was  met  by  wifey,  who  sharply  reproved: 
"‘This  is  the  third  young  hobo  you  have  sent  back  to 
Mattoon  at  your  personal  outlay  within  the  course  of  a 


48 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


year.  More  rationally,  and  serving  the  same  purpose 
better,  you  might  have  wired  the  relatives  of  the  way- 
wards  to  meet  the  expense  of  the  fare,  asking  this  as 
a  least  favor.  Further,  I  wish  you  did  tell  me  who 
is  this  woman,  the  Mrs.  Louis  Katz,  you  always  refer 
to  whenever  you  are  dealing  with  runaways  from  her 
locality  of  residence?’’ 

“There  is  a  glorious  tale  of  practical  charity  to¬ 
wards  another  wayward,  who  now  is  your  husband, 
connected  with  my  returning  these  youths  to  Mattoon, 
my  dear,”  I  assured  Mrs.  A-No.  1,  who  immediately 
pleaded  that  I  state  the  particulars  of  the  adventure. 


iMi 


main-line  arteries  of  two  important  trunk 
railways  crossed  at  Mattoon.  Running  east  and 


west  was  the  “Big  Four  Route,”  while  the  “Illi¬ 
nois  Central  Railroad”  connected  northern  points  with 
southern  destinations.  All  trains  of  either  transporta¬ 
tion  system  scored  a  lengthy  halt  at  Mattoon  be¬ 
cause  there  the  railroad  mentioned  first  maintained  a 
division  point,  while  the  Illinois  Central  had  to  trans¬ 
fer  freight  and  passenger  traffic  here  for  points  on  a 


tap  line  leading  tov/ards  Southern  Indiana. 

Both  main  lines  were  double-tracked  to  care  for  an 
enormous  volume  of  traffic.  The  latter  not  only  com¬ 
prised  the  regular  freight  and  passenger  offerings  but 
also,  and  forsooth.  Wandering  Willies  in  veritable 
hordes.  With  the  probable  exception  of  the  armies  of 
hoboes  traveling  over  the  “Lake  Shore”  division  of  the 
New  York  Central,  and  the  Chicago-St.  Louis  route  of 
Chicago  &  Alton  and  the  Chicago-Kansas  City  line  of 
the  Santa  Fe,  no  two  other  railroads  were  plagued  with 
tramps  like  the  two  systems  crossing  at  Mattoon. 

There  was  a  shrewd  calculation  of  opportunities  un¬ 
derlying  this  highly  undesirable  tramp  patronage.  In 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


49 


the  days  of  the  beginning  of  this  adventure,  the  chance 
of  a  hobo  being  arrested  for  trespassing  on  the  “Big 
Four  Route”  stood  something  like  one  hundred  and 
seven  times  in  the  favor  of  the  ride  thief  escaping 
punishment  for  his  dangerous  practice.  This  ratio 
was  reached  by  multiplying  535,  the  mileage  between 
Cleveland  and  St.  Louis,  by  2,  the  count  of  the  tracks 
of  the  double  tracked  main-line,  and  again  by  20,  the 
average  run  of  daily  trains,  and  then  dividing  21,400, 
the  product  obtained,  by  200,  a  numeral  representing 
the  actual  track  mileage  patrolled  by  each  officer  in 
the  employ  of  the  railway’s  police  department,  each 
man  being  assigned  to  guard  one  hundred  miles  of  the 
main  line.  On  the  Illinois  Central  the  show  of  avoid¬ 
ing  legal  complications  proved  no  less  propitious  for 
the  train  rider.  There  363,  the  distance  of  the  Chica- 
go-Cairo  line,  was  multiplied  by  2,  the  double  track¬ 
age,  and  again  by  35,  the  average  despatch  of  trains 
each  day,  and  then  by  dividing  25,410  by  100,  as  each 
special  agent  had  charge  of  fifty  miles  of  the  main  line, 
giving  a  ratio  of  two  hundred  and  fifLy-foui  times  in 
the  interest  of  the  lav/-defying  tramp  avoiding  deserv¬ 
ed  penalty  at  the  hand  of  man. 

(In  this  day.  May,  1921,  the  hazard  of  the  Lain  bum¬ 
mer  being  brought  to  justice  had  become  reversed  by 
reason  of  the  far  greater  number  of  railroad  officers 
nowadays  engaged  in  the  relentless  persecution  of  this 

particular  class  of  transgressors.) 

While  both  corporations  manfully  battled  against 
the  ever-growing  pest— -in  the  main  consisting  of  va- 
granting  criminals  capable  of  enacting  offences  rang¬ 
ing  from  the  annoying  misdeeds  of  the  petty  pilferers 
to  the  gory  acts  committed  by  actual  and  potential 
murderers,  the  citizens  of  Mattoon  went  not  without 
reminders  of  the  two-legged  plague.  This  trouble 
could  not  well  have  been  avoided,  when  every  tram 


50  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  j 

brought  to  town  a  flock  of  more  or  less  starved  beggars 
who  like  a  cloud  descended  on  the  residence  districts. 

With  years  on  years  of  this  ceaseless  “battering” 
of  the  private  homes  going  on  day  in  and  day  out,  Sun¬ 
days  included,  from  long  before  break  of  dawn  until, 
not  infrequently,  after  midnight,  the  Mattooners  had 
arrived  at  that  point  of  human  endurance  where  in  the 
matter  of  dispensing  charity  their  patience  had  come 
to  that  frazzled  edge  where  there  was  no  response 
given  to  any  knocking  at  the  gate  or  the  other  more  or 
less  devious  devices  of  panhandling  resorted  to  by  the 
resourceful  bummers  of  the  Road. 

So  it  came  to  pass,  that  in  the  time  of  my  wander- 
lusting,  trampdom  rather  freely  conceded  that  of  all 
the  “bum-sick”  communities,  with  every  certainty, 
Mattoon  was  one  of  the  “hungriest”  in  the  lot.  The 
campfire  tales  told  in  this  regard  fully  substantiated 
this  contention.  It  was  a  most  commonplace  occur¬ 
rence  to  hear  of  bets  being  freely  placed  and  invariably 
lost  by  mendicants  of  long  experience  who  had  proven 
themselves  incapable  of  herding  even  a  skimpiest 
handout  in  all  the  burg.  Furthermore,  the  outcome  of 
numerous  encounters  between  vagabonds  and  mem¬ 
bers  of  the  Mattoon  police  force  quite  sufficiently  ver¬ 
ified  the  assertion  of  local  citizens  that  only  officers 
were  taken  on  who  were  qualified  to  swiftly  maze  into 
meek  submission  the  surly  among  the  generally  phys¬ 
ically  perfect,  though  indescribably  degenerate  tran¬ 
sients  whose  sole  occupation  consisted  of  sponging  an 
existence  that,  most  likely,  would  have  proven  un¬ 
acceptable  to  creatures  as  low  in  the  station  of  life 
as  the  mangy  cur  dog. 

And  into  this  fiercely  hobo-hostile  Mattoon  I,  then 
but  a  youth,  drifted  by  train.  On  tackling  the  resi¬ 
dences,  to  my  vast  sorrow  I  was  all  too  quickly  to  learn 
that  the  tales  of  the  hoboes  were  not  exaggerated  by 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


51 


Mattoon  of  Illinois  was  liobo-proof. 


52 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  'i 


an  iota.  After  my  all-day  trip  on  the  cars  of  a  fast 
freight,  there  was  not  to  be  had  any  response  what¬ 
ever  to  my  humble  knocking  for  provender.  For¬ 
sooth,  I  duly  observed  that  in  no  other  panhandle- 
proof  community  I  had  met  with  so  many  garden  gates 
and  fence  posts  so  thoroughly  overscribbled  with  the 
chalked  sign  of  the  circle  quartered  with  a  cross — the 
ominous  mark  of  trampdom  which  heralded  reliable  in¬ 
telligence  where  marble-hearted  folks  resided. 

In  the  end,  sheer  stubborn  perseverance  went  re¬ 
warded.  The  mistress  of  a  stately  manor  allowed  her¬ 
self  to  linger  through  my  explanations,  how  I — as  usu¬ 
ally  passing  himself  as  a  trade  apprentice  engaged  in  a 
bonafide  search  of  employment — had  unawares  reach¬ 
ed  the  strait  where  I  was  compelled  to  rely  for  aid  on 
the  charity  of  the  community. 

‘TVe  raised  four  sons,  and  as  there’s  no  telling  but 
that  some  day  one  or  the  other  of  my  lads  might  be 
caught  in  your  present  predicament,”  the  lady  an¬ 
nounced  sweetly,  “and,  though,  it’s  quite  contrary  to 
a  mutual  understanding  among  our  local  housewives 
never  to  further  vagrancy  by  the  provisioning  of  tran¬ 
sients  calling  at  the  back  doors  of  our  residences,  I 
shall  dare  stretch  a  point  in  your  favor  as  my  mother’s 
heart  goes  out  to  you,  a  mere  boy.” 

Then  the  good  lady  retired  into  her  house,  whence, 
before  long,  I  took  my  leave  rejoicing  as  I  carried  on 
my  journey  a  large  paper  pouch  filled  with  such  edi¬ 
bles  as  might  be  best  appreciated  by  a  famished  way¬ 
ward.  As  for  obvious  cause  I  disliked  to  remain  in 
town  to  court  another  heartbreaking  handout  foraging 
expedition  I  departed  from  Mattoon  aboard  the  first 
train  leaving  in  the  direction  of  my  destination  of  the 
moment.  In  the  run  of  the  life  of ’the  Road,  I  soon 
had  forgotten  the*  kind  soul  v\^ho  had  lent  a  helping 
hand  where  her  co-residents  had  become  sensible  to 


Here  and  There  With  A-No/i 


53 


the  terse  fact  that  relief,  indiscriminately  extended  to 
the  stranger  at  the  gate  merely,  nay,  fearfully,  encour¬ 
aged  the  curse  of  professional  mendicancy. 

Some  years  went  by— then  I  came  railroading  an¬ 
other  time  into  Mattoon.  Tighter  fisted  than  ever  be¬ 
fore,  affairs  stood  worse  for  the  panhandlers.  Even 
my  persistent  efforts  sorrily  failed  to  boost  the  in¬ 
terest  of  the  housewives  to  where  they  might  come 
across  with  food.  It  was  then  that  in  my  sheer  ex¬ 
tremity  I  chanced  to  recall  the  incidents  of  my  preced¬ 
ing  trip  in  quest  of  grub  in  Mattoon.  This  remem¬ 
brance  brought  on  an  idea  that  in  all  probability  the 
woman  who  fed  me  on  that  day  might  not  likely  recog¬ 
nize  in  me  her  former  caller.  I  had  not  only  arrived 
at  man’s  estate  but  with  the  coming  of  age,  I  nad  per¬ 
mitted  a  mustache  to  adorn  my  upper  lip  after  a  fash¬ 


ion.  Banking  on  this  and  other  differences  in  my  per¬ 
sonal  and  general  appearance,  I  bravely  went  to  the 
house  of  the  good  lady  who  had  acted  so  mercifully 

before. 

Fortune  seemed  to  favor  my  errand  as  the  lady  quite 
failed  to  recognize  in  my  person  the  fellow^  by  whom 
she  had  been  fooled  previously.  Then  I  recited  a  tale 
of  sad  tribulations  which  perfectly  fitted  with  her 
mental  estate,  that  I  knew  to  be  forever  occupied  with 
the  devolving  of  plans  conceived  in  a  boundless  mother 
love  to  see  unlimited  success  in  life  come  to  her  sons. 
The  plausible  yarn,  hatched  on  the  spur  of  the  mo¬ 
ment,  struck  home  as  thoroughly  as  I  had  expected 
it  should  The  woman  entirely  forgot  the  anti-hobo 
Ob  "b  to  her  fellow  housewives,  a  covenant  still 
strictly  being  adhered  to  by  all  the  town,  as  I  had 
learned  to  my  sorrow.  When  I  concluded  my  story  of 
woe,  she  requested  that  I  step  into  her  kitchen,  so  she 
might  prepare  a  substantial  meal.  ^ 

Obeying  her  instructions,  I  was  then  given  a  chair 


54 


Here  and  There  With  'A-No/i, 

while  my  hostess  busied  herself  with  the  assembling 
of  my  repast.  But  soon  I  had  ample  cause  to  rue  the 
colossal  audacity  which  had  impelled  my  return  to  this 
particular  residence,  for  the  lady  of  the  house  forth¬ 
with  began  to  send  at  my  person  searching  glances 
from  out  the  comers  of  her  eyes.  Obviously,  there 
had  come  to  her  mind  a  vague  suspicion  that  all  was 
not  well  with  her  tramp  guest.  I  tried  coolly  to  dis¬ 
miss  her  untoward  attention  as  a  demeanor  of  inno¬ 
cent  curiosity.  When  she  continued  her  tactics,  I  de¬ 
cided  to  rebuke  her  by  acting  the  role  of  a  total  strang¬ 
er.  But  soon  this  defensive  measure  was  proven  to  be 
of  no  worth,  for  my  guilt-burdened  conscience  brought 
me  to  the  pass  where  I  would  not  lift  my  gaze  from 
the  floor  of  the  kitchen.  This  damaging  auto-confes¬ 
sion  had  the  quick  effect  to  conclusively  confirm  the 
belief  of  my  hostess  that  she  was  dealing  with  a  rank 
impostor  on  her  charity.  When  she  had  arrived  at 
the  point  of  righteous  indignation  where  she  could  no 
longer  contain  her  anger,  she  blurted :  “Aren’t  you  the 
same  chap  who  stopped  at  my  house  some  years  ago 
and  then  bound  on  the  identical  kind  of  errand  as  this 
is  yours  on  the  present  evening?” 

“You’re  positively  mistaken,  marm,”  I  bravely  coun¬ 
tered,  though  my  reply  was  thoroughly  vitiated  by  the 
crimson  blush  of  the  deliberate  lie  that  instantly  came 
sweeping  into  my  countenance. 

“I  happen  to  be  one  of  the  favored  mortals  endowed 
with  the  faculty  of  remembering  for  the  longest  the 
features  of  persons  previously  met,”  she  announced  for 
my  information.  “I  must  insist  to  have  your  truthful 
version  of  what  has  brought  you  here  to-night  with  a 
different  story  to  excuse  your  practice  of  professional 
beggary.” 

This  order  was  enunciated  with  such  an  explicit  tone 
of  command,  that  I  was  given  no  loophole  for  a  fur- 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


55 


ther  subterfuge  to  prevail.  Although  virtually  driven 
to  bay,  I  resorted  to  hemming  and  hawing  and  pouting 
and  blustering  to  avoid  the  trying  ordeal  she  had  de¬ 
manded,  Failing  to  move  me  to  an  immediate  admis¬ 
sion  of  my  guilt  the  lady  diplomatically  changed  her 
tart  measure  of  obtaining  my  self-denunciation  to 
where  she  actually  pleaded  for  permission  to  enter  in 
my  complete  confidence.  Soon  her  repeated,  unselfish 
appeals  carried  me  where  I  could  no  longer  muster  the 
extreme  courage  that  was  required  to  further  refuse 
a  complete  airing  of  the  supreme  fault  that  had  driven 
me  roving  v/ithout  lien  and  letup  up  and  down  the  wide 
world. 

‘‘I  know,  and  my  heart  tells  me  this,  that  some¬ 
where  there  is  a  to-be-pitied  mother  praying  for  the 
safe  return  of  you,  her  wayward  son,”  she  rasped  half- 
choked  with  genuine  compassion  at  the  amazing  re¬ 
view  of  my  sordid  career  I  had  furnished  her. 

Then  she  elected  to  treat  me  to  a  merciless  lecture 
on  my  wrong-doing  and  though  outwardly  I  received 
the  scathing  arraignment  in  apparently  callous  indif¬ 
ference,  inwardly  it  seemed  as  if  for  this  momentous 
purpose  common  terrestrial  distances  had  been  instan¬ 
taneously  abrogated  to  where  the  souls  of  the  two 
mothers — she,  who  v/as  bending  over  me  where  I  was 
sitting  cowering  in  the  kitchen  chair,  and  the  other,  the 
suifering  mother  of  mine — had  become  miraculously 
cemented  into  one  inseparable  unit  which  now  gave 
vent  to  pangs  of  infinite  woe  in  the  scorching  repri¬ 
mand  welling  from  the  lips  of  the  Samaritan  of  Mat- 
toon. 

When  finally  the  lady  had  exhausted^  her  power  oi 
admonition,  I  meekly  told  how  times  innumerable  1 
had  manfully  striven,  though  unsuccessfully,  to  di¬ 
vorce  myself  from  the  Road.  Leaving  matters  rest¬ 
ing  on  merits,  in  the  goodness  of  her  heart,  the  woman 


56  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i, 

exacted  a  pledge  that  whenever  my  route  of  hoboing 
lay  by  Mattoon,  I  would  call  at  her  residence.  Only 
when  I  had  agreed  in  full  faith  to  comply  with  this 
unheard-of  invitation  to  a  human  derelict,  was  I  pro¬ 
vided  with  the  -meal  which,  almost  providentially,  had 
brought  me  to  her  mansion.  On  taking  my  leave,  I 
was  presented  with  an  acceptable  assortment  of  wear 
selected  from  the  wardrobe  of  the  four  sons  of  the 
mistress  of  the  house,  and  a  dollar  on  my  way,  while 
she  feelingly  remarked:  ^‘That  which  I  have  done  for 
you  this  day,  my  boy,  most  assuredly  in  spirit  was  do¬ 
nated  by  your  unfortunate  mother.” 

_  On  arriving  in  the  street,  I  ascertained  of  passing 
citizens  that  the  name  of  my  benefactress  was  Mrs. 
Louis  Katz.  '  * 

While  engaged  on  another  journey  through  Mattoon 
I  fulfilled  the  promise  of  the  preceding  trip.  When  I 
vms  admitted  to  her  residence,  good  Mrs.  Katz  fur¬ 
nished  a  most  bounteous  meal,  some  garments  dis¬ 
carded  by  her  sons,  another  small  sum  of  money  and, 
at  the  minute  of  my  departure,  a  letter.  I  was  as¬ 
tonished  to  the  limit,  to  see  that  the  address  of  the 
letter  bore  my  correct  name— which  latter  I  had  ever 
endeavored  to  shield  as  a  sacred  secret  from  the  world- 
at-large,  which  custom  was  about  the  only,  redeeming 
feature  practiced  by  the  hoboes.  To  still  further  net¬ 
tle  my  surprise,  the  post  office  cancellation  mark  show¬ 
ed  the  missive  to  have  been  mailed  at  San  Francisco, 
the  city  of  my  birth.  ^ 

^Vhen  I  searcned  the  countenance  of  my  hostess  for 
iHiormation  explaining  the  presence  of  the  strange  let¬ 
ter,  she  cheerily  confessed  that  she  had  taken  a  fair 
aavantage  of  a  casual  remark  I  had  dropped  on  my 
preceding  visit  to  Mattoon.  Engaging  the  service  of  a 
renowned  detective  agency  with  office  in  San  Francis¬ 
co,  this  concern  had  ordered  its  astute  operatives  to 


Here  and  There  With  'A-No.  'i  S7j 

apply  the  lead  I  had  inadvertently  furnished  to  stage  a 
thorough  canvass  of  the  residence  districts  of  that 
city.  The  sleuths  had  soon  annotated  all  homes  where 
sons  were  reported  as  missing  the  approximate  term  of 
years  I  had  mentioned  to  Mrs.  Katz  as  having  been 
fettered  to  the  Koad.  By  the  usual  process  of  elimina¬ 
tion  of  unproductive  leads,  finally,  my  benefactress  in 
faraway  Illinois  was  placed  in  communication  with  my 
people.  As  an  outcome  of  the  ensuing  correspondence, 
the  letter  I  now  beheld  was  forwarded  in  the  care  of 
Mrs.  Katz.  It  was  the  first  word,  in  writing  or  other¬ 
wise,  I  had  received  from  home,  as  with  a  truly  boyish 
thoughtlessness  I  had  resigned  myself  to  the  belief 
that  by  conscientiously  abstaining  from  communicat¬ 
ing  with  my  folks,  the  latter  would  be  saved  from  a 
still  further  aggravation  of  their  great  sorrow. 

The  contents  of  the  letter  proved  to  be  a  most  soul- 
rending  plea  of  a  thoroughly  broken-hearted  mother 
that  her  boy,  her  only  child,  at  that,  might  reform  from 
his  dreadful  error  and  disgrace.  When  I  had  finished 
with  the  reading  of  the  missive,  Mrs.  Katz,  by  employ¬ 
ing  an  infinite  tact  to  obtain  her  laudable  object,  gained 
her  wish  in  the  matter  of  having  me  pen,  then  and 
there  in  her  presence,  a  letter  in  reply  to  the  lines  from 
home,  as  she  insisted  that  she  desired  to  personally 
attend  to  its  proper  posting  in  the  mails. 

In  the  course  of  the  years  which  followed,  I  ofttimes 
called  at  the  house  of  Mrs.  Louis  Katz.  This  journey¬ 
ing  to  Mattoon  soon  mounted  to  an  obligation  I  deemed 
on  par  with  the  sacred  pilgrimage  executed  by  ortho¬ 
dox  Mohammedans  to  their  holy  Mecca  and  Medina. 
There  always  was  a  letter  or  two  awaiting  my  arrival. 
Then  came  the  sad  day  when  mother  wrote  that  father 
had  gone  to  his  eternal  reward.  Soon  after  this  be¬ 
reavement,  there  were  to  be  no  further  pitiful  en¬ 
treaties  by  mother  dear,  for  I  received  a  brief  notifica- 


I 


! 


58  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

tion  by  the  attorney  of  our  family  announcing  her  de¬ 
mise.  Thus  forever  terminated  was  the  exquisite  mar-  I 
tyrdom  she  had  suffered  all  her  living  days — as  this  j 
was  the  undeserved  penalty  which  befell  so  many  other  i 
good  parents  whose  sons  were  allowed  to  hobo  by  the  ; 
police  everywhere,  until  they  were  hopelessly  ensnared 
in  the  toils  of  the  Koad,  the  veritable  abyss  of  the 
Social  Pit. 

In  accordance  with  a  consent  I  had  previously  re¬ 
corded  over  my  signature,  my  parental  estate  was  dis¬ 
tributed  among  public  charities  worthy  of  support. 
The  funds  concerned  in  this  division  amounted  to  but  j 
a  merest  fraction  of  the  original  fortune,  as  vast  sums 
were  expended  on  a  ceaseless  search  instituted  by  my 
parents  in  their  anxiety  to  gain  even  a  least  trace  of  ' 
the  wayward  who  so  heartlessly  had  blasted  their  en¬ 
joyment  of  life.  AND  LET  THIS,  MY  SELF-AE-  ,| 
RAIGNMENT  BECOME  AN  EVERLASTING  WARN-  '1 
ING  TO  OTHER  THOUGHTLESS  YOUTHS  BEFORE 
THEY,  TOO,  HAVE  SPOILED  THEIR  FUTURE  AND 
THAT  OF  THEIR  TO-BE-PITIED  PARENTS  THEY 
HAD  COME  TO  HONOR  AND  OBEY  AND  NOT  TO 
DISGRACE. 

I  retained  the  steadfast  friendship  of  Mrs.  Louis  Katz, 
v/ho,  as  ever,  offered  an  asylum  whenever  my  route  of 
roughing  led  through  hobo-hostile  Mattoon.  Then  ap¬ 
proached  the  hour  when  the  best  girl  on  earth,  almost 
divinely  heroic  in  her  self-sacrifice,  released  me,  her 
husband — from  the  yoke  of  the  Wanderpath.  But 
even  to  this  day,  when  to  me,  personally,  my  check¬ 
ered  past  seemed  to  have  assumed  the  station  of  an 
ugly  nightmare,  I  occasionally  have  a  letter  by  Mrs.  , 
Louis  Katz,  whom  I  shall  always  hold  in  gratitude  so 
profound  as  to  be  entirely  beyond  the  scope  of  ex- 
pressing  its  unbounded  dimensions  in  mere  words. 

V 

'.'1 

t’ 


1 


Here  and  There  With  'A-No.'i  59 

CHAPTER  IV. 

'As  the  Voice  from  the  Tomb. 


HOW  would  you,  dear  reader,  act  affected  on  the 
uncanny  receipt  of  a  letter  penned  by  a  person 
you  had  believed  dead  and  buried  all  of  thirty 
long  years  ?  Again,  might  even  the  most  virile  of  tal¬ 
ented  imaginations  construe  and  then  understandingly 
describe  the  state  of  your  personal  emotions  when, 
additionally,  the  writer  of  such  an  unusual  missive  was 
largely  responsible  that  for  more  than  a  quarter  cen¬ 
tury  you  were  condemned  to  lead  the  cursed  existence 
which  is  that  of  the  devotee  of  the  Road  ? 

It  was  just  such  an  ultra-strange  occurrence  which 
recently  befell  your  author,  who  in  his  initial  literary 
production,  '‘Life  and  Adventures  of  A-No.  1,”  ex¬ 
plained  how  he,  then  a  youngster  in  knee  breeches, 
was  induced  by  yarns  of  “Rock  Candy  Mountains’^ 
and  other  threadbare  fables  exciting  youthful  irre¬ 
sponsibility,  to  become  the  “Road  Kid”  of  “New  Or¬ 
leans  Frenchy.”  This  character  professionally  was 
both  tramp  and  criminal.  In  the  latter  classification 
he  was  affiliated  with  that  most  dangerous  viper  in 
human  guise  prowling  in  the  dead  of  the  night — the 
burglar. 

Faithfully  recording  my  experiences  with  this  genius 
of  evil,  I  concluded  with  our  leave-taking  at  Pensa¬ 
cola.  This  was  in  the  eighteen-eighties.  Since  then  I 
had  neither  a  word  by  Frenchy  nor  had  ever  again  en¬ 
countered  his  moniker.  Therefore,  I  had  every  occa¬ 
sion  to  place  complete  credence  in  the  plausible  report 


60 


Here  and  There  With  'A-No.% 

circulating  among  the  wandering  fraternity  to  the 
effect  that  my  erstwhile  tutor  in  the  ways  of  wrong¬ 
doing  had  finally  met  with  a  natural  death  while  under¬ 
going  life  imprisonment  in  the  state  penitentiary  of 
Michigan. 

Considering  the  mentions  foregoing,  the  reader 
should  all  the  better  appreciate  the  immensity  of  my 
amazement  when  there  arrived  a  memorandum  of  in¬ 
quiry  in  the  writing  and  over  the  signature  of  my  hobo¬ 
ing  mate  of  long-ago,  whose  very  existence  I  had  quite 
forgotten.  In  answer  to  my  reply,  there  soon  ensued 
a  lively  interchange  of  correspondence  pregnant  with 
personal  confidences.  In  due  time  our  letter-writing 
had  progressed  to  the  point  where  my  former  mentor 
wrote  so  exceedingly  interesting  on  his  career  subse¬ 
quent  to  our  parting  of  ways  in  Florida,  that  I  ob¬ 
tained  his  permission  to  accord  publicity  to  the  more 
entertaining  passages  in  his  letters. 

Forsooth,  the  reader  should  considerately  abstain 
from  forming  a  hasty  judgment  in  the  matter  of  the 
propriety  of  publishing  the  unvarnished  revelations 
rendered  by  Frenchy  while  telling  of  his  personal  ex¬ 
ploits,  for  the  sender  of  the  correspondence  not  only 
reformed  from  his  crooked  ways  many  years  ago,  but 
also  is  rated  a  highly  respectable  citizen  in  his  present 
place  of  residence. 

Father,  an  unbiased  study  of  the  almost  incredible 
iniquities  exposed  by  Frenchy  might  prove  of  serious 
and  absorbing  concern  to  every  reputable  citizen.  For 
thus  the  latter  will  be  placed  on  proper  guard  and  self¬ 
protection  against  being  likewise  mulcted  in  simply 
prodigious  sums  which,  more  or  less  submerged  in 
the  schemes  of  indirect  taxation,  after  ail,  must  be  met 
by  innocent  folks. 


,  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


6V 


THE  FIRST  LETTER 


Scouting  by  Mail 


San  Diego,  Cal.,  December  7,  1919. 

The  A-No.  1  Publishing  Company, 

Erie,  Pa. 

Sirs : — 

Kindly  inform  the  undersigned  of  a  means  to  open 
communication  with  the  author  of  the  ^‘A-No.  1 
Tramplife  Series,”  as  I  have  important  matters  to  call 
to  his  personal  attention. 

Yours  truly, 

RAOUL  VOLEUR. 


No.  335  Spencer  Avenue. 


62 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  X 


THE  SECOND  LETTER 


From  the  Past  to  the  Present 


San  Diego,  Cal.,  Dec.  16,  1919.; 
Dear  Pal  of  Thirty  Years  ago: — 

To-day  received  your  answer  to  my  recent  letter  of 
■inquiry,  introducing  you  as  the  sole  owner  of  the  firm 
publishing  your  literary  productions.  In  response  to 
your  request  for  particulars,  I  shall  explain  what  it 
was  that  had  moved  me  to  obtain  your  address. 

I  am  married  and,  at  that,  most  happily.  One  child, 
a  daughter,  came  to  bless  our  home.  The  girl  is  ap¬ 
proaching  her  seventeenth  birthday  and  will  graduate 
from  high  school  during  the  ensuing  year.  It  was 
three  weeks  ago  that  Doris  was  reading  a  book  which, 
as  this  was  her  wont,  she  had  loaned  at  the  library 
maintained  in  her  school.  While  I  was  scanning  over 
the  contents  of  the  local  evening  daily,  I  heard  her 
casually  remark:  “Oh,  Papa!  This  certainly  is  some 
interesting  story  which  seems  to  have  been  written 
by  a  person  who  traveled  quite  as  extensively  as  you 
have.” 

When  my  daughter  left  the  room,  she  allowed  the 
book  to  remain  on  the  table,  inviting  an  inspection  of 
its  text.  By  the  titlq,  I  ascertained  that  its  author  was 
“A-No.  1,”  whose  books  had  attained  national  popu¬ 
larity  by  the  sheer  oddity  of  their  contents.  Beach¬ 
ing  for  the  volume,  I  allowed  myself  to  finger  through 
its  pages,  when  my  attention  was  attracted  by  the 
headline  of  the  chapter,  “In  Partnership  with  a  Bur¬ 
glar.”  The  description  of  your  initial  ride  astride  a 
v/obbly  brakebeam,  caused  me  to  become  thoroughly 
interested.  When  I  read  about  that  laughable  episode 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  'i  ^3 

at  Rosenbiirg  Junction  in  Texas,  where  you  and  your 
comrade  lugged  off  a  trunk  heavy  with  farm  seed 
brought  in  by  immigrants,  I  truly  began  to  marvel. 
But  when  I  hurried  through  your  tale  of  the  Christ¬ 
mas  adventure  at  Pensacola,  it  required  no  further 
enlightenment  to  have  me  comprehend  that  I  was  read¬ 
ing  an  experience  which  I  vividly  recalled  to  have 
lived  through  in  the  course  of  my  own  existence, 
though  the  affair  was  faithfully  chronicled  by  some 
one  else.  Putting  two  and  two  together,  and  remem¬ 
bering  the  fact  that  once  upon  a  time  I  had  the  com¬ 
pany  of  a  “Road  Kid”  whom  I  had  nicknamed  “A-No.  1 
Kid,”  because  acceptable  predicates  singled  him  out 
from  the  common  run  of  vagranting  lads,  I  surmised, 
as  this  was  to  prove  to  be  a  correct  guess,  that  this 
youth  and  the  author  of  the  book  were  one  and  the 
same  party.  This  induced  me  to  write  for  your  address 
and  to-daj'' — ^bringing  a  most  surprising  climax — ^by 
way  of  the  federal  mail  service,  I  am  holding  a  joyous 
reunion  with  my  former  apprentice  of  the  Road,  to 
whom  throughout  all  these  years,  I  had  not  even  paid 
a  fleeting  thought. 

As  you  might  demand  a  more  conclusive  evidence 
carrying  every  assurance  that  indeed  you  are  dealing 
with  the  proper  person,  I  desire  to  refer  you  to  that 
dark  night  at  the  railroad  bridge  spanning  the  black 
chasm  of  a  deep  arroyo  on  the  Southern  Pacific  a  short 
distance  only  west  of  the  city  of  San  Antonio.  There 
the  sills  of  the  track  crossing  the  bridge  had  been 
placed  so  far  apart  that,  tot  that  you  were,  you  be¬ 
came  quite  panic-stricken  at  the  thought  of  the  risk 
of  slipping  through  the  widely  spaced  railroad  ties  to 
a  watery  grave  in  the  creek  below.  Do  you  recollect 
how  I  solved  the  trouble  by  carrying  you  riding  astride 

my  back  over  the  bridge? 

I,  too,  have  been  moving  since  Pensacola.  There  I 


64 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  x 

managed  to  stage  a  clean  getaway  with  the  treasure 
chest  of  the  sailing  vessel  aboard  of  which  Sailor  Boss 
Davis,  the  mulatto,  had  bound  me  out  as  ship’s  cook. 
I  trailed  your  moniker  along  the  “Florida  Central  & 
Peninsular  Railroad”  to  Orlando.  I  saw  it  last  at  Kis¬ 
simmee,  although  I  went  searching  all  the  way  south¬ 
ward  as  far  as  Tampa  and  then  doubled  back  on  the 
road  to  Jacksonville.  Abandoning  my  futile  search,  I 
took  stowaway  passage  to  New  York  City,  hence  I 
went  a-roaming. 

In  1889,  I  shipped  from  Seattle  to  Skagway  in  Alas¬ 
ka,  where  the  Klondyke  gold  rush  was  at  its  height. 
From  the  coast,  I  “mushed”  inland  to  Lake  Lebarge, 
where  I  constructed  a  flat-bottomed  boat,  which  I 
navigated  down  the  turbulent  Yukon  to  Dawson.  Lin¬ 
gering  here  a  while  to  catch  my  bearings  in  the  strange 
Northland,  I  joined  in  a  stark-mad  midwinter  stam¬ 
pede  to  gold  discoveries  in  the  Porcupine  District.  To 
reach  this  destination  proved  a  feat  worthy  of  the 
mettle  of  any  red-blooded  man.  I  tramped  some  two 
hundred  miles  through  j;he  deep  snows  and  eternal 
night  common  to  the  winter  of  the  desolated  country 
within  the  Arctic  Circle  where  at  that  particular  sea¬ 
son  of  the  year  the  mercury  in  the  thermometer  con¬ 
tinually  hovered  about  fifty  degrees  below  freezing. 

Now  mind  you — I  had  quit  Skagway  with  something 
like  one  hundred  pounds  of  provisions  strapped  to  my 
back.  An  even  year  later  on  I  came  returning  to  this 
port  leading  to  the  icebound  domain  of  the  savage 
North  King,  with  exactly  an  even  hundred  pounds  in 
dead  weight  of  virgin  gold  in  my  money  belt.  Every 
pennyweight  of  this  considerable  fortune  in  precious 
metal  was  earned  by  honest  endeavor  on  my  part.  Dur¬ 
ing  that  most  memorable  winter  in  the  Arctic  section, 
all  the  argonauts  marooned  there  were  compelled  to 
battle  with  death  from  starvation  because  of  a  short- 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


65 


Boating  tlie  turbulent  Yukon 


66 


Here  and  There  With  'A-No/i 

age  of  provender.  Strong  men  died  like  poisoned  flies 
— until  with  the  re-opening  of  river  navigation  fresh 
provisions  could  be  sent  in  for  the  relief  of  those  who 
had  lived  through  the  terrible  ordeal,  where  coarse 
grub  had  become  so  valuable  a  substance  that  for  the 
time  being  the  gold  that  had  drawn  the  fortune  hunt¬ 
ers  to  the  silent  North  Country  lost  every  value. 

Prior  to  my  second  trip  into  Skagway,  I  had  always 
considered  the  paying  for  transportation  in  the  esti¬ 
mate  of  an  unpardonable  sin.  By  the  dangerous 
“Brakebeam  Koute”  I  had  crisscrossed  the  Americas 
by  every  rail  line  available,  even  including  the  vaunted 
Panama  Eailroad.  Common  occurrences  for  me  were 
stowaway  passages  on  steamers  plying  the  Seven  Seas. 
On  all  these  journeys  I  was  amply  supplied  with  finan¬ 
cial  funds.  It  was  pure  cussedness  that  had  me  refuse 
to  purchase  the  tickets  required,  for  it  was  an  ordinary 
happening  for  me  to  carry  as  high  as  five  hundred  dol¬ 
lars  “planted’’  in  my  apparel. 

But  with  the  cashing  in  of  the  many  thousands  of 
dollars’  worth  of  gold  I  had  brought  out  of  Alaska, 
there  came  to  me  a  most  decided  change  in  the  point 
of  view  I  had  heretofore  taken  of  my  manner  of  trav¬ 
eling.  Honestly  and  sincerely,  I  candidly  believe  that 
since  Alaska  I  have  paid  out  more  for  actual  cash  fares 
by  rail  and  water  and  otherwise,  that  this  easily  totals 
up  the  sum  of  which  I  had  previously  trimmed  the  pub¬ 
lic  carriers.  * 

Departing  from  Skagway  by  first-cabin  passage  to 
Seattle,  thence  I  traveled  by  Pullman  to  New  York. 
Really,  I  rode  planked  down  in  a  softly  plushed  seat 
and  did  my  level  best  to  behave  like  a  genuine  multi¬ 
millionaire.  Truly,  it  did  me  a  world  of  good  to  see 
how  the  colored  Pullman  porters  hopped  about  to  grab 
the  tips  I  had  to  bestow  for  any  service  rendered. 
From  New  York  City  I  crossed  the  Atlantic  on  the 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  67 

“St.  Louis”  bent  on  a  tour  of  Europe.  Once  across,  I 
had  a  change  of  mind,  when  I  decided  that  San  Fran¬ 
cisco  would  prove  an  acceptable  locality  for  my  perma¬ 
nent  residence.  Therefore,  I  re-crossed  aboard  the 
“Savoie”  of  the  French  Line.  Reaching  shore,  I  con¬ 
tinued  by  rail  via  Montreal  and  the  “Imperial  Lim¬ 
ited”  of  the  Canadian  Pacific  Railway,  to  transfer  at 
Vancouver  by  coastwise  steamship  for  San  Francisco. 
The  next  journey  oversea  was  made  on  the  “Kroon- 
land”  of  the  Red  Star  Service  and  on  the  return  trip 
I  boarded  a  palatial  boat  of  the  Holland-American 
company. 

All  these  trips  and  ever  so  many  others  were  scored 
in  the  first  cabin— by  me  who  but  some  twenty  years 
before  had  come  to  America  in  the  steerage  of  a  French 
freighter. 

Landing  from  my  first  Alaska-France  voyage  at 
Cherbourg,  I  took  unto  myself  as  wife  a  winsome  lass 
of  but  sixteen  summers.  Being  a  stranger  in  France, 
and,  probably,  of  a  somewhat  bashful  disposition,  I  had 
recourse  to  a  matrimonial  bureau  that  published  a 
pamphlet  for  the  express  purpose  of  placing  marriage 
within  the  ready  reach  of  parties  interested.  On  the 
very  first  day  of  its  publication,  my  advertisement 
netted  fifty-six  replies.  The  girl  I  choose  was  em¬ 
ployed  at  overcasting  button  holes  at  a  dressmakers, 
where  she  earned  not  above  ten  cents  daily  working 
fourteen  long  hours.  She  wore  wooden  clogs  and  cared 
not  for  hat  covering.  She  promised  to  be  faithful  to 
her  vow  of  marriage  she  conferred  on  a  total  stranger 
offering  her  an  American  home  and  fireside  and,  con¬ 
nectedly,  a  release  from  the  miserable  station  of  a 
European  slave  of  industry.  I  togged  her  out  in  great 
style  and  then  went  sightseeing  through  Euiope.  n 
the  end,  we  drifted  across  to  California,  where  we  set¬ 
tled  to  raise  our  daughter,  who  I  mentioned  as  being  the 


68  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

original  cause  of  our  meeting  again,  though  by  cor¬ 
respondence,  after  all  these  years  and  years. 

While  I  am  in  the  mood  of  confessing,  let  me  say, 
that  I  am  exceedingly  sorry  to  admit  that  since  Pen¬ 
sacola,  I  was  compelled  to  serve  another  brief  “jolt”  in 
San  Quentin,  which  is  the  official  location  of  the  state 
penitentiary  of  California. 

The  first  time  I  came  away  from  this  penal  institu¬ 
tion,  I  was  a  “cadet”  of  crime  and  on  the  following  in¬ 
stance,  an  event  that  happened  some  twenty  years  ago, 
I  had  gained  such  a  thorough  acquaintance  with  the 
workings  of  the  ways  of  the  underworld,  that  I  blos¬ 
somed  forth  immediately  after  my  release— please,  try 
to  guess  the  vocation  I  am  about  to  mention — ^as  a 
bonafide  member  of  the  police  department  of  the  city 
of  San  Francisco.  Can  you  beat  this  for  a  most  con¬ 
trary  transfer  which  sent  me  from  the  cell  of  the  felon 
right  smack  to  the  task  of  the  legal  upholder  of  the 
mandates  of  Law  and  Order? 

Some  fifteen  years  preceding  the  penning  of  this 
letter  of  to-day,  having  gained  a  nice  nest  egg  against 
the  proverbial  rainy  day,  on  wearying  of  lounging 
about  our  home,  I  repaired  to  the  office  of  Chief  Spec¬ 
ial  Agent  C.  C.  Crowley,  at  that  period  the  head  of  the 
police  force  maintained  by  the  Southern  Pacific  Rail¬ 
road.  I  weighed  two  hundred  pounds  and  was  in  ship¬ 
shape  to  tackle  anything  going.  Crowley,  as  his  name 
proclaimed,  was  an  Irishman.  As  were  so  many  police 
officials  of  that  particular  descent,  he  preferred  his 
countrymen  for  subordinates  in  the  police  service  he 
commanded.  The  first  item  on  the  way,  Crowley  com¬ 
menced  a  quiz  to  ascertain  the  country  of  my  nativity. 
Certainly,  I  was  in  dandy  position  to  meet  his  every 
expectation.  Although  being  a  thoroughbred  French¬ 
man,  the  fact  that  I  happened  to  be  of  pure  Norman 
blood,  gave  me  the  appearance  of  a  person  of  Celtic 


69 


Here  and  There  With  "A-No.  X 

origin  far  more  than  that  commonly  accepted  for  the 
man  of  the  general  ^French  type.  Besides,  I  had  had 
several  months  of  hoboing  in  the  Emerald  Isle.  There, 
and  this  of  necessity  in  the  matter  of  getting  a  fill  of 
food,  I  had  gained  the  peculiar  twang  connected  by 
the  Irish  people  with  their  version  of  the  Eng¬ 
lish  tongue.  My  thorough  ability  to  use  the  rich 
brogue  of  the  English  dialect  adopted  by  the 
Sons  of  Erin,  came  in  good  stead  on  this  occa¬ 
sion  in  San  Francisco.  Evidently,  Chief  Crowley, 
though  probably  privately,  had  placed  the  circum¬ 
stance  of  men  applying  for  positions  under  him  being 
of  his  own  nativity  above  every  other  regular  qualifi¬ 
cation,  for  only  when  well  satisfied  on  this  score,  he 
asked  to  hear  what,  if  anything,  I  knew  of  railroading 
and  the  pursuit  of  criminals.  I  acted  most  innocent  of 
such  education  and  expressed  willingness  to  be  taught 
by  him,  personally.  But  while  I  averred  ignorance 
on  both  particulars,  I  had  the  time  of  my  life,  even 
biting  my  lips  so  these  bled  profusely,  to  restrain  my 
emotions  which  urged  me  on  to  shout  full  in  Crowley’s 
face,  that  what  I  did  not  know  of  the  two  knowledges 
he'  had  referred  to  was  not  worth  while  studying  by 
any  sleuth. 

The  interview  concluded  with  my  being  awarded  the 
position  of  a  patrolman  with  the  Southern  Pacific.  The 
ceremony  of  being  sworn  in  as  a  depuy  sheriff  of  Cali¬ 
fornia  followed.  Then  I  was  handed  a  revolver  with 
almost  cannon-like  calibre  of  bore,  the  star  of  my  of¬ 
fice,  a  hefty  mace  and,  finally,  a  railroad  pass  that  per¬ 
mitted  my  scotfree  traveling  aboard  any  train  of  the 
railroad,  which,  forsooth,  heretofore  I  had  hoboed 
more  freely  and  frequently  than  I  had  dared  any  other 
route  in  the  land. 

My  initial  assignment  was  to  patrol  the  police  divi¬ 
sion  reaching  from  Tracy  to  Bakersfield.  The  order 


70 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


called  for  my  “mixing”  with  the  hoboes  for  the  sake 
of  gathering  information  covering  their  “touching” 
the  contents  of  freight  cars  and  the  perpetration  of 
other  depredations.  I  was  told  to  obtain  plenty  of 
pistol  practice  by  perforating  all  stew  tins  and  pans  I 
encountered  on  hand  at  temporarily  abandoned  hobo 
camping  grounds. 

Even  before  his  having  actually  inducted  me  into  my 
new  position,  Chief  Crowley  had  warned  that  there 
must  be  no  grafting  whatever  in  the  service  under  the 
penalty  of  an  instant  and  dishonorable  dismissal  from 
the  police  force  over  which  he  lorded  it  with  a  high 
hand  and,  most  likely,  a  subsequent  prosecution  in  the 
courts  to  the  limit  permissible  under  the  law.  This 
tart  injunction  was  strictly  lived  up  to  until  the  day  I 
“pinched”  a  gent  I  had  discovered  bumming  his  way  on 
the  “Owl,”  the  fast  San  Francisco-Los  Angeles  night 
express.  On  the  way  to  the  city  calaboose  at  Modesto, 
the  fellow  offered  one  hundred  dollars  cash  for  his 
release  from  custody.  Then  I  was  monthly  earning 
seventy-five  dollars  only,  and  even  while  I  was  still 
engaged  in  considering  an  acceptance  or  a  rejection  of 
the  handsome  bribe  for  what  virtually  amounted  to  a 
comparatively  insignificant  favor,  my  man  further 
raised  his  ante  to  a  cool  five  hundred  simoleons.  With¬ 
out  the  least  hesitation  I  called  for  the  coin,  and  gen¬ 
erously  purchased  for  the  stranger  a  ticket  to  his  des¬ 
tination,  which  was  nearby  Sacramento,  the  capital 
city  of  California.  After  that  notable  experience,  with 
me  there  were  no  bounds  observed  to  my  grafting,  as 
I  aimed  to  have  my  pickings  before  the  harvest  might 
be  cut  short  by  a  recall  order  to  headquarters  to  “go 
on  the  carpet”  in  private  audience  with  Chief  Crowley. 

Speaking  of  graft  and  grafting  in  general,  eh! — 
this  reminds  me  of  the  memorable  year  of  1906,  and 
immediately  after  the  virtually  total  destruction  of 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


71 


San  Francisco  by  earthquake  and  the  subsequent  con¬ 
flagration.  I  had  been  employed  as  a  “Special  Officer’’ 
by  one  of  the  fairly  innumerable  dens  of  iniquity  lo¬ 
cated  on  the  “Barbary  Coast, the  infamous  “Red 
Light”  district  of  the  metropolis,  where  during  every 
hour  of  the  twenty-four  of  the  day  was  enacted,  open¬ 
ly  and,  assuredly,  with  the  complete  connivance  of  the 
municipal  authorities,  a  high-carnival  of  almost  in¬ 
credibly  beastly  immoralities,  such  as  in  their  day 
sent  historical  Sodom  and  Gomorrha  down  in  quake  and 
fire  before  the  wrath  of  the  Almighty — as  this  terri¬ 
ble  and  unmistakably  divine  atonement  was  inflicted, 
and  this  too  justly  only,  on  San  Francisco  in  our  day. 

Civic  grafters  had  demanded  and  then  collected  of 
me  two  thousand  dollars  on  a  lease  for  the  term  of  a 
year  of  a  certain  concession  which  under  the  guaran¬ 
tee  of  non-interference  by  the  police  authorities  per¬ 
mitted  the  financial  “trimming”  of  patrons  of  the  Bar¬ 
bary  Coast.  Callously  unmindful  of  their  obligation, 
the  arch-crooks  had  promptly  peddled  the  self-same 
privilege  to  another  offerer  of  a  worthwhile  bribe  and 
then,  again,  to  still  other  parties.  In  the  meanwhiie, 
orders  were  issued  to  the  police  officers  to  prevent  all 
but  the  most  recent  one  of  the  duped  concessionaires 
from  engaging  in  the  “sure-thing”  business  covered 
by  the  nefarious  transaction.  The  bluecoats  were  still 
further  enjoined  to  allow  no  public  outcry  to  prevail, 
as  such  an  exposure  of  the  graft  might  place^  on  their 
personal  guard  prospective  victims  of  the  infamous 
municipal  ring.  To  immensely  aggravate  the  fury  and 
indignation  of  their  prey,  the  double-dealers  refused 
not  only  to  accede  to  a  restitution  of  the  moneys  in¬ 
volved  but  also  to  enter  into  some  sort  of  more  or  less 
equitable  arrangement  whereby  a  partial  refund  might 
be  distributed  to  the  bribe  givers. 

Pretty  soon,  there  arrived  an  excellent  opportuni  y 


/ 


72  '  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

to  avenge  my  wrongs  of  the  corrupt  municipal  ser¬ 
vants.  I  became  affiliated  with  the  Burns  Detective 
Agency  as  an  operative.  This  concern  had  been  called 
in  at  the  expense  of  public  spirited  citizens  to  under¬ 
take  a  thorough  investigation  of  the  almost  incredibly 
bold  municipal  grafting  carried  on  by  Kough,  the  city 
attorney,  and  all  the  other  city  officials,  who  had  come 
in  office  on  a  “Labor  Ticket,”  that  in  due  time  was  to 
become  the  original  pattern  for  the  men  who  brought 
to  ruin  the  mighty  empire  of  Russia  later  on. 

Under  the  direction  of  the  Burns  people,  I  was  called 
into  court  to  be  a  vital  witness  against  the  civic  of¬ 
fenders  whose  dishonorable  tactics  had  all  but  made 
impossible  the  carrying  on  of  legitimate  business  in 
San  Francisco.  I  did  my  share  to  send  the  crooked 
outfit  to  cells  in  San  Quentin. 

Rough,  the  worst  actor,  drew  down  a  term  of  four¬ 
teen  years  at  hard  labor.  Mayor  Schmidt  caught  a 
sentence  of  a  like  term  but  contrived  to  beat  his  case 
on  an  appeal  before  a  friendly  judge  and  lenient 
jury.  The  chief  of  police  v/as  summarily  dismissed 
from  office.  Lesser  grafters  came  away  with  jail 
terms  or  heavy  monetary  penalties  for  having  prosti¬ 
tuted  their  public  oath.  All  in  all — for  the  first  in¬ 
stance  since  the  foundation  of  the  city,  San  Francisco 
received  a  thorough-going  municipal  house-cleaning. 

Although  the  grafters  had  trimmed  me  to  the  tune 
of  two  thousand  dollars,  I  obtained  an  inning  of  rich 
revenge  and  gained  the  satisfaction  of  the  proverbial 
“Last  Laugh.”  Providentially,  almost,  so  it  seemed, 
I  had  been  released  from  San  Quentin  in  good  time  to 
materially  aid  in  dragging  the  civic  criminals  from 
their  soft  public  berths  in  city  hall  and  police  head¬ 
quarters  to  a  sojourn  in  penal  institutions. 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


73 


They  say  in  France: 

“II  n’y  a  pas  de  sotes  metieres; 

II  n’y  a  que  sotes  gens !” 

meaning,  translated  into  English,  that  “Everybody 
gains  his  peculiar  reward.” 

At  this  writing,  I  am  resting  on  easy  street— an 
honorable,  retired  hobo  who,  withal,  confesses  himself 
as  taught  by  practical  experience  that  straightforward 
honesty  is,  absolutely,  the  sole  pursuit  to  win  out  in 
the  long  race  leading  to  complete  contentment  in  life. 

Am  rather  sorry  that  you  reside  so  remote  from  San 
Diego,  otherwise  would  have  liked  to  look  you  up  for  a 
personal  interview,  where  within  a  few  minutes*  con¬ 
versation  one  might  intelligently  and  accurately  ex¬ 
plain  more,  by  far,  than  in  the  hours  I  have  devoted 
now  on  the  construction  on  this  unwieldy  letter. 

Yours  truly, 

FRENCHY. 


74 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.X 


THE  THIRD  LETTER 
Straying  Beyond  the  Narrow  Path 


_  T’l  •  j  San  Diego,  Cal.,  Jan.  1,  1920. 

Dear  Friend: — 

Received  your  letter  penned  on  Christmas  Day,  and 
I  hasten  to  make  amends  in  the  matter  of  having  quite 
overlooked  to  bid  you  and  yours  the  compliments  of 
the  holiday  season.  Herewith,  I  express  the  hope  that 
you  folks  may  have  had  turkey  bird  in  quantity  as 
plentiful  as  you  and  I  had  this  treat  at  Pensacola. 

Please  excuse  the  uncouth  length  of  my  recent  com¬ 
munication.  Then  I  happened  to  be  just  in  the  right 
mood  to  mail  such  a  long  epistle,  as  I  became  aware 
that  in  your  person  I  had  found,  at  last,  somebody  who 
possibly  might  appreciate  revelations  concerning  my 
strange  adventuring.  This  is  something  my  dear  wife 
and  daughter  have  quite  failed  to  comprehend  all  these 
years,  as  to  them  the  scant  bits  of  insight  into  my 
queer  career  I  casually  exposed,  have  had  the  unpleas¬ 
ant  effect  to  only  vastly  more  increase  their  rising  sus¬ 
picion  that  everything  is  not  exactly  as  it  should  be 
with  my  antecedents. 

As  I  had  previously  mentioned,  I  am  now  a  solid 
and  highly  respected  citizen  of  San  Diego.  But  there 
was  another  day  when  I  was  ruminating  at  the  very 
bottom  of  the  social  pit.  And,  truly,  I  have  learned 
some  of  the  roughest  of  lessons  to  be  studied  in  the 
“University  of  Hard  Knocks.”  When  but  a  mere  lad,  I 
served  six  ye^rs  in  the  apprenticeship  of  seafaring.  For 
a  long  stretch  I  v/as  a  cabin  boy — the  dog  of  the  ship. 
Maltreatment  of  a  most  revolting  character  was  my 
daily  fare.  The  “Cat-o’Nine-Tails”  was  ever  hung 
handy  for  brutal  action  on  my  bare  back,  already  sore¬ 
ly  bruised  by  bootings  and  cuffings  administered  by  the 


75 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

crew,  From  ship  master  to  mates  and  on  down  the 
tally  to  the  riffraff  in  the  galley  of  the  cook,  all  delight¬ 
ed  to  take  whacks  at  poor  me  whenever  a  least  oppor¬ 
tunity  was  offered  to  indulge  in  this  entertainment  that 
broke  the  monotony  of  existence  common  aboard  sail¬ 
ing  vessels  engaged  in  extended  sea  voyages. 

Wherever  I  was  paid  off  or  deserted  the  ship  for  the 
shore,  the  bosses  of  the  sailor  boarding  houses  who 
had  in  their  control  the  hiring  of  the  help  for  the  ship¬ 
ping  riding  at  anchor  in  the  harbor,  sequestered  the 
larger  portion  of  my  withal  pitifully  small  wage  long 
in  advance  of  my  having  rightfully  earned  the  stipend, 
to  richly  compensate  themselves  for  the  indifferent 
care  I  had  received  at  the  boarding  house  and  the 
‘‘trouble”  it  had  brought  them  to  see  me  “signed  up” 
with  another  captain.  Finally,  forsaking  the  thankless 
calling  of  the  sea,  I  turned  to  farming.  There,  too,  I 
ran  into  unusual  quarters.  Quite  often  we  agricul¬ 
tural  laborers  were  meted  out  treatment  worse  than 
that  accorded  to  dumb  beasts  of  burden.  I  do  recall 
an  excellent  example — over  in  the  rich  Napa  Valley  of 
California.  I  toiled  for  a, rancher  so  miserly  that  on 
every  Saturday  afternoon  he  paid  off  and  then  dis¬ 
charged  his  help.  This  saved  him  the  expense  of  their 
keep  over  Sunday.  Bright  and  early  Monday  morning 
he  re-hired  the  same  crew. 

As  I  was  a  guideless  and  guileless  youth  cast  adrift 
on  a  foreign  shore,  all  the  fierce  knocks  administered 
by  the  honest  life  of  the  masses  struck  home  with 
simply  appalling  result.  I  became  an  associate  of 
people  who  considered  the  commission  of  sin  in  the 
light  of  a  pardonable  sequence  of  the  fearful  abuse  of 
confidence  they  had  suffered  while  abiding  by  law  and 
order.  Again  extending  to  you  and  your  loved  ones  the 
good  wishes  of  the  Christmas  tide,  I  remain, 

Yours  faithfully,  FBENCHY. 


76 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  X 


THE  FOURTH  LETTER 


The  Reign  of  Demon  Rum 


San  Die^o,  Cal.,  Jan.  14,  1920. 

Dear  A-No.  1: — 

Your  reply  to  my  letter  of  the  first  of  the  New  Year 
contained  an  urgent  summons  for  a  more  detailed  ex¬ 
planation  of  the  vicious  irregularities  practiced  by  the 
municipal  government  of  San  Francisco. 

Reaching  back  into  my  personal  annals,  you  might 
recall  that  I  confessed  to  having  been  confined  behind 
the  walls  of  San  Quentin,  doing  a  term  of  two  years. 
I  had  drawn  this  penalty  for  having  inspected  the  con¬ 
tents  of  the  pockets  of  a  foreman  and  five  Chinese  la¬ 
borers  of  a  crew  employed  on  railroad  track  repair  and 
whom  I  had  encountered  traveling  aboard  a  hand  car 
on  a  tour  of  inspection  over  the  track  section  placed  in 
their  charge. 

As  I  was  apprehended  without  funds,  when  the  case 
was  called  to  trial,  the  court  ordered  a  lawyer  to  care 
for  my  defense.  Then  it  was  the  time  when  through¬ 
out  the  country  of  the  Far- West  the  citizens  began  to 
agitate  against  the  unrestricted  importation  of  Asiatic 
labor.  Addressing  the  jury,  my  attorney  referred  to 
the  fact  that  had  it  not  been  for  the  Orientals,  I  and 
other  toilers  might  be  earning  an  honorable  livelihood. 
He  followed  this  line  of  appeal  with  a  plea  for  extreme 
leniency.  He  did  his  job  so  thoroughly,  that  I  was 
sent  away  to  San  Quentin  under  the  minimum  pun¬ 
ishment  assessed  by  law  against  highway  agents. 

While  I  underwent  detention  in  the  state  peniten¬ 
tiary,  several  matters  there  struck  me  as  being  far 
out  of  sorts.  The  most  dangerous  ones  of  an  aggre- 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


77 


The  more  dangerous  a  criminal,  the  easier  his  task  in  the 

penitentiary. 


78 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

gation  of  thousands  of  criminals  collected  behind  the 
bars  of  the  penal  institution  enjoyed  the  privilege 
of  the  softest  berths  at  the  distribution  of  the  warden. 
There  was  “Black  Bart.”  This  fellow  had  gained  a 
large  measure  of  notoriety  by  the  custom  that  while 
he  professionally  robbed  stage  coaches,  he  distin¬ 
guished  himself  by  courteous  treatment  of  his  victims. 
For  the  longest  time  he  evaded  all  traps  and  snares 
laid  for  his  capture,  and  the  latter  was  only  accom¬ 
plished  by  a  merest  windfall  on  the  side  of  his  pur¬ 
suers  who  were  spurned  on  in  their  eiforts  by  a  heavy 
reward.  Bart  was  let  off  easy  by  the  courts,  being 
given  but  six  years  at  “hard  labor”  in  San  Quentin. 
There,  forsooth,  his  task  turned  out  to  be  a  soft  clerk¬ 
ship  in  the  prison  pharmacy.  Improving  a  rich  oppor¬ 
tunity,  he  went  in  for  trafficking  whiskey  and  narcotics 
to  other  convicts  at  prices  by  the  sip  and  pinch  that  no 
outside  profiteer  would  have  dared  to  charge  by  the 
quart  and  pound.  During  his  leisure  time,  and  the 
latter  comprised  almost  every  minute  of  his  waking 
hours,  the  highway  robber  peacocked  back  and  forth 
in  front  of  the  penitentiary  hospital — he  attired  in 
fancy  vesting  and  frock  coat  of  fashionable  tailoring. 
The  only  concession  he  allowed  to  prevail  to  indicate 
his  status  of  a  prisoner  of  the  state  were  the  regula¬ 
tion  trousers  he  wore.  But  even  this  garment  had 
been  altered  by  re-dying  with  a  tint  so  neutral  that  the 
original  zebra  striping  was  scarcely  to  be  noted. 

Jimmy  Hope  had  charge  of  steam  laundry  at  San 
Quentin.  There  he  gathered  a  lucrative  income  by 
compelling  the  laundry  force  to  do  “extras”  not  only 
for  the  families  of  the  guards  but  likewise  for  resi¬ 
dents  beyond  the  walls.  And  what  was  the  worthy 
pedigree  that  had  carried  Jimmy  Hope  to  having  the 
right  of  way  over  his  fellow  felons  in  the  matter  of 
becoming  a  favorite  with  the  powers?  Jimmy  Hope, 


79 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

a  professional  cracksman,  was  caught  in  San  Francisco 
in  the  act  of  tunneling  beneath  Montgomery  Street  to¬ 
wards  the  money  vault  of  one  of  the  richest  of  the  nu¬ 
merous  banking  houses  located  in  this,  the  Wall  Street 
of  the  Pacific  slope. 

The  more  detestable  the  crime  of  the  lawbreaker,  the 
less  his  penalty  in  the  courts  and  the  greater  his  stran¬ 
glehold  on  the  privileges  on  landing  in  the  peniten¬ 
tary. 

On  finishing  with  my  latest  jolt,  I  arrived  by  steam¬ 
boat  in  San  Francisco  where  I  chanced  to  drift  into 
nearby  Pacific  Street  at  the  location  of  the  “Barbary 
Coast,”  the  most  notorious  “Red  Light”  district  of  the 
American  continent.  I  patronized  a  lunch  room,  where 
I  enjoyed  my  first  civilized  meal  after  feasting  on  fare 
furnished  by  the  authorities  during  the  two  years,  less 
the  “good  time  allowance”  for  exemplary  behavior,  I 
served  punishment. 

Returning  to  the  sidewalk,  I  crossed  the  street  to 
the  “Olympia,”  a  waterfront  resort,  having  a  saloon 
placed  in  the  forepart  of  a  large  hall,  the  rear  section 
of  which  was  occupied  by  a  dance  floor.  In  the  latter 
at  small  tables  patrons  of  the  dive  were  provided  with 
liquid  refreshments  by  buxom  barmaids  who  received 
a  percentage  on  the  business  they  created  by  dancing 
with  the  visitors  who  were  induced  to  squander  their 
wherewithal.  Besides  this  percentage,  the  painted 
harlots  of  the  dance  hall  had  the  privilege  to  retain  all 
cash  and  valuables  they  pilfered  from  the  pockets  of 
their  prey. 

Stepping  before  the  counter  of  the  bar  room  of  the 
^‘Olympia,”  I  ordered  a  glass  of  beer.  This  I  drank  at 
ease,  while  I  endeavored  to  gain  my  bearings  beyond 
the  gates  of  the  penal  quarters  whence  I  had  departed 
that  morning  only.  There  was  a  motley  crowd  in  the 


80  Here  and  There  With  'A~No.  'i 

place.  Marines  on  their  journey  to  and  from  the  Phil¬ 
ippines  and  other  trans-Pacific  destinations.  Soldiers 
from  the  forts  bristling  the  hills  surrounding  the 
Golden  Gate,  the  entrance  to  the  Bay  of  San  Francis¬ 
co.  Sailors  from  warships  and  other  shipping,  repre¬ 
senting  almost  every  seafaring  nation  of  the  universe. 
Longshoremen  and  other  grades  of  skilled  and  un¬ 
skilled  labor  employed  in  the  harbor.  Something  like 
fifty  men  were  crowding  at  the  bar  counter,  behind 
which  three  barkeepers  were  kept  on  the  jump  dis¬ 
pensing  alcoholic  concoctions,  round  on  round. 

Of  a  sudden,  a  soldier  and  a  marine  came  to  blows 
on  the  spur  of  an  argument.  Within  another  moment 
the  bar  room  appeared  converted  into  a  battlefield,  for 
all  the  drinkers  promptly  took  sides.  The  quarrel  soon 
had  passed  to  the  stage  of  a  general  melee,  and  in  their 
mounting  passions,  the  combatants  soon  forgot  to  dis¬ 
criminate  between  friend  and  foe.  When  bare  fists 
proved  too  ineffectual  to  administer  serious  harm,  the 
maudlin  semi-savages  resorted  to  chairs,  bottles  and 
other  dangerous  weapons  to  attack  anybody  within 
reach.  Even  the  wenches  employed  in  the  dance  hall 
deserted  their  posts  to  share  in  the  scrimmage. 

Although  I  was  a  disinterested  stranger  to  the 
brawl,  soon  my  neutrality  was  challenged  by  an  intox¬ 
icated  sailor  who  directed  a  knockout  punch  at  the 
point  of  my  jaw.  I  countered  the  blow,  and  this  had 
the  effect  to  have  my  assailant  signal  for  assistance  to 
his  fellow  mates.  Assaulted  on  all  sides,  I  stood  off 
the  mob  and  managed  to  pitch  one  of  the  infuriated 
rascals  through  the  swing  doors  at  the  entrance  of  the 
bar  room  and  then  beyond  upon  the  sidewalk  of  the 
thoi  oughf are.  This  performance  brought  a  telephoned 
hurry  call  to  police  headquarters,  but  by  the  time  a 
patrol  wagon  loaded  with  bluecoats  dashed  to  the 
rescue,  I  had  deposited  no  less  than  five  of  my  oppo- 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  .  '81 

nents  either  in  the  street  or  on  the  floor  of  the  bar 
room. 

Instead  of  placing  the  unruly  fellows  under  arrest, 
the  police  officers  simply  endeavored  to  restore  the 
peace.  Before  long,  the  erstwhile  mortal  enemies 
stood  lined  up  before  the  bar  counter,  there  regaling 
each  other  and  everybody,  ii^cluding  the  policemen,  to 
drinks  and  cigars.  A  police  surgeon  who  had  accom¬ 
panied  the  run  of  the  riot  patrol,  looked  after  the  needs 
of  the  lesser  wounded,  and.  Anally,  an  ambulance  carted 
off  the  more  seriously  injured  to  a  hospital. 

During  the  progress  of  the  altercation,  the  owner  of 
the  “Olympia”  had  remained  in  the  rear  of  the  bar 
counter  to  stand  guard  over  the  contents  of  the  cash 
registers.  When  concord  had  returned,  he  beckoned 
me  to  have  a  smoke  at  his  expense,  friendly  remarking 
he  liked  the  way  I  had  handled  the  “skuffs,’'  and  aver¬ 
ring  that  he  stood  in  holy  terror  of  having  murder 
committed  on  liis  property.  This  led  on  to  a  conver¬ 
sation,  in  the  course  of  which  I  mentioned  to  be  in 
search  of  employment.  He  immediately  offered  the 
position  of  special  officer  and  watchman  on  the  prem¬ 
ises.  This  job  chanced  to  be  standing  vacant,  the 
latest  incumbent  having  received  such  a  sound  trounc¬ 
ing  at  the  hands  of  rough  visitors  to  the  “Olympia,” 
that  over  in  the  hospital  he  was  lying  at  the  point 
where  his  chance  of  recovery  was  hanging  in  the  bal¬ 
ance. 

As  the  official  bouncer  of  the  “Olympia”  I  was  to 
receive  a  weekly  salary  of  twenty  dollars,  bed  and 
board.  Besides  this  regular  stipend,  there  was  to  be 
earned  a  bonus  of  fifty  cents  on  every  rowdy  I  threw 
from  the  premises  or  hammered  into  submission.  1 
was  advised  that  it  was  considered  nothing  out  of  thp 
ordinary  when  on  Saturdays,  also  on  Sundays  and  holi¬ 
days,  the  extras  mounted  above  fifteen  dollars,  the 


82  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

resort  being  kept  running  full  blaze  every  hour  of  each 
day  throughout  the  year. 

The  proposition  appeared  to  be  such  an  attractive 
one,  that  I  accepted  the  job  on  the  spot.  Still,  there 
Avere  several  preliminaries  to  be  observed,  so  I  might 
enact  proper  police  authority.  My  new  employer  fur¬ 
nished  a  penned  note  that  I  was  told  to  deliver  to  Chief 
of  Police  Whitman  of  San  Francisco,  This  police  of¬ 
ficial,  in  his  turn,  handed  me  his  calling  card,  and  then 
ordered  that  I  see  the  “boss”  of  the  city. 

When  I  reached  the  address,  the  entrance  to  an  of¬ 
fice  bore  the  legend,  “Abraham  Rough,  City  Attorney.” 
On  opening  the  door,  I  landed  in  a  large  ante-room 
where  two  people,  a  man  and  a  woman,  were  awaiting 
an  audience  with  the  lawyer,  whom  I  had  heard  de¬ 
nounced  by  the  inmates  of  San  Quentin  as  the  arch 
grafter  of  the  century. 

Opening  a  conversation  with  the  waiting  mafl.  He 
frankly  admitted  to  wanting  to  obtain  a  concession 
permitting  his  opening  a  grog  shop  in  a  district  the 
respectable  residents  whereof  had  fought,  tooth  and 
nail,  against  an  introduction  in  their  midst  of  a  rum 
dispensary  with  all  the  evils  attending.  Nevertheless, 
the  scoundrel  presumed  that  it  would  require  a  bribe 
of  around  fifteen  hundred  dollars  to  “turn  the  trick.” 

When  the  saloon  man  was  called  to  hear  his  fate,  I 
quizzed  the  woman.  Rather  talkatively  inclined,  she 
explained  having  drifted  southward  from  the  cities  of 
the  Puget  Sound  country,  where  another  periodical 
reform  wave  had  closed  every  house  of  ill-fame  and 
other  civic  cancers.  She  had  traveled  to  San  Francisco 
to  open  a  bawdy  house  and  was  now  in  the  waiting 
room  to  seek  by  means  of  outright  bribery  an  official 
sanction  for  her  revolting  enterprise.  She  confessed 
that  she  had  been  to  see  Rough  on  the  preceding  day. 
He  had  demanded  a  cash-down  payment  of  twenty-five 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


83 


Frenchy  gave  a  good  account  of  himself. 


84  Here  and  There  With  A-No.i 

hundred  dollars,  to  be  followed  by  a  liberal  weekly 
“sprinkling  of  the  flowers.”  The  latter  expression  sig¬ 
nified  that  she  was  to  donate  to  accredited  ward  heel¬ 
ers  a  weekly  tribute  representing  the  major  portion  of 
the  income  derived  by  her  house  of  assignation.  The 
immoral  wench,  though,  being  of  somewhat  thrifty 
turn,  had  offered  the  attorney  a  compromise  of  fifteen 
hundred  dollars  cash  and  no  further  financial  leeching. 
This  handsome  contribution  was  churly  rejected  by  the 
boss  grafter  who,  angered  by  her  haggling  tactics, 
used  unbridled  language  to  have  her  comprehend  how 
small  he  took  her  offer,  when  the  total  of  “lefthanded” 
revenue  collected  ran^nto  the  millions  of  dollars  an¬ 
nually. 

When  the  scarlet  v/oman  was  asked  to  step  into  the 
inner  room  of  the  office,  for  the  moment  I  felt  like 
vaulting  from  the  waiting  room.  This  odd  sensation 
was  derived  not  only  by  the  deep  loathing  I  experienced 
from  the  awful  arraignments  I  had  heard  pronounced 
against  the  man  at  the  helm  of  government  of  one  of 
the  continent’s  largest  and  most  prosperous  cities  but, 
rather,  I  had  arrived  in  a  flash  at  the  realization  how 
woefully  I  lacked  the  means  to  properly  “cross”  the 
itching  palm  of  the  villain.  Only  a  couple  of  dollars 
remained  with  me  of -the  five  dollars  donated  by  the 
state  of  California  to  every  prisoner  on  his  release  from 
San  Quentin. 

Even  before  I  had  come  to  a  definite  decision  as  to 
whether  or  not  I  would  have  the  courage  to  see  the  mat¬ 
ter  chrough,  I  was  ushered  into  the  presence  of  the 
prince  of  grafters.  Rough  commanded  me  to  occupy 
a  chair  standing  near  his  desk.  I  briefly  outlined  the 
scope  of  my  errand.  The  lawyer  replied  by  stating 
that  to  be  recommended  to  the  “star”  of  a  special  of¬ 
ficer  required  an  advance  settlement  in  the  sum  of  two 
hundred  and  fifty  dollars.  Quite  thunderstruck  by  the 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.i  85 

magnitude  of  the  bribe  extorted  for  a  service  so  tri¬ 
fling,  I  enacted  the  motions  executed  by  a  person  dis¬ 
covering  the  absence  of  his  pocketbook.  Then  I  re¬ 
quested  a  leave  of  absence  until  the  following  day. 

Returning  to  the  “Olympia,”  I  related  the  particu¬ 
lars  of  my  odd  encounter.  On  mentioning  that  I  was 
without  the  means  to  meet  the  bribe,  the  owner  of  the 
resort  advanced  the  amount  required. 

In  the  morning  I  reported  at  the  office  of  the  city 
attorney.  Assuming  a  matter-of-fact  demeanor,  that 
would  have  done  credit  to  an  honest  business  man, 
Rough  pocketed  the  blood  money  I  had  brought.  When 
I  requested  a  written  receipt  acknowledging  the  pay¬ 
ment,  the  rascal  tastily  retorted  that  in  all  San  Fran¬ 
cisco  his  verbal  attest  counted  for  vastly  more  than  any 
bescribbled  scrap  of  paper.  He  made  this  grandstand 
play  of  injured  innocence  in  the  face  of  the  widespread 
public  report  that  he  recognized  no  honor  among 
thieves. 

The  city  attorney  led  the  way  to  police  headquarters. 
There  the  police  commission  happened  to  be  sitting  in 
an  executive  session.  The  clerk  of  the  meeting  was 
ordered  to  give  my  application  an  immediate  reading 
before  all  other  public  business.  Then  Rough  entered 
the  arena  in  my  behalf,  stating  that  he  personally 
knew  me  to  be  a  most  exemplary  citizen,  one  who  spent 
all  his  days  in  the  locality.  At  the  conclusion  of  his 
speech  and  immediately  after  he  had  mentioned  that 
there  was  no  official  objection  to  my  being  granted  the 
appointment,  he  brought  his  fist  banging  to  the  top  o 
the  table  by  which  he  stood.  Probably,  this  was  the 
pre-arranged  signal  of  the  conspirators,  for  without 
deigning  to  even  send  a  glance  in  my  direction,  the 
puppets  of  police  commissioners  forthwith,  and  unan¬ 
imously,  passed  the  ordinance  that  conferred  police 
authority  on  a  stranger  who  had  come  straight  from 


86  Here  and  There  With  'A-No/r 

the  cell  house  of  San  Quentin.  When  I  was  sworn  in, 
there  were  two  other  fellows  to  the  job,  who  had  pur¬ 
chased  promotion  in  the  regular  police  force.  Every¬ 
thing  was  on  sale  for  a  bribe !  Again — ^nothing  was  to 
be  gained  without  villainous  bribery! 

On  entering  on  my  task  as  special  officer,  I  received 
an  initial  and  only  instruction  to  govern  my  activities. 
Irrespectively  as  to  whether  I  considered  myself  as 
acting  with  or  against  justice,  the  interest  of  the 
“Olympia”  was  to  be  protected  under  all  circumstances, 
always. 

Scarcely  had  I  been  on  the  job  an  hour,  than  I  was 
buttonholed  by  a  gent  who  introduced  himself  as  a 
lawyer.  He  promised  to  pay  a  handsome  retainer, 
scaled  in  accordance  with  prospective  earnings,  if  I 
would  agree  to  keep  him  carefully  posted  on  all  arrests 
I  scored  of  people  of  means.  Soon  after  his  departure, 
I  was  called  to  the  telephone  to  converse  with  a  party 
v/ho  was  desirous  of  obtaining  a  “strictly  private”  inter¬ 
view  with  the  “new”  watchman.  He  was  the  doctor 
usually  called  to  the  resort  whenever  there  was  a  case 
on  hand  of  somebody  having  been  wounded  in  one  of 
the  frequent  fracasses  or — other  common  occurrences 
— such  suffering  by  an  attack  of  delirium  tremens 
(snakes) .  The  medico  offered  a  knockdown  of  twenty 
per  cent,  and  an  additional  fifteen  per  cent  was  to  be 
given  on  “rowdies”  I  had  finished  off  in  such  shape 
that  the  ambulance  of  this  particular  physician  had  to 
be  phoned  for  to  convey  the  stricken  troublemaker  to 
the  hospital,  if  not  worse.  The  mistress  of  a  disorder¬ 
ly  house  located  nearby  put  in  appearance  to  make  ar¬ 
rangements  whereby  I  was  to  receive  a  division  on  a 
fifty-fifty  basis  on  all  income  she  gathered  off  custom¬ 
ers  I  had  directed  to  her  brothel.  A  dealer  in  castoff 
clothing  engaged  himself  to  pay  a  worthwhile  com¬ 
mission  on  all  business  he  derived  from  people  who  on 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


87 


finding  themselves  short  of  cash  were  willing  to  meet 
this  particular  secondhand  merchant  to  exchange  their 
wear  for  disreputable  rags  and  be  paid  a  cash  settle¬ 
ment  in  the  bargain.  Besides,  the  shopkeeper  volun¬ 
teered  to  purchase  at  highest  market  price  everything 
I  brought  to  his  store  left  behind  by  careless  visitors 
to  the  “Olympia”  or  patrons  of  the  latter  who  were  too 
intoxicated  to  properly  care  for  their  belongings. 

There  were  so  many  other  callers  offering  attractive 
remunerations  for  all  sorts  of  more  or  less  shady  fa¬ 
vors  that  I  promptly  concluded  to  have  landed  in  a  po¬ 
sition  exceedingly  bright  with  opportunities  for  quick 


wealth. 

This  being  the  day  of  my  official  tryout,  I  acted  with 
circumspection  in  the  matter  of  how  badly  I  mauled 
or  mangled  any  patron  I  was  commanded  to  subdue. 
Still,  as  this  happened  to  be  the  afternoon  of  a  Satur¬ 
day,  before  nightfall  my  earnings  in  “extras”  had 
mounted  to  twenty  dollars,  when  I  was  called  to  convey 
an  especially  boisterous  guest  of  the  “Olympia  to  a 
cell  at  police  headquarters,  where  he  was  to  be  held 
until  morning  to  be  prosecuted  in  the  city  court  on  a 


charge  of  breach  of  the  peace. 

When  I  carried  the  man  before  the  desk  sergeant  at 
the  police  station,  even  previous  to  this  officer  register¬ 
ing  his  name  and  offense,  I  was  directea  to  examine 
the  contents  of  the  apparel  of  my  prisoner.  This 
search  brought  to  light  a  dilapidated  corncob  pipe? 
some  messy  matches,  several  free  lunch  tickets  an 
other  such  v/orthless  articles.  On  having  assembled 
everything  taken  from  the  pockets  in  front  of  the  ser¬ 
geant,  I  reported  the  task  completed. 

It  was  then  that  I  received  a  reprimand  so  scathing, 

that  in  all  my  after-life  I  have  quite 

ly  overcome  the  effect.  For  while  I  faithfully  fulfilled 

the  instructions  of  my  employer,  at  the  same  time  in 


88 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


my  innocence  I  had  grievously  transgressed  against 
the  business  ethics  observed  by  the  police  of  San  Fran¬ 
cisco. 

For  the  moment,  the  officer-of-the-day  stared  at  me 
in  dumb  silence,  as  if  incapable  to  select  the  proper  ex¬ 
pressions  to  state  his  case.  His  ugly  countenance 
assumed  an  ever  more  florid  color  until,  finally,  he 
bawled  out  savagely :  “I’m  going  to  hand  you  some  val¬ 
uable  free  advice,  young  fellow!  Don’t  you  ever  dare 
to  bring  another  bum  to  headquarters!  Otherwise, 
you.  will  be,  out  of  a  job  mighty  quick!  We  have  no 
time  to  bother  with  the  like  of  him!  You  should  have 
taken  him  to  some  quiet  nook  in  a  park  or  on  a  wharf 
and  lambasted  him  soundly !  Now,  you  and  liim  make  • 
haste  to  decamp  from  this  office!” 

Crestfallen,  I  obeyed  the  invitation  extended  by  the 
police  officer.  When  I  had  liberated  the  offender,  I 
hurriedly  returned  to  the  “Olympia”  where  I  scarcely 
dared  to  look  into  one  of  the  many  large  plate  glass 
mirrors  let  in  the  walls  of  the  resort,  in  fear  that  I 
might  find  myself  decorated  with  a  set  of  donkey  ears, 
such  was  the  outrageous  chagrin  I  felt  by  the  reproof 
which  had  arrived  at  the  exact  minute  when  I  had 
fondly  believed  myself  capable  of  lording  it  over  every¬ 
body  within  reach. 

This  was  my  fourth  day  at  the  “Olympia.”  I  was 
engaged  in  the  dance  hall,  where  I  was  amicably  set¬ 
tling  a  difference  that  had  arisen  between  a  sailor  and 
a  barmaid,  whom  the  former  was  accusing  of  having 
lifted  his  purse.  Amid  copious  sobbing,  the  young 
harlot  declared  that  she  was  a  “real  lady”  and,  there¬ 
fore,  quite  beyond  suspicion  of  committing  such  a 
crinie.  As  it  was  my  duty  to  iron  out  all  troubles, 

I  pointed  the  mariner  to  a  poster  that  cautioned  visit¬ 
ors  of  the  fact  that  the  management  of  the  resort 
would  not  be  held  responsible  for  the  loss  of  valuables. 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  'i  89 

When  still  the  seafarer  refused  to  be  comforted,  in  all 
faith  I  suggested  that  he  accompany  me  to  the  nearest 
magistrate  to  swear  to  information  warranting  the 
arrest  of  the  woman  he  had  charged  with  the  theft. 
The  bluff  worked  to  perfection,  for  when  I  casually- 
like  mentioned  to  the  blue  jacket  that  if  his  accusation 
failed  to  hold  water,  most  likely  the  girl  would  turn 
about  and  have  him  held  for  the  courts,  charged  with 
criminal  libel,  the  fellow  sobered  in  a  jiffy,  and  soon  the 
principals  in  the  affair  had  made  their  peace. 

Then  it  was  that  I  heard  two  short  blasts  by  whistle. 
This  was  the  pre-arranged  signal  that  my  presence 
was  wanted  in  the  bar  room.  Rushing  there,  a  sight 
met  my  eyes.  One  of  the  barkeepers  had  been  laid 
out  on  the  floor,  unconscious.  Another  was  stowing 
a  current  of  blood  squirting  from  his  smaslied  nose. 
The  third  was  in  a  huddled  heap,  nursing  a  badly  bat¬ 
tered  jaw,  A  burly  chap  stood  his  field  in  the  center 
of  the  rum  shop,  where  he  viciously  swung  a  hedvy 
chair  about  his  head,  while  he  yelled,  that  unless  he 
was  handed  the  correct  change,  he  would  still  further 
“clean  up”  the  “Olympia.”  Evidently,  the  stranger  ob¬ 
jected  to  b^ng  “short  changed,”  a  common  practice  on 
the  Barbary  Coast,  where  in  breaking  a  large  coin  or 
greenback  a  goodly  sum  was  palmed  by  the  thieving 
gentry  who  considered  everybody  their  legitimate  prey. 

Under  my  contract,  I  was  expected  to  down  the  en¬ 
raged  husky,  who  in  his  intoxication  might  turn  out 
to  be  a  most  dangerous  adversary.  Tightly  clutching 
my  police  mace,  I  cautiously  approached  the  rov/dy 
and  executed  a  feint  in  line  with  his  ribs.  On  lower¬ 
ing  his  arms  to  protect  vitals,  I  allowed  the  heavy 
night  stick  to  drive  straight  to  the  point  of  his  chin. 
As  if  struck  by  lightning,  the  fellow  sank  to  the  floor. 
Before  he  had  regained  the  command  of  his  senses,  I 
had  him  securely  handcuffed.  When  a  search  of  his 


90 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


poclcets  revealed  a  sufficiency  of  wherewithal  to  permit 
the  trip  to  police  headquarters,  I  telephoned  for  the 
patrol  wagon. 

Arriving  at  the  police  station,  I  examined  the  be¬ 
longings  of  the  prisoner  even  before  the  haughty  desk 
sergeant  had  invited  this  inspection.  From  an  inside 
coat  pocket  I  drew  a  bank  deposit  book  which  showed 
that  the  bearer  carried  a  handsome  sum  in  a  local 
banking  institution.  A  solid  gold  watch  and  chain  was 
taken  off  his  vest.  I  removed  a  large  diamond  from 
his  necktie.  But  the  biggest  surprise  was  a  thick  and 
heavy  wallet  of  buckskin  that  must  have  contained  a 
most  likely  amount  of  money.  Even  before  I  had  an 
opportunity  to  ascertain  the  total  of  cash  in  the  wallet, 
the  latter  was  snatched  from  my  hands  by  the  ser¬ 
geant,  who  snarled  that  the  examination  of  purses 
was  an  exclusive  privilege  of  members  of  the  regular 
police  force.  While  he  attended  to  the  counting — and, 
doubtlessly,  heavy  discounting — of  the  wealth  con¬ 
tained  in  the  wallet,  I  was  directed  to.  lock  the  stranger 
in  a  noisome  cell.  On  returning  the  cage  key  to  the 
keeping  of  the  officer  of  the  day,  he  most  cordially 
patted  me  on  the  shoulder,  while  he  averred  that  I 
learned  enough  of  the  police  business  to  properly  un¬ 
derstand  how  this  was  transacted  only  on  a  ‘‘strictly 
commercial”  basis  in  San  Francisco. 

Even  while  the  police  officer  was  recording  his  re¬ 
mark,  I  felt  faint  at  heart  as  I  recalled  the  fate  of  so 
many  of  the  inmates  of  San  Quentin  who  were  lan¬ 
guishing  there  for  terms  up  to  a  complete  life  time, 
because  they  had  enacted  the  selfsame  performance 
which  I  had  just  fulfilled  on  the  express  orders  of  a  rep¬ 
resentative  of  the  same  police  authority  that  had  le¬ 
gally  apprehended,  convicted  and,  finally,  condemned 
so  many  of  the  other  lawbreakers  to  their  living  tomb. 

When  I  returned  to  my  station  at  the  “Olympia,”  I 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


91 


■^m  it- 


Now  Frenchy  was  a  good  fellow. 


92  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  ’i 

soon  discovered  that  everybody  tipped  his  hat  to  me, 
figuratively  speaking,  for' it  seemed  that  I  had  become 
a  popular  hero  in  a  jiffy,  and  this  all  the  more  marked¬ 
ly  in  the  esteem  of  the  barmaids  employed  in  the  dance 
hall,  who  behaved  on  edge  with  sheer  chagrin  when 
they  heard  of  the  riches  carried  by  my  prisoner.  The 
“girls”  lamented  their  misfortune  of  having  missed  go¬ 
ing  through  a  “good  thing”  and  promised  to  pay  an 
even  larger  percentage  on  their  pickings  off  persons  I 
played  into  their  hands,  than  was  subsequently  handed 
me  by  the  desk  sergeant  over  at  police  headquarters. 

Releasing  myself  from  the  circle  of  my  admirers,  I 
hurried  to  the  telephone  to -post  “my”  attorney  on  the 
plight  of  the  fellow  I  had  caged  at  the  police  depot. 
Sure  enough!  Several  days  later  the  lawyer  slipped 
me  twenty  dollars.  He  cautioned  me  that  on  future  noti¬ 
fications  of  like  character,  I  could  not  act  too  prompt¬ 
ly,  as  the  first  moments  spent  in  solitary  confinement 
by  a  man  of  means  were  the  most  productive  ones  to 
scare  the  imprisoned  person  as  then  the  mental  anguish 
occasioned  by  the  thought  of  the  unpleasant  conse¬ 
quences  of  his  arrest,  such  as  newspaper  notoriety,  etc., 
readily  placed  him  where  he  would  prove  exceedingly 
tractable  in  the  matter  of  separating  himself  from  a 
big  wad  of  money  on  the  plausible  assurance  that  the 
law  shark  “might”  obtain  his  prompt  release  from  the 
custody  of  the  police. 

I  have  never  been  able  to  ascertain  the  exact  amount 
of  cash  left  in  the  hands  of  the  hounds  of  the  police 
and  those  of  the  crooked  attorney  by  their  victim, 
though  judging  the  sum  by  the  hot  inconsiderable  fee 
I  received  of  the  sergeant  of  police  for  my  initiation 
of  the  unsavory  affair,  I  am  quite  satisfied  that  never 
again  will  the  sufferer  in  this  travesty  on  justice  dare 
to  raise  an  outcry  on  being  “short  changed”  in  graft- 
ridden  San  Francisco. 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  93 

When  I  had  accumulated  a  sufficiency  of  working 
capital  to  see  me  further  on  the  way,  I  resigned  from 
the  dangerous  job,  well  forewarned  by  the  fate  that 
overtook  my  predecessor  who  finally  succumbed  to  his 
injuries — mourned  only  by  his  widow  and  seven  minor 
children  whose  daily  bread  to  gain  he  had  valiently 
fought  the  thankless  battles  of  the  “Olympia.” 

Hoping  soon  to  have  another  interesting  letter  to 
mail  you,  I  am. 

Yours  truly, 

FRENCHY. 


94 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


THE  FIFTH  LETTER 


Glimpses  of  the  Abyss 


San  Diego,  CaL,  Jan.  25^  1920. 

Dear  Friend : — 

Here  I  am  with  the  letter  I  promised.  But  before 
proceeding  with  my  revelations,  I  desire  to  call  your 
attention  to  the  circumstance,  that  while  apparently 
the  general  trend  of  my  correspondence  might  be 
translated  by  biased  persons  as  opposed  to  the  exist¬ 
ing  order,  in  actuality  quite  the  contrary  is  the  case. 
And  this  despite  the  confession  that  throughout  all 
my  days  I  have  had  to  hear  anti-government  isms  ex¬ 
pounded  from  soap  boxes  and  other  stations  of  ready 
vantage  wherefrom  the  minds  of  the  lower  strata  of 
society  were  gradually,  though  nevertheless  surely 
contaminated  by  the  virulent  poison  which  converted 
so  many  formerly  rationally  thinking  toilers  into  rabid 
demonstrators  against  the  present  ways  of  society. 

Reverting  to  chronicling  of  personal  experiences — 
my  first  tramp-railroading  was  done  on  the  Gulf,  Col¬ 
orado  &  Santa  Fe  beyond  the  port  of  Galveston,  where 
I  had  deserted  my  ship  because  of  maltreatment.  On 
roaming  northward,  at  Brenham,  Texas,  I  accepted  a 
position  with  the  kitchen  department  of  a  railroad  con¬ 
struction  outfit.  In  this  capacity  I  quickly  mastered 
the  vocation  of  the  chef.  In  the  year  of  1880,  when 
the  Sunset  Route  was  being  built  Pacific-ward  beyond 
San  Antonio,  I  occupied  a  variety  of  jobs  with  this 
system.  I  was  a  flunkey,  at  times  a  teamster,  and 
when  my  funds  ran  low,  I  was  not  above  tackling 
the  rough  rut  of  the  digger  of  right-of-way  ditches. 


f 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  95 


Frenchy  as  waiter. 


96  Here  and  There  With  A-Nd.  i 

V 

Again,  I  worked  in  the  eating  houses  then  scattered 
only  as  far  as  El  Paso.  At  another  period,  I  acted  as 
a  newsboy  aboard  passenger  trains.  I  deemed  myself 
immensely  benefited  by  this  employment.  I  learned 
the  importance  of  pennies,  which  heretofore  I  had 
never  valued  properly.  I  received  a  practical  training 
in  the  fundamental  and  elemental  principles  of  busi¬ 
ness  in  a  way  that  this  science  might  never  be  ac¬ 
quired  more  interestingly  in  any  of  the  other  honor¬ 
able  pursuits  available  to  the  average  lad. 

During  this  term  of  gaining  a  clean  livelihood,  I,  who 
v/as  soon  to  turn  professional  deher  of  law  and  order, 
gained  no  end  of  opportunities  to  watch  other  folks 
stray  beyond  the  narrow  path.  I  am  quite  willing  to 
profess,  that  during  my  career  of  hobo,  I  took  many 
an  advantage  to  examine  the  contents  of  unguarded 
grips,  trunks  and  other  containers  of  the  traveling 
public.  Occasionally  only,  I  appropriated  some  neces¬ 
saries  for  which  I  had  an  immediate  use.  Otherwise 
I  never  touched  anything,  so  great  was  the  risk  I  ran 
to  be  caught  in  possession  of  such  property  by  minions 
of  the  law  who  were  everlastingly  subjecting  to  search 
and  cross-examination  strangers  vagabonding  on  high¬ 
ways  and  railroads.  Just  the  same,  the  mere  announce¬ 
ment  by  the  affected,  brought  the  daily  papers  to  carry 
a  long  list  of  articles  reported  as  missing  by  the  own¬ 
ers  of  the  satchels  and  the  like.  Women  proved  the 
worst  offenders.  When  I  had  made  off  with  some 
shoddy  woolen  garment,  they  callously  reported  the 
theft  of  a  sealskin  sacque  worth  into  the  hundreds  of 
dollars  for  which  they  demanded  restitution  by  the 
transportation  corporations. 

Here  I  have  another  illustration  of  a  sharp  practice 
now  placed  in  discard  by  the  efficient  work  of  the  rail¬ 
road  police  departments.  Returning  from  abroad  with 
wife  and  daughter,  I  stopped  at  a  Jersey  City  terminal 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


97. 

to  check  our  luggage  to  San  Francisco.  The  baggage 
master,  obviously  supposing  that  I  was  provided  with 
an  individual  ticket  only,  proposed  to  clear  “on  the 
quiet”  mjr  baggage  through  to  destination  without 
-complying  with  the  formality  of  paying  the  straight 
rate  for  the  excess  weight  the  station  scale  registered. 
For  this  accommodation  he  requested  a  settlement  of 
ten  dollars.  He  assured  me  that  his  left-handed  charge 
was  most  attractive  in  viev/  of  the  fact  that  the  regu¬ 
lar  expense  would  amount  to  that  given  sum  on  each 
hundred  of  the  four  hundred  pounds  he  believed  I  car¬ 
ried  ill  excess  weight.  Would  I  be  willing  to  enter  into 
this  scheme  that  would  phove  so  profitable  to  the  con¬ 
tents  of  my  purse?  The  fellow  almost  toppled  in  his 
tracks  with  sheer  amazement  when  I  produced  the 
other  two  tickets,  the  completernent  of  which  combined 
with  the  baggage  allowance  on  the  transportation  I 
held,  entitled  us  to  the  free  carriage  of  an  even  greater 
weight  of  baggage  than  w^e  journeyed  with  on  this  trip. 

Eeferring  to  an  inquiry  inserted  in  one  of  your  let¬ 
ters,  to  explain  what  it  was  that  had  driven  me  to  make 
common  cause  with  the 'Road,  where  nothing  but  un¬ 
limited  misery  was  to  be  gained,  will  say  that  the  bru¬ 
talities  I  encountered  during  my  seafaring  life  head¬ 
long  drove  me  into  the  arms  of  voluntary  vagrancy. 
In  the  days  antedating  the  advent  of  the  World  War, 
no  other  class  of  toilers  was  being  exploited,  and  with 
a  more  barbarous  inhumanity,  than  they  who  went  in 
ships  to  sea.  Among  all  other  experiences,  there  is 
this  telling  example — by  actual  accounting  I  received 
in  cash  in  hand  less  than  a  tenth  of  the  wage  promised 
me  by  my  captains. 

Have  I  ever  mentioned  how  I  landed  behind  prison 
bars  for  a  first  time  ?  I  was  oversea  in  the  eity  of  Ant¬ 
werp,  Belgium.  There  I  had  “signed  articles  -  with 
the  commander  of  a  f ull-rigged  sailing  ship  for  a  round- 


98  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

trip  covering  North  and  South  American  ports.  Even 
before  my  signature  had  dried,  the  captain  ordered 
my  detention  by  the  police  to  insure  my  presence  when 
his  vessel  set  sail.  I  was  kept  caged  with  the  riffraff 
of  Europe.  Three  weeks  went  by,  then,  manacled  like 
a  dangerous  criminal  or  maniac,  the  police  delivered 
me  at  the  shipside  at  the  exact  moment  of  the  heav¬ 
ing  of  the  anchors  preparatory  to  an  immediate  de¬ 
parture  from  the  port.  When  we  arrived  off  Monte¬ 
video,  Uruguay,  we  of  the  ship’s  company  were  fur¬ 
nished  with  spending  money  for  a  brief  holiday  ashore, 
and  when  casually  informed  that  I  had  earned  but  a 
fraction  of  the  wage  I  had  contracted  for,  I  was  sur¬ 
prised,  and  very  much  at  this,  to  hear  that  the  cap¬ 
tain  had  deducted  from  my  meagre  compensation  the 
fees  paid  by  him  to  the  Belgian  authorities  for  my  im¬ 
prisonment  in  their  “royal”  calaboose.  As  the  stern 
Law  of  the  Sea  compelled  strict  obedience  to  the  man¬ 
dates  of  the  master  of  the  ship,  who  had  as  his  con¬ 
cession  the  judgment  over  the  life  and  death  of  his 
subordinates,  I  meekly  maintained  the  peace  without 
voicing  an  open  protest,  though  on  reaching  the  port 
of  Galveston,  I  deserted  the  ship. 

Other  items  culled  from  my  personal  •  experience — 
it  was  in  the  day  of  Hiram  Johnson  as  governor  of  the 
state  of  California.  Hard  times  prevailed  on  the  Pa¬ 
cific  slope.  As  jobs  were  exceedingly  scarce,  several 
hundred  of  the  unemployed  citizens  undertook  to  camp 
on  some  vacant  lots  in  the  capital  city.  The  poor  fel-' 
lows  humbly  requested  that  the  state  authorities  sup¬ 
ply  tasks  so  they  might  earn  their  daily  bread  lawful¬ 
ly.  It  is  alleged  that  it  was  Governor  Johnson  who  or¬ 
dered  the  fire  department  to  play  streams  on  the  camp¬ 
ers  as  a  means  to  induce  them  to  leave  Sacramento. 

Some  ten  years  antedating  this  sousing  episode 
against  the  jobless.  Banker  Brown  deliberately  wrecked 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  99 

the  ‘‘California  Deposit  Company,”  defalcating  on  six 
millions  of  dollars  which  largely  represented  life-time 
savings  of  four  thousand  members  of  the  poorer  class¬ 
es.  Hiram  Johnson,  then  a  lawyer,  so  ably  “defended” 
the  prince  of  high  finance,  that  the  rascal  was  sen¬ 
tenced  to  the  ridiculous  term  of  sixteen  months  in  San 
Quentin.  This  penalty  was  by  two  months  less  than 
that  usually  drawn  by  a  John  Tramp  for  being  caught 
by  the  police  on  three  separate  occasions  while  in  the 
act  of  panhandling  provender.  Although  in  all  proba¬ 
bility  this  arch-thief  had  made  away  with  more  cold 
cash  than  had  been  stolen  by  several  generations  of 
criminals  caged  in  the  California  state  penitentiary. 
Brown  was  received  like  an  honored  guest  at  the  penal 
institution  and  forthwith  v\^as  installed  as  a  clerk  of 
the  prison  library,  where  he  was  largely  saved  from 
too  personal  contact  with  the  common  run  of  crooks 
undergoing  confinement. 

For  reasons  most  evident,  I  should  not  complain 
against  the  doings  of  fellow  law-breakers,  still  I  wish  to 
say,  that  I  was  among  the  thousands  of  sufferers  by 
the  dishonesty  of  Banker  Brown,  who  appropriated 
some  twenty-five  hundred  dollars  which  I  had  careless¬ 
ly  given  in  his  keeping  with  nothing  but  the  nnere 
bank  book  to  show  for  my  misplaced  trust.  In  the 
year  of  the  earthquake  and  conflagration,  1906, 1  drop¬ 
ped  another  five  thousand  dollars  in  a  most  peculiar 
sort  by  committing  the  blunder  of  carrying  a  policy 
for  the  fire  protection  of  my  home  with  an  insurance 
**^company  that  pointblank  refused  to  meet  its  just  ob¬ 
ligations  by  going  in  the  courts  and  pleading  bank¬ 
ruptcy.  Even  before  the  whirlwind  of  public  indigna¬ 
tion  had  died  away,  the  same  insurance  concern  had 
itself  declared  solvent  once  more  by  means  of  a  shady 
re-organization  scheme.  Even  to  this  day  the  concern 
is  writing  fire  insurance  on  tha  homes  of  other  dupes 


100  Hers  md  There  With  A-No.  i 

■ — Barnum  was  right,  fevery  minute  produces  its  easy- 
mark. 

Another  telltale  yam — down  in  Georgia,  C.  D.  But¬ 
ton,  a  renegade  Northerner,  had  himself  appointed  as 
the  lessee  of  state  convicts,  paying  one  dollar  per  diem 
for  their  use.  For  the  guidance  of  the  convicts  he 
coined  this  fateful  motto,  ‘'Work  like  a  dog  or  die  like 
a  dog.”  Should  any  person  have  dared  to  maltreat  his 
dog  or  other  dumb  brutes  with  a  fraction  only  of  the 
incredible  viciousness  that  this  “Yankee”  applied  on 
“his  niggers,”  be  they  either  black  or  white  skinned, 
the  offender  would  have  quickly  received  deserved  pun¬ 
ishment.  Among  the  thousands  of  victims  of  this 
fiend  incarnate  in  human  guise  fell  a  young  English¬ 
man  of  aristocratic  lineage.  This  Briton  had  the  mis¬ 
fortune  of  being  shipwrecked  off  the  coast  of  Georgia. 
Almost  stripped  of  apparel,  the  mariner  set  out  to 
reach  the  nearest  consul  or  other  representatives  of  the 
English  government,  and  while  on  this  errand  was 
picked  up  by  a  fee-hungry  deputy  sheriiT,  who  saw  the 
unfortunate  chap  sentenced  to  a  term  of  a  half  year 
with  Button.  The  food  provided  by  the  latter  was  so 
revoltingly  insufficient  and  coarse,  that  the  outlander 
caught  the  “Pellagra,”  an  incurable  skin  disease.  On 
serving  seven  months — the  surplus  month  was  in  pay¬ 
ment  for  a  pair  of  rough  boots  furnished  him  by  the 
convict  contractor— the  foreigner  was  released  from 
his  savage  slavery.  In  course  of  time,  the  self-same 
ex-prisoner  rose  to  a  position  of  high  eminence  in  the 
councils  of  the  British  empire.  In  the  meanwhile,  and 
throughout  his  days  of  exquisite  suffering  by  the  pesti¬ 
lence  he  had  contracted  in  the  Georgian  prison  camp, 
the  stricken  man  spent  a  fortune  consulting  with  spec¬ 
ialists  and  others  who  in  vain  attempted  to  relieve  him 
of  the  dread  afflictiom  Yours  truly, 

.  FRENCHY. 


Here  and  There  With  A-N@.  i 


101 


THE  SIXTH  LETTER 


Sideliglits  of  Life 


San  Diego,  Cal.,  Feb.  15,  1920. 

Dear  A-No.  1: — 

This  time  I  shall  relate  for  your  entertainment  the 
details  of  odd  encou.n.ters,  the  last  tv/o  of  which  again 
conclusively  prove  the  truth  that  lav/lessness  of  what¬ 
ever  character  is  a  poor  investment,  invariably. 

It  v/as  some  eighteen  years  ago,  that  I,-  then  on 
railroad  police  patrol  duty,  was  sent  to  Porta  Costa, 
California,  v/here  tramps  had  thrown  a  train  man  off 
the  cars,  inflicting  mortal  injuries.  My  orders  v/ere 
to  make  it  unpleasant  for  the  box  car  tourists  and  to 
keep  them  moving. 

As  all  trains  had  come  to  a  lengthy  halt  at  Porta 
Costa  to  await  their  turn  to  be  ferried  across  the 
Strait  of  Carquinez,  connecting  Pablo  Bay  with  the 
Bay  of  Suisim,  even  before  the  first  night  on  my 
guard  assignment  had  grown  old,  I  had  picked  up  so 
many  trespassers  off  the  cars  and  the  right  of  way 
of  the  Southern  Pacific,  that  the  town  calaboose  held 
its  capacity  of  prisoners.  Among  the  latter  was  a 
burly  Irish  lad  v/hom  I  had  registered  under  the  name 
of  “Casey.’’  Another  of  the  “boys”  was  an  intoxi¬ 
cated  pegleg  v/hom  I  had  arrested  on  the  pressing 
complaint  of  the  conductor  of  a  passenger  train,  that 
v/hile  the  cripple  was  panha.ndling  alms  in  the  coaches, 
he  had  insulted  every  passenger  who  dared  to  refuse 
his  demand  for  money.  My  troubles  began  in  all 
earnest  when  I  went  to  take  charge  of  the  pegleg,  for 
the  onery  cuss  straightaway  flbpped  himself  full 
length  into  the  aisle  of  a  eoach,  and  it  required  the 


102  Here  and  There  With  ’A-No.  'i 

assistance  of  passengers  to  bodily  carry  the  rascal  to 
the  town  calaboose,  located  but  a  step  beyond  the 
tracks.  I  promised  the  vagrant  to  see  that  he  was 
given  a  sentence  of  six  months,  at  the  least.  But  in 
the  morning  I  was  to  discover  that  I  had  made  this 
pledge  without  taking  into  consideration  the  manner 
of  magistrate  holding  office  at  Porta  Costa. 

Judge  Casey,  owner  of  a  combination  saloon-hotel, 
was  the  magistrate  of  the  village.  His  court  room  was 
located  in  a  room  beside  his  place  of  business.  At  the 
time,  the  squire  had  it  in  hot  and  heavy  for  the  South¬ 
ern  Pacific,  and  it  is  necessary  to  explain  matters  for 
the  better  comprehension  of  the  events  that  followed. 
But  recently  the  privilege  of  free  transportation  had 
been  nationally  withdrawn  from  the  favorites  of  the 
railroads.  This  was  a  rough  dose  for  those  ■who,  like 
Squire  Casey,  had  enjoyed  for  themselves  and  their 
families  the  rights  of  the  “complimentary  pass.”  Now 
forced  to  pay  for  transportation  as  all  unfavored  citi¬ 
zens,  after  all  these  years  of  scotfree  traveling,  there 
Vv^as  ample  cause  for  the  deep  grudge  Casey  was  said 
to  harbor  against  the  Southern  Pacific. 

Bright  and  early  on  the  following  morning  I  lined  up 
before  Judge  Casey  the  vagabonds  I  had  “jugged.” 
The  first  one  of  the  lot  he  ordered  arraigned  happened 
to  be  the  scrapper  of  a  pegleg.  Savagely,  almost,  turn¬ 
ing’  on  me,  the  squire  asked  how  I  dared  to  arrest  a 
poor,  “helpless”  cripple?  Even  before  I  had  recited 
the  particulars  of  the  battle  it  had  taken  to  cage  the 
troublesome  fellow,  the  magistrate  not  only  ordered 
his  discharge  from  custody  but  to  add  rancor  to  my 
disappointment,  he  slipped  his  hand  in  his  trousers’ 
pocket  and  handed  a  silver  dollar  to  the  man  I  had 
promised  six  months  of  hard  labor.  At  the  same  time 
Casey  sent  a  searing  glance  of  utmost  disapproval  in 
mj^  direction,  as  if  to  indicate  the  contempt  he  held  for 


103 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

a  man  in  the  uniform  of  the  railroad  police.  The  next 
prisoner  to  be  called  before  the  bar  of  justice  was  the 
burly  Irish  train  hopper.  When  the  magistrate  had 
taken  a  due  recognizance  that  the  accused  happened  to 
be  his  namesake,  the  squire  fiercely  bawled,  ‘"And  you,  a 
‘Casey’,  allowed  yourself  brought  here  'without  having 
given  a  good  account?”  Then,  and  with  not  so  much 
as  a  reprimand,  this  prisoner,  too,  v/as  allowed  to  go 
unpunished.  The  other  hoboes,  though,  did  not  fare 
quite  so  well,  as  each  was  handed  a  term  of  three  days 
to  be  served  in  the  county  jail  located  at  Martinez. 

On  reaching  the  county  seat  of  Contra  Costa  county 
with  the  batch  of  uncouth  prisoners,  I  was  met  by 
the  sheriff,  who  rudely  inquired  if  the  Southern  Pa- 
sific  thought  that  the  county  prison  was  kept  in  com¬ 
mission  as  a  special  boarding  house  for  bums  rounded 
up  by  the  private  police  of  the  railroad.  In  other 
ways,  he  tersely  indicated  that  neither  he  nor  other 
local  citizens  harbored  any  friendliness  for  my  em¬ 
ployers.  Here,  as  back  in  Porta  Costa  civic  differ¬ 
ences  underlay  my  tart  reception.  The  community 
of  Martinez  and  the  Southern  Pacific  were  at  sharp 
outs,  because  the  railroad  refused  to  halt  its  De  Luxe 
trains  at  the  sleepy  and  unimportant  inland  burg.  In 
prompt  retaliation,  the  elders  of  the  village  had  rushed 
through  council  an  ordinance  that  made  it  unlawful 
to  run  trains  within  the  town  limits  at  a  greater  rate 
of  speed  than  three  miles  per  hour — mere  turtle  racing. 
Many  of  the  train  engineers  either  forgot  or  contemp¬ 
tuously  ignored  the  annoying  regulation  and  being 
timed  by  spotters  in  the  employ  of  the  village  authori¬ 
ties,  were  hailed  into  court  and  heavily  fined.  As¬ 
suredly,  the  transportation  companies  had  other  ene¬ 
mies  besides  the  train-trespassing  tramp*,  I  should 
reckon ! 

Delivering  my  convoy  of  hoboes  into  the  care  of  the 

I 


104 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


sheriff,  I  returned  to  Porta  Costa,  where  a  message 
awaited  me  that  I  was  urgently  wanted  at  the  saloon 
owned  by  Squire  Casey.  V/itli  tears  welling  in  hi» 
eyes,  I  was  met  by  the  magistrate  at  the  entrance  of 
his  groggery,  who  humbly  pleaded  that  for  another 
time  I  should  take  a  personal  charge  of  the  same  pesky 
pegleg  v/horn  Casey  not  only  released  from  custody 
but  regaled  to  boot  with  the  gift  of  a  dollar.  During 
my  absence  and  that  of  the  local  deputy  sheriff,  who 
had  assisted  with  the  delivering  of  the  convicted  tres¬ 
passers  to  the  Martinez  lockup,  the  crippled  mendicant 
somehow  had  contrived  to  hatch  the  crack-brained 
notion  that  he  was  'properly  endov/ed  to  have  the  run 
of  Porta  Costa  to  suit  his  sweet  will.  Investing  in  strong 
dram  not  only  the  dollar  donated  by  the  squire  but  all 
the  alms  he  had  gathered  in  the  coaches  prior 
to  his  own  arrest,  the  abbreviated  slab  of  humanity 
had  defied  Casey  to  bounce  him  from  the  saloon. 
When,  fairly  howling  with  rage,  the  irate  squire  had 
undertaken  the  task,  he  not  only  was  given  a  sound 
thrashing  at  the  hands  of  the  ingrate  he  had  be¬ 
friended,  but  in  the  bargain  lost  tv/o  costly  platb  glass 
windows  from  the  front  of  his  rum  dispensary. 

That  Judge  Casey  should  prove  capable  of  having 
the  unexampled  nerve  to  request  that  I  restrain  the 
intoxicated  cripple  within  bounds  where  he  might  not 
further  harm  his  erstwhile  benefactor,  aroused  my 
resentment  to  the  highest  pitch.  Employing  rather 
unminced  language,  I  told  the  booze  seller  that  should 
the  frenzied  pegleg  finish  up  with  a  complete  wreck¬ 
ing  of  Porta  Costa,  I  would  not  lift  a  finger  to  stop  the 
rampage,  as  I  was  solely  in  the  service  of  the  South¬ 
ern  Pacific.  This  sharp  rebuke  caused  Casej/"  post¬ 
haste  to  telephone  to  Martinez  for  an  immediate  aid 
by  the  county  authorities.  While  all  Porta  Costa 
breathlessly  awaited  developments,  I  cautioned  the 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  105 

warlike  cripple  of  liis  peril  of  arrest.  Then  I  helped 
him  crawl  aboard  a  box  car  in  a  train  traveling  to  the 
,  Mole  of  Oakland,  where  he  might  obtain  a  better  show 
to  disappear  from  view  than  at  Porta  Costa  which 
was  completely  surrounded  by  high,  but  barren  hills. 

With  the  pegleg  removed  beyond  the  reach  of  all 
concerned,  I  almost  collapsed  by  la^ughing,  when  I 
overheard  how  thoroughly  the  sheriff  of  Contra  Costa 

4 

county,  who  with  his  cohorts  of  deputies,  all  armed  to 
the  teeth,  had  raced  by  motor  car  to  tovm  to  subdue 
the  ^‘murderous”  cripple,  read  a  stinging  riot  act  to 
Casey  for  having  led  the  officers  on  a  veritable  “wild 
goose  chase.’^  After  due  consideration  of  my  position 
at  Porta  Costa,  now  sure  to  be  made  even  more  un¬ 
comfortable,  I  wired  Chief  Kindelon  requesting  an¬ 
other  assignment,  and  suggested  that  he  forward  for 
my  relief  one  of  his  genuine  “O’Brien’s,”  so  as  to  be 
able  to  deal  with  Judge  Casey  who  in  all  probability 
might  prefer  an  officer  really  hailing  from  the  Emer¬ 
ald  Isle. 


OVER  in  Ogden,  in  the  state  of  Utah,  I  was  ar¬ 
rested  on  suspicion  and  was  sent  for  a  term  to 
the  local  chaiagang.  On  the  very  first  day  of 
toiling  solely  for  my  board,  I  staged  my  escape  from 
the  piulslic  worlis,  and  walked  to  the  nearest  water 
beypnd  the  city  lipnts,  where  in  due  time  I  eaught 
a  ride  ©a  a  coach  truck  beneath  a  fast,  westbound  ex¬ 
press.  While  this  train  was  I^eing  held  twenty  minutts 
for  lunch  to  the  passengers  at  Winnemucca,  I  strolled 
about  the  station  platform  to  stretch  my  cramped 
limbs  a  bit.  There  I  came  across  a  steamer  trunk 
standing  quite  unguarded.  Temporarily  assuming  the. 
voc&tioxi  of  a  busy  depot  porter,  I  imconc^rnedly  shoul- 


106  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

dered  the  piece  of  baggage  and  marched  to  the  nether 
side  of  the  train.  When  the  latter  departed  from 
Winnemucca,  I  had  straddled  a  brakebeam  and  had 
drawn  the  trunk  to  my  side  on  the  wobbly  seat.  When 
Reno,  another  Nevadan  town,  was  reached,  as  I  had 
completely  wearied  of  the  roughshod  hoboing,  I  de¬ 
cided  to  quit  the  cars  to  take  a  rest.  But  when  I  at¬ 
tempted'  to  drag  my  loot  from  its  berth,  the  steamer 
trunk  had  become  tightly  wedged  within  the  frame  of 
the  coach  truck  by  the  action  of  the  air-braking  ma¬ 
chinery  which  had  drawn  taut  the  brakebeam.  Then, 
quite  timely,  a  car  inspector  happened  along,  and 
kindly  lent  a  helping  hand  dislodging  the  steamer 
trunk  from  its  peculiar  pinch.  When  I  had  carried  the 
luggage  to  a  hobo  jungle  to  investigate  its  contents, 
the  latter  proved  to  be  a  complete  hunting  outfit  be¬ 
longing  to  some  Nimrod  of  unlimited  means,  judging 
by  my  general  improvement  in  appearance  on  having 
discarded  my  rags  of  the  Road  for  the  swell  toggery 
of  the  sportsman.  There  was  no  train  that  night,  and 
when  in  the  morning  I  chanced  to  scan  over  the  news 
printed  by  the  local  daily,  immense  was  my  satisfac¬ 
tion  to  read  how  the  car  inspector  had  duly  reported 
my  advent  in  Reno  and  had  made  it  a  point  to  mention 
that  of  the  thousands  of  hobo  tourists  he  had  seen 
riding  and  hiking  into  the  city,  I  was  the  initial  case 
where  one  of  the  men  of  Hoboland  had  arrived  in  town 
with  his  baggage  properly  checked  in  on  a  brakebeam 
ticket. 

Still  another  good  story  of  the  Wanderlife:  At  Ma¬ 
rysville,  Yuba  county,  California,  a  store  owner  had 
innocently  permitted  a  case  of  merchandise  to  stand 
unattended  in  the  night  in  front  of  his  mercantile 
establishment.  I  came  along,  just  having  vacated  an 
empty  box  car  in  a  freight  train  even  now  being  held 
in  the  railroad  yard  nearby.  Temptation  to  examine 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


107 


at  leisure  the  contents  of  the  packing  case  carelessly 
left  in  the  public  street  proved  so  overpowering,  that 
I  brought  the  box  to  the  empty  freight  car  and  while  the 
train  was  on  the  way,  I  ascertained  that  the  shipment 
consisted  of  a  couple  dozens  of  corduroy  trousers  of 
an  unusual  light-blue  hue.  At  Wheatland  the  train 
registered  a  first  halt  beyond  Marysville,  and  here  was 
the  center  of  a  hop-growing  section,  where  the  harvest 
was  at  its  height  in  the  hop  gardens.  As  hoboes  fur¬ 
nished  the  transient  labor  required,  and  then  v/orked 
sporadically  only  for  the  sake  of  remaining  in  a  state 
of  semi-intoxication,  I  calculated  correctly,  for  in  the 
morning  when  I  reached  the  camping  ground  of  the 
vagabonds,  there  quite  a  number  were  on  hand.  Al¬ 
though  a  majority  of  the  campers  carried  spending 
money,  I  was  unable  to  open  a  trade  with  my  loot  until 
I  offered  a  gratis  pair  of  corduroys  to  one  of  the 
tramps,  to  have  him  display  their  natty  appearance 
to  his  fellows.  The  scheme  worked  to  perfection — I 
soon  had  disposed  of  the  trousers  at  a  dollar  the  pair. 
Returning  to  the  railroad,  I  went  on  my  journey  to 
San  Francisco,  where  I  rented  lodging  quarters  at  a 
hobo  dump.  Here  I  came  in  possession  of  the  laugh¬ 
able  incidents  which  came  to  pass  subsequent  to  my 
departure  from  Wheatland. 

The  same  tramp  I  had  supplied  with  the  gratis  pair 
of  the  corduroy  strides  for  use  as  live  bait  wherewith 
to  rid  myself  of  the  other  trousers,  proud  of  his  likely 
possession,  had  lost  no  time  going  into  the  town  to 
see  what  dandy  figure  he  might  cut  with  the  lassies  of 
the  hop  burg.  In  the  meanwhile,  the  police  authori¬ 
ties  of  Marysville  had  wired  the  particulars  of  the 
theft  to  all  surrounding  communities  and  had  taken 
an  especial  care  to  report  their  outlandish  coloring. 
As  a  matter  of  course,  the  constable  stationed  at 
Wheatland  had  received  his  message  of  instructions, 


lOS  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  j 

and  as  a  likely  reward  was  offered  for  the  apprehen¬ 
sion  of  the  perpetrators  of  the  crime,  he  decided  to  b» 
on  a  sharp  lookout#  Sure  enough!  Before  very  long 
he  had  come  across  the  scamp  sunning  himself  in  front 
of  the  town  saloon.  Holding  the  stranger  to  account, 
th,0  man  willingly  explained  how  he  had  acquired  the 
trousers  and  where  the  others  might  be  located. 
Promptly  a  posse  was  formed,  and  guided  by  the  hobo", 
quickly  every  camper  rigged  up  in  a  pair  of  the  stolen 
strides  was  rounded  up.  Although  the  men  under 
arrest  proved  they  had  no  connection  whatever  with 
the  actual  commission  of  the  theft,  they  were  not  al¬ 
lowed  to  remain  unscathed,  because  employing  a 
method  generally  observed  by  hoboes,  the  tram.ps  had 
consigned  the  trousers  they  had  doffed  to  destruction 
in  the  campfire  of  their  hangout.  As  some  punish¬ 
ment  v/as  thought  to  be  in  proper  order,  the  Wheat- 
land  magistrate  sentenced  each  to  serve  a  term  of 
ten  aays  in  the  county  jail  at  Marysville. 

At  the  county  seat  was  played’ the  final  act  of  the 
affair,  when  the  insurance  company,  with  which  the 
merchant  had  carried  his  policy  protecting  him 
against  financial  loss  by  burglary,  Entered  with  the 
sheriiT  a  legal  claim  for  the  recovery  of  the  trousers 
adorning  the  persons  of  the  Wandering  Willies.  Al¬ 
though  the  hoboes  most  strenuously  objected  to  the 
queer  process  of  law  that  wanted  to  deprive  them  of 
the  vital  item  of  their  clothing,  all  their  wailing  and 
teeth  gnashing  turned  out  to  be  in  vain.  The  insurance 
adjuster  gained  possession  of  the  stolen  property.  As 
an  aftermath,  for  days  those  of  the  sufferers  who  were 
unable  to  promptly  panhandle  proper  covering,  for  ob¬ 
vious  cause  were  compelled  to  remain  hidden  in  the 

dark  recesses  of  the  basement  of  the  Yuba  county 
calaboose. 


109 


The  John  Laws  claimed  the  trousers. 


110 


Hers  and  There  With  A-N&.  i 

So-Ioiig  for  to-day,  A-No.  1,  and  please  note  the  les¬ 
son  to  be  learned  by  the  contents  of  this  letter,  “that 
everything  in  any  way  connected  with  dishonesty 
seems  to  be  thoroughly  permeated  with  misfortune.” 

Yours  truly,  ' 

FRENCHY. 


Here  and  There  With  A~No.  i 


111 


THE  SEVENTH  LETTER 


The  Chink  Runners  of  the  Border 


San  Diego,  Cal.,  March  10,  1920. 

Dear  A-No.  1: — 

Your  letter,  of  Feb.  27,  reached  my  address  at  this 
belated  date,  and  at  a  moment  when  I  happened  to  be 
in  the  correct  receptive  mood  to  continue  our  pen- 
chatting. 

i^.mong  the  companions  of  the  Road  Vv^ith  whom  I 
associated  after  our  leave-taking  in  Western  Florida 
was  the  “Johnny  Kid.’'  This  youth  had  deserted  his 
slavery  of  cabin  boy  aboard  a  Nova  Scotian  clipper. 
Copying  the  ways  of  the  hoboes,  he  had  drifted  inland 
until  he  accosted  me  in  the  thoroughfares  of  Denver 
for  the  loan  of  the  price  of  a  lunch.  Taking  the 
youngster  to  a  restaurant  to  have  him  provided  with 
his  needs,  the  lad  made  such  a  favorable  impiession, 
that  I  proposed  we  travel  as  hoboing  mates. 

On  our  route  to  Seattle,  we  fell  in  with  a  fellow  who 
told  us  of  the  simply  astonishing  earnings  to  be  gath¬ 
ered  by  men  acquainted  with  seafaring  who  might 
be  willing  to  risk  their  neck  and  liberty  while  engag¬ 
ing  in  the  smuggling  of  proscribed  Chinamen  and 
other  Orientals  from  British  Columbia,  in  the  Domin¬ 
ion  of  Canada,  by  way  of  the  waters  of  the  Puget  Sound 
across  the  American  border  into  the  state  pf  Wash¬ 
ington.  ..  -u. 

As  both  of  us  had  served  a  part-apprenticeship 

aboard  ship,  we  decided  to  change_  from  lawbreakmg 
by  land  to  that  by  water.  But  stripped  of  money,^  as 
we  were,  we  felt  it  impossible  to  obtain  a  ship  suiting 
our  purposes.  Then  we  chanced  to  remember  the 


112 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


worth  of  advertising  in  the  press.  Following  suit,  we 
inserted  a  catchily  worded  announcement  in  the  dailies 
of  Seattle  asking  for  a  small,  but  fast  ship.  When 
answers  were  received,  we  set  out  to  inspect  the  offer¬ 
ings.  We  visited  a  sloop  which  though  its  hull  leaked 
like  a  bullet-riddled  tub,  carried  a  fine  marine  engine. 
At  another  point  of  the  waterfront,  we  were  taken  to 
examine  a  boat  with  a  hull  in  fair  repair  but  supplied 
with  machinery  that  was  little  better  than  junk. 

After  nightfall  the  Johnny  Kid  and  I  unlashed  a 
dory  moored  to  a  buoy,  and  then  rowing  alongside  the 
leaky  sloop,  we  quickly  took  down  the  engine  and  on 
heaving  the  machinery  into  the  dory,  we  hurried  to 
the  craft  with  the  seaworthy  hull.  Working  with 
might  and  main,  we  soon  had  dumped  its  delapidated 
engine  overboard  and  then  installed  the  motor  we  had 
brought  along,  so  that  long  before  break  of  day  we 
had  sailed  away  to  British  Columbian  waters  where  we 
w^ere  safely  beyond  the  jurisdiction  of  the  American 
authorities. 

While  Johnny  Kid  repainted  and  otherwise  thor¬ 
oughly  disguised  the  identity  of  the  ship,  I  visited  the 
Chinatov/n  of  Vancouver,  where  I  entered  into  nego¬ 
tiations  with  the  headmen  of  the  various  Chinese 
tongs  who  promised  an  advance  payment  of  fifty  dol¬ 
lars  for  iJie  delivery  of  any  of  their  countrymen  to  a 
weli-cQEiceaied  point  on  the  far-flung  shore  of  the  Ba¬ 
sket  ^onnd  b^yonai  the  American  boundary* 

^  W®  prospered  e;xc;eeding]y,  but  we  jieve^  dared  t* 
more  than  four  Chinks  across  on  a  trip,  though 
our  sloop  had  ample  room  to  carry  six  of  the  treach¬ 
erous  Orientals.  I  should  mention,  that  v/e  encoun¬ 
tered  many  perilous  brushes  with  federal  agents  pa- 
troling  the  American  border  to  guard  against  smug¬ 
gling  of  debarred  aliens. 

Wh^  Johnny  Kid  had  saved  sixteen  hundred  dollars 


113 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

as  his  portion  of  the  fifty-fifty  division  of  earnings,  he 
came  across  an  ancient  map  of  Old  England,  the  coun¬ 
try  of  his  nativity.  His  close  study  of  the  dilapidated 
geography  brought  on  a  case  of  intense  homesickness 
for  his  folks.  Determined  to  visit  with  loved  ones, 
when  all  my  entreaties  to  have  him  change  this  project 
proved  futile,  I  bought  with  my  personal  savings  his 
transportation  by  first-class  passage  to  Europe,  and 
saw  him  off  on  his  trip.  Before  long  I  disposed  of  the 
sloop  for  a  tidy  sum  and  then  turned  my  attention  to 
search  for  a  less  dangerous  occupation. 

On  taking  a  review  of  my  smuggling  operations,  I 
congratulated  myself  on  having  fared  so  well  with 
the  venture  and  I  firmly  thought  that  nobody  of  the 
calling  could  have  bettered  on  my  financial  returns — 
until  I  was  to  become  thoroughly  disillusioned  on  this 
score  while  I  was  in  the  employment  of  the  police  de¬ 
partment  of  the  Southern  Pacific.  There  I  v^as  to 
frequently  hear  of  smuggling  undertakings  which 
brought  from  me  the  self-confession  that  in  all  reality 
1  had  been  a  rank  amateur  at  the  game.  For  instance, 
a  gang  of  liighest  officials  of  the  customs  service  were 
convicted  in  the  federal  courts  for  having  manufactur¬ 
ed  spurious  passports  by  the  wholesale.  These  forged 
instruments  were  shipped  across  the  Pacific  to  be  bar¬ 
tered  in  the  mkrket  places  of  Hongkopg,  Shanghai  aud 
even  Manilla  where  one  hundred  and  fifty  dollars  was 
paid  by  Asiatics  desiring  to  enter  the  United  States 
without  encountering  interfesecoe  on  part  of  officials 
hnplicated  in  the  fraud. 

While  telling  of  the  activities  of  the  *"Chink  Eun- 
ners,”  I  recalled  an  adventure  of  kindred  portent.  In 
1878,  while  I  was  stranded  in  a  sailor  dump  of  Livex*- 
pool,  a  friend  of  mine  offered  to  pay  ray  passage  back 
to  the  United  States  as  a  steerage  passenger  on  the 
“England”  of  the  National  Line.  The  ship  had  loaded 


114 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

soma  1200  steerage  passengers,  mostly  low-grade 
Scandinavians,  Hungarians  and  Pollacks.  Our  travel¬ 
ing  between  decks  was  like  that  of  sardines  packed 
into  a  tin  container.  The  “burgoo”  served  five  times 
daily,  smelled  so  that  one  could  scarcely  gulp  the  grub. 
To  cap  all  the  tribulations,  the  tub  of  a  steamer  con¬ 
sumed  a  solid  month  of  exceedingly  stormy  weather 
to  accomplish  the  traverse  of  the  Atlantic. 

Again,  it  was  in  1900  that  I  had.  another  occasion  to 
travel  oversea  from  Europe,  and  in  this  instance  I 
went  as  a  first  cabin  passenger  on  the  “Kroonland”  of 
the  Red  Star  Line.  There  was  classy  company  in  the 
cabins,  waited  on  by  gaudily  liveried  flunkeys  w^ho 
jumped  at  beck  and  call.  In  the  course  of  the  journey, 
I  became  an  appreciated  associate  of  people  of  or  con¬ 
nected  with  the  leading  families  of  both  the  American 
and  European  continents.  I  truly  envied  these  “gentle- 
bred”  persons,  as  I  innocently  supposed  they  had  never 
seared  the  purity  of  their  souls  with  the  indelible  crim¬ 
son  stain  of  crime.  I  carried  this  laudable  opinion  all 
the  way  across  the  Atlantic— until  the  good  ship  stood 
off  the  port  of  New  York.  Then  my  eyes  were  opened 
to  the  actual  state  of  affairs.  My  “strictly  pure  and 
stainless”  friends  began  to  scurry  about  like  hawk- 
frightened  hares  hunting  for  cover.  They  were  search¬ 
ing  to  find  hiding  places  for  valuables  they  desired  to 
slip  undeclared  through  the  customs  service  of  the 
United  States.  Having  gained  their  complete  confi¬ 
dence  during  the  trip  across,  not  a  few  of  the  criminal 
smugglers  came  to  me  for  advice  how  to  most  effect¬ 
ively  foil  a  possible  search  of  their  persons  apd  be¬ 
longings  by  the  federal  customs  employees. 

Verily,  personally  to  me,  the  ex-lawbreaker,  there 
stood  revealed  one  telling  difference  between  the  “chil¬ 
dren  of  the  steerage”  of  the  “England”  and  the  pam¬ 
pered  members  of  the  “exclusive”  set  with  whom  I 


Mere  and  There  With  A-No.  i  115 

had  associated  in  all  the  glitter  and  pomp  of  voyaging 
in  the  first  cabin  of  the  Red  Star  Liner,  in  that  the 
former  were  merely  ragged  without,  while  the  latter 
were  thoroughly  ragged  within. 

Again,  I  would  enjoyed  to  have  beheld  the  “holy  ter¬ 
ror’^  affected  by  .fellow  travelers  of  the  “Kroonland,” 
had  I  revealed  for  their  edification,  that  the  man  whom 
they  were  according  their  unabridged  confidence  had 
in  his  day  boosted  slant-eyed  Mongolians  over  the  Ca- 
nadian-American  border  of  the  coast  country  of  the 
Pacific-Northwest.  Certainly,  in  such  an  instance  the 
social-aristocrats  would  have  employed  better  discre¬ 
tion  than  they  assuredly  displayed  when  they  made  me 
their  confidant  in  the  matter  of  smuggling  inland  dia¬ 
monds,  laces  and  other  valuables  worth  into  the  thou¬ 
sands  of  dollars  in  each  individual  case. 

I  see  our  mail  carrier  at  the  street  corner  nearby, 
and  now  hurry  to  close  this  letter  to  have  it  on  its 
way  with  sincere  personal  regards  for  you  and  your 
family  by 

Yours  truly, 

FRENCHY. 


116 


Here  and  There  With  A-Na.  i 


THB  EIGHTH  LETTER 


Interesting  Mentions 


San  Diego,  Cal.,  March  24,  1920. 

Dear  A-No.  1 : — 

To-day  I  am  in  receipt  of  the  group-photograph  of 
your  family  circle.  Even  this  late,  I  am  noting  a  strong 
resemblance  between  you  of  over  thirty  years  ago  and 
your  features  of  this  date.  I  took  an  abounding  in¬ 
terest  in  the  neat  appearance  of  your  children — a  credit 
to  the  good  mother  of  the  boy  and  the  girl.  But  do 
not  take  offense  when  I  friendly  and  yet  in  all  serious¬ 
ness  suggest — let  this  be  enough  offspring.  Children 
are  a  most  expensive  luxury  nowadays.  To  raise,  pro¬ 
vide  for  and  educate  them  properly  so  they  may  obtain 
a  fair  chance  in  life,  means  not  only  a  vast  expenditure 
of  money  but  even  more  of  patience  connected  with  no 
end  of  v/orry.  There  are  so  many,  many  youngsters 
growing  up  that  will  prove  themselves  walking  disap¬ 
pointments  to  their  loved  ones — just  you  remember 
our  own  instances  as  you  and  I  failed  by  a  long  shot 
to  approach  the  hopes  of  our  parents. 

Personally,  I  am  quite  contented  to  bring  up  one 
child,  my  daughter.  She  shall  enjoy  the  best  of 
schooling  and,  if  so  inclined,  we  will  see  her  graduated 
from  a  college  and,  probably,  from  a  university.  Be¬ 
sides,  we  have  given  her  seven  years  of  piano  lessons. 

The  gods  did  not  thus  pamper  her  parents — not  by 
any  means !  And  just  you  listen  to  have  the  whole  truth 
of  our  beginning  of  existence.  I,  her  doting  father,  at 
twelve  was  a  cabin  boy  aboard  a  sailing  ship.  Her 
mother  was  slaving  at  thirteen  In  a  French  sweat  shop, 
earning  not  over  ten  cents  daily  at  fifteen  hours  per 


Nere  md  There  With  A-No.  i  117 

diem  regularly,  and  with  Sundays  and  holidays  includ¬ 
ed  for  good  measure,  v/hile  largely  subsisting  on  the 
famed  French  national  dish,  “bouillon,''  a  broth  con¬ 
cocted  of  some  three  quarts  of  water  flavored  with  a 
couple  of  onions,  as  meat  could  not  be  afforded  at  the 
starvation  wage  she  earned.  I  might  properly  men¬ 
tion,  that  whatever  charity  I  am  able  to  dispense,  is 
mailed  across  the  sea  to  France,  where  so  many  of  our 
relatives  were  recently  only  delivered  from  the  yoke  of 
Germans  who  on  a  fair  average  crippled  or  murdered 
about  three  of  every  four  adult  males  of  the  French 
republic. 

Regarding  the  untimely  taking-off  of  the  late  Chief 
of  Police  Kindelon  of  the  railroad  police  of  the  South¬ 
ern  Pacific,  whose  corpse  was  discovered  still  in  death 
in  a  park  of  San  Francisco.  I  was  strangely  affected 
by  the  announcement  of  the  demise  of  my  erstwhile 
superior  officer,  and  I  immediately  recalled  the  fate 
that  overtook  another  police  official— that  of  Chief 
Biggy  of  the  San  Francisco  police  force.  This  efficient 
officer  strived  to  reform  the  metropolitan  police  de¬ 
partment,  then  thoroughly  demoralized  by  graft  so 
vicious  that  it  transgressed  beyond  the  bounds  of  or¬ 
dinary  decency.  One  fine  morning,  he  was  fished  stark 
dead  from  the  waters  of  the  Bay  of  San  Francisco. 
How  he  had  come  to  such  a  finish  still  remains  one  of 
the  unsolved  riddles  of  the  city.  There  were  two 
theories  advanced,  though.  Either  the  police  chief, 
who  in  the  prime  of  life  and  at  the  zenith  of  his  chosen 
career,  had  deliberately  jumped  to  his  death  or  an 
enemy  had  inveigled  him  to  the  edge  of  a  wharf  and 
then  had  treacherously  pushed  him  overboard.  Any¬ 
how,  it  is  worth  observing,  that  none  of  the  police  de¬ 
tectives  assigned  to  fathom  the  mysterious  demise  of 
their  late  chief,  wasted  time  to  get  at  the  bottom  of 
the  tragedy,  that  by  official  inactivity  was  allowed  to 


118  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

promptly  become  forgotten.  Truly,  the  road  of  the 
reformer  of  any  police  department  is  a  dangerous  one 
to  travel,  and  was  this  most  especially  the  case,  when 
the  man  desired  to  benefit  the  general  public. 

Among  highly  cherished  mementoes  of  my  days  in 
the  employ  of  the  police  bureau  of  the  Southern  Pa¬ 
cific,  I  hold  a  final  recommendation  countersigned  by 
Chief  Kindelon,  and  which  document  was  furnished  at 
the.  time  of  my  “honorable”  discharge  from  the  ser¬ 
vice  of  the  railroad.  In  this  letter  Kindelon  frankly 
stated  that  among  other  assignments,  fulfilled  to 
the  entire  satisfaction  of  my  superiors,  I  had  been  sta¬ 
tioned  for  two  years  at  railroad  police  headquarters  in 
San  Francisco. 

Actually,  I  believe  I  bested  Kindelon  at  his  own  po¬ 
lice  game!  I  virtually  “broke”  into  his  private  office 
to  learn  by  direct  observation  and,  largely,  under  his 
personal  tutelage,  everything  worth  while  of  the  meth¬ 
ods  he  enacted  to  put  an  end  to  depredations  against 
the  property  of  his  employers.  I  claim  the  distinction 
as  an  offset  against  the  practice  by  Kindelon  to  visit, 
disguised  as  a  tramp,  the  hobo  camps  to  glean  news 
covering  thefts  and  other  crimes  already  committed 
or  merely  contemplated  against  the  Southern  Pacific. 

While  speaking  of  corrupt  police  schemes — it  was  in 
1882  that  I,  then  working  as  a  deputy  sheriff  of  Co¬ 
chise  county,  Arizona,  with  ofiice  at  Tombstone,  car¬ 
ried  standing  instructions  whenever  an  election  was 
held,  to  herd  in  all  Mexicans  I  might  lay  my  hands  on. 
The  illiterate  foreigners  were  plied  with  rum  pur¬ 
chased  at  the  expense  of  the  candidates  in  favor  with 
the  high  sheriff  of  Cochise  county.  When  the  Mexi¬ 
cans  had  arriyed  at  the  proper  stage  of  befuddledness, 
where  they  declared  themselves  to  be  “American”  cit¬ 
izens  properly  enfranchised,  then  only  we  permitted 
them  to  cast  their  vote — in  favor  of  our  candidate. 


Tlie  Mexicans  always  voted  for  our  man, 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


120 


Tliose  were  the  days  when  millionaire  mine  owners 
and  Others  commanding  ample  funds,  commonly  pur¬ 
chased  for  spot  cash  any  office  within  the  gift  of 
“TIIE”  people. 


Aga:»n  thanking  you  for  the  photo  received  to-day, 
I  am 


Your  good  friend, 


FRENCHY. 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 


121 


TME  LATEST  LETTER 


From  Oversea 


Paris,  France,  June  24,  1920. 

Dear  Friend: — 

I  win  thoroughly  realize  the  state  of  your  astonish¬ 
ment  on  beholding  the  French  postage  stamps  alRxed 
to  the  iront  of  tiiis  letter,  announcing  my  presence  in 
France.  On  the  spur  of  the  moment,  and  also  in  re¬ 
sponse  to  the  pitiful  appeals  for  prompt  succor  by  my 
v/ar-stricken  relatives,  I  decided  to  personally  attend 
to  their  relief  and,  at  the  same  time,  view  the  almost 
indescribable  ravages  which  the  war  had  wrought  in 
the  northern,  the  industrial  section  of  the  h'rench  re¬ 
public  by  the  repeated  sweep,  back  and  forth,  of  the 
armies  of  both  friend  and  foe. 

On  my  overland  trip  I  passed  through  your  city  of 
Erie.  I  would  have  liked  to  have  paid  my  respects  to 
you  and  yours,  had  not  the  sailing  date  of  my  steamer 
been  so  near  at  hand  that  a  stopover  was  impracticable 
just  at  this  time.  Unless  an  unkind  fate  intervenes, 
I  promise,  though,  to  break  my  rail  journey  op  my 
return  voyage  from  Europe. 

Here  then,  I  am  in  France,  the  land  of  my  birth. 
Forsooth,  though  I  am  of  French  nativity,  still  I  am 
a  true  American  citizen,  having  seen  to  my  naturali¬ 
zation  on  the  day  I  arrived  at  man’s  estate.  I  am  plac¬ 
ing  a  heavy  emphasis  on  the  proud  fact  of  my  Amer¬ 
ican  citizenship  for  the  better  understanding  of  any¬ 
thing  I  might  mention  in  connection  with  the  ways  of 
the  French. 

My  first  errand  on  stepping  ashore,  was  to  carry  aid 


122  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

to  members  of  my  family,  who  were  thoroughly  pau¬ 
perized  through  no  fault  of  their  own.  In  this  task 
I  was  immensely  favored  by  the  adverse  exchange 
rated  against  the  French  franc,  no  less  than  twenty- 
eight  of  which  were  required  to  release  a  single  dol¬ 
lar  of  our  American  coinage,  where  in  pre-war  days 
the  standard  charge  stood  at  the  ratio  of  five  francs 
only  to  the  dollar. 

On  having  satisfied  the  pressing  needs  of  my  peo¬ 
ple,  I  went  traveling  to  vievi^  the  recent  battle  front  ex¬ 
tending  from  Belgium  to  below  Belfort,  a  French  fort¬ 
ress  adjacent  to  the  Swiss  border  line.  I  inspected  the 
prodigious  trench  works  where  the  German  invaders 
were  held  in  check  by  the  war- wearied  allies  until  our 
American  boys  helped  to  win  victory  on  victory  and 
the  armistice  was  signed  which  forever  blasted  the 
ambition  of”  the  Hohenzollerns  to  rule  the  universe 
from  Berlin. 

While  sightseeing  in  Europe,  I  noted  how  the  popu¬ 
lace  woefully  lacked  even  the  more  ordinary  home  com¬ 
forts  deemed  indispensible  by  American  and  Canadian 
housewives.  The  bath  room,  as  we  enjoy  this  neces¬ 
sity,  was  little  favored,  as  even  in  the  residences  of  the 
well-to-do  the  common  wooden  laundry  tub  was  re¬ 
sorted  to  to  furnish  the  wherewithal  for  the  week-end 
ablution  of  the  membership  of  the  European  family. 
Laundry  chutes  and  stationary  trays,  our  standard 
kitchen  range,  the  electric  sweeper,  motor-driven 
washing,  and  ironing  appliances,  the  warming  of  the 
house  from  a  centrally  located  heating  plant,  and  a 
thousand  and  one  other  transatlantic  household  facil¬ 
ities  were  conspicuous  by  their  absence.  Among  the 
other  oddities  I  encountered  while  visiting  on  the  bat¬ 
tle  line — at  Nancy,  France,  we  stopped  overnight  at 
an  ancient  castle  which  had  been  converted  into  a 
hotel.  In  this  structure  there  were  no  less  than  an 


.  Here  and  There  With  A-No,  i  123 

even  hundred  fire  places — one  for  each  guest  room — 
but  nary  a  sign  of  a  common  bath  tub. 

On  the  other  hand,  we  self-complacent  Americans 
might  learn  a  valuable  lesson  from  our  French  cous¬ 
ins  residing  in  Alsace-Lorraine,  the  “lost  provinces’" 
but  recently  restored  to  France.  When  the  Germans 
had  vanquished  the  French  in  the  war  of  conquest  of 
1870-71,  on  finding  the  surrendered  country  inhabited 
by  an  utmost  French-patriotic  population  that  would 
never  voluntarily  permit  a  change  in  their  nationality 
enforced  by  the  hated  conquerors,  the  latter  attempted 
a  peaceful  assimilation  of  the  natives  by  resorting 
to  a  colonization  of  the  countries  with  settlers  of  Teu¬ 
tonic  origin.  We  Americans,  to  judge  this  from  recent 
events  with  obnoxious  foreigners,  would  likely  have 
taken  to  the  proverbial  fire  and  sword  to  rid  ourselves 
of  the  undesirables  whose  home  governments,  so  it 
certainly  seemed,  were  only  waiting  to  take  exception 
to  our  rash  tactics,  which  might  have  involved  us  in 
war  or  other  costly  vengeances. 

The  weapon  of  effective  defense  used  by  the  French 
was  the  “silent  boycott.”  As  a  preliminary  step  of 
staging  this  enterprise,  every  adult  Frenchman  was 
induced  to  affiliate  with  an  anti-Germanic  association, 
the  members  of  which  were  pledged  not  to  carry  on 
menial,  social,  commercial  or  any  other  intercourse 
v/hatever  with  either  the  colonists  or  any  of  the  offic¬ 
ials  in  the  pay  of  the  German  empire.  Any  French¬ 
man,  however  wealthy  or  influential,  caught  trans¬ 
gressing  against  this  secret  covenant,  was  called  to 
strict  account  before  a  tribunal  of  his  fellow  conspir¬ 
ators  and  punished  so  severely  that  he  was  not  likely 
ever  to  forget  the  lesson  of  applied  patriotism. 

By  this  means  the  alien  settlers  and  merchants 
foisted  on  Alsace-Lorraine  were  quickly,  and  yet  safe- 


12^  Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

ly,  carried  to  the  conviction  that  naught  but  starvation 
threatened  them  and  theirs  and,  proving  even  more 
annoying,  felt  themselves  subjected  to  a  relentless 
ostracism  which,  and  this  in  no  time,  brought  the  in¬ 
truders  to  whine  to  their  government  for  return-trans¬ 
portation  to  the  fatherland. 

While  traveling  in  France,  I  became  painfully  aware 
that  the  French  bankers,  with  whom  I  came  in  con¬ 
tact,  behaved  most  outrageously  suspicious  towards 
all  American  tourists.  Before  long,  I  heard  of  the 
cause  underlying  this  radical  unfriendliness.  A  low¬ 
lived  son  of  America  but  recently  had  landed  at  Bor¬ 
deaux  with  several  thousand  notes  of  the  currency  is¬ 
sued  by  the  erstwhile  Confederate  States  that  so  very 
closely  resembled  the  standard  greenbacks  of  similar 
denominations  distributed  by  the  United  States.  The 
slippery  swindler  shrewdly  took  every  advantage  of 
the  fact  that  his  was  the  day  of  wildest  French  enthu¬ 
siasm  at  the  victorious  termination  of  the  war,  when 
in  their  hurricane  of  heartfelt  thankfulness  the  bank¬ 
ers  of  the  French  republic  had  cast  aside  their  every¬ 
day  prudence  and  so  fell  an  easy  prey  to  the  enterpris¬ 
ing  criminal.  The  rascal  contrived  to  convert  his 
worthless  notes  into  some  millions  of  good,  though 
temporarily  depreciated  French  francs.  Just  prior  to 
his  hornet-mad  dupes  unearthing  his  villainy,  he  de¬ 
parted  for  parts  unknown.  Quite  naturally,  though, 
from  this  source  sprang  the  chary  and  most  uncordial 
reception  accorded  American  travelers. 

While  touring  in  that  district  of  the  kingdom  of 
Belgium  located  in  the  environs  of  war-scarred  Ypres, 
I  improved  the  occasion  by  visiting  at  nearby  Merx- 
plas.  Here  the  Royal  Belgian  Commission  for  the 
Suppression  of  Vagabondage  had  established  a  penal 
colony  for  the  punishment  and  reform  of  tramps.  Th® 
sentence  imposed  by  the  courts  against  such  characters 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  125 

invariably  called  for  an  indefinite  term  of  detention  at 
hard  labor,  the  discharge  from  custody  altogether  de¬ 
pending  on  the  willingness  of  the  imprisoned  to  prove 
their  effective  cure. 

Quite  unsuspecting  that  he  was  volunteering  to  act 
as  a  guide  for  an  American  who  had  been  a  professed 
hobo  in  his  day,  the  superintendent  of  the  “royal” 
hobo  colony  afforded  every  opportunity  to  inspect  the 
reformatory  and  study  the  inmates  at  first-hand.  The 
Belgian  brand  of  mendicant  in  no  respect  had  attained 
the  standard  developed  by  his  counterpart  beyond  the 
sea.  The  Belgians  were  of  shambling  gait  and  dis¬ 
played  in  their  brutish  countenance  every  indication 
of  a  degenerate  intelligence  not  far  above  par  of  that 
of  a  dumb  brute.  The  convicts,  though,  seemed  to  be 
well  treated  and  acted  as  though  thoroughly  satisfied 
to  undergo  a  penalty  that  deprived  them  of  their  lib¬ 
erty. 

As  I  traveled  on  the  highway  beyond  Merxplas,  I  in¬ 
terviewed  agriculturists  I  encountered  while  they 
tended  the  acres  adjacent  to  the  road.  Alike,  the  farm¬ 
ers  quaintly  expressed  their  innermost  contempt  for 
the  penal  institution  placed  in  their  midst,  when  they 
passed  an  identical  judgment,  as  follows:  “Je  ne  puis 
pas  comprendre  pourquoi  ces  vagabondes  vivant  du 
gras  de  la  terre  et  nous  et  families  ne  pouvons  pas  rien 
de  seur  de  notre  travail.”  (Translated:  *T  fail  to  un¬ 
derstand  why  these  tramps  should  be  fed  on  the  fat 
of  the  land  while  we  and  our  families  are  scarcely  able 
to  gain  a  living  by  the  sweat  of  our  brow.”) 

Traveling  along  the  trench  line  towards  the  French- 
Swiss  frontier,  on  arriving  off  Switzerland,  I  journeyed 
to  Witzwyl,  where  the  Helvetian  republic  had  opened 
%  tramp  colon37’  which  was  closely  patterned  on  the 
Belgian  example  I  had  studied  at  Mej^xplas.  As  in 
Belgium,  so  here  at  Witzwyl  the  imprisoned  bummers 


126 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i 

not  only  were  employed  under  the  guidance  of  experts 
on  growing  of  vegetables  and  other  green  stuffs  for 
sale  on  the  public  markets  in  ruinous  competition  with 
the  native  farming  population  but  here,  too,  the  ho¬ 
boes  were  rented  out  at  a  most  ridiculously  small  daily 
compensation  to  agriculturists  in  need  of  “cheap’’ 
labor. 

As  a  matter  of  record,  the  well  fed  and  paid  officials 
placed  in  charge  of  either  the  Swiss  or  the  Belgian 
project,  loudly  proclaimed  the  immense  success  of  the 
penal  venture.  In  this  the  officers  acted  quite  un¬ 
mindful  of  the  circumstance  that  the  hobo  colonies 
were  bringing  utmost  demoralization  to  the  country¬ 
side.  The  citizens  most  harmed  by  the  short-sighted 
policy  of  their  governments  were  everlastingly  pray¬ 
ing  for  relief  and  the  quick  return  of  the  day  when  it 
could  be  better  afforded  to  feed  an  occasional  beggar 
at  the  gate  from  the  fullness  of  the  family  board,  where 
now  the  identical  unwholesome  outcast  was  converted, 
and  this  with  a  vengeance,  into  a  national  pet  and  ward 
who  virtually  and  virulently  competed  with  the  com¬ 
mon  people  for  the  dally  bread. 

Another  observation:  Coming  a  close  second  in  the 
matter  of  direct  destructiveness  of  human  life  through 
the  havoc  wrought  by  the  continual  warfaring  that 
seems  to  have  become  a  veritable  obsession  of  the  ever- 
quarreling  nations  of  that  continent.  Demon  Rum  still 
holds  his  stranglehold  on  Europe.  Men,  women  and 
even  minor  children  are  daily  guzzling  strong  dram 
by  the  liter  measure  in  public  places,  as  v/ell  as  in  the 
privacy  of  their  home.  Everybody  seems  to  be  af¬ 
flicted  with  this  national  curse — ^from  the  kings  down 
to  the  lowest  of  the  low-all  are  squandering  every 
available  penny  on  alcoholic  poisons. 

Truly,  Europe  offers  a  fertile  field  for  the  activi¬ 
ties  of  persons  endowed  with  the  courageous  cast  re- 


Here  and  There  With  A-No.  i  127 

quired  to  combat  King  Alcohol  in  his  almost  impreg¬ 
nable  outhold  where,  at  that,  he  is  wreaking  his  great¬ 
est  wrong  on  suffering  humanity.  Hard  drinkers  are 
afflicted  with  overheated  blood,  overwrought  nerves 
and  twisted  mentality,  and  especially  when  com¬ 
plete  nations  are  involved,  as  this  is  the  case  with 
the  French  and  the  German,  they  make  exceedingly 
irritable,  if  not  entirely  irrational  neighbors.  I  firmly 
believe  that  with  the  total  eradication  of  the  booze  evil, 
the  Europeans  will  bid  farewell  forever  to  their  favor¬ 
ite  pastime,  which  since  time  immemorial  they  rated 
as  the  most  honored  of  all  honorable  pursuits — that  of 
murdering  human  beings  by  the  wholesale  under  the 
plausible  pretext  of  righteously  waging  war,  when  in 
sheer  reality  they  were  merely  attempting  to  satisfy 
an  insane  and  almost  insatiable  lust  for  killing  and 
maiming  brought  on  by  a  criminal  overindulgence  of 
intoxicants  continued  through  ages  on  ages.  Verily, 
there  is  a  just  logic  to  my  assertion,  that  with  the 
withholding  of  grog  in  every  form  from  the  alcohol- 
parched  throats  of  the  Europeans,  these  will  observe 
the  peace,  and,  consequently,  universal  goodwill  will 
be  born  to  bless  the  world  forever  and  ever. 

A.s  the  French  republic,  here,  offers  a  most  limited 
field  only  for  extended  sightseeing,  measuring  Europe¬ 
an  distances  by  prodigious  American  dimensions,  when 
these  lines  reach  your  hands,  I  shall  have  taken 
steamer  at  the  Mediterranean  port  of  Marseilles  •  for 
New  York,  where  I  shall  select  an  overland  railroad 
route  that  will  permit  my  stopping  over  at  Erie. 

Until  the  day  of  our  impending  reunion,  I  remain, 

Your  good  friend. 


FRENCHY. 


128 


Here  and  There  V/ith  A~No.  i 

Instead  of  the  expected  visitor  in  person,  there  ar¬ 
rived  a  train  message  the  contents  of  which  are  given 
herewith : 

Western  Union  Telegram 

Buffalo,  N.  Y.,  July  9,  1920-5:41  a.  m. 

Aboard  of  Pacific  Limited, 

N.  Y.  C.  R,  R.  , 

Impossible  to  break  trip  because  of  close  steamship 
sailing  at  Seattle  for  Fairbanks,  Alaska,  to  look  after 
important  mining  concession.  Will  meet  you  another 
date. 

Signed:  Raoul  Voleur. 


Only  a  few  days  after  the  receipt  of  the  train  tele¬ 
gram,  the  mail  brought  a  picture  postal  card  cairying 
a  brief  annotation  announcing  the  embarkation  of 
Frenchy  on  his  Alaskan  errand. 

At  this  date — May  24,  1921 — no  further  written  line 
or  any  other  sign  of  life  has  reached  my  address. 
Therefore,  and  in  all  probability,  an  unkind  fate  had 
placed  a  final  “FINIS”  to  the  strange  career  of  the 
venturesome  French-American  w^ho  broke  faith  with 
the  Fioad  and  Crime  when  he  had  learned  to  a  suf¬ 
ficiency  what  sort  of  thankless  existence  was  his  who 
disobeyed  the  mandates  of  Lav/  and  Order. 


WRITTEN 

BY 


THE  PI 

LIFE  AND  ADVE 

THE  SE( 
HOBO-CAW 


RARE  BOOK 
COLLECTION 


THE  LIBRARY  OF  THE 
UNIVERSITY  OF 
NORTH  CAROLINA 
AT 


THE  TI 
THE  CURSE 


THE  POT 

THE  TRAIL 


CHAPEL  HILL 

Green 

211 


THE  i 

THE  ADVENTURES 


THE  £ 
THE  WAYS 


THE  seventh,  book - 

THE  SNARE  OF  THE  ROAD 


THE  EIGHTH  BOOK 

FROM  COAST  TO  COAST  WITH  JACK  LONDON 


THE  NINTH  BOOK 

THE  MOTHER  OF  THE  HOBOES 


THE  TENTH  BOOK 

THE  WIFE  I  WON 


THE  ELEVENTH  BOOK 

traveling  WITH  TRAMPS 


THE  TWELFTH  BOOK 

HERE  AND  THERE  WITH  A-No.  1 


The  Author  has  carefully  avoided  the  least  mention  of  any¬ 
thing  that  would  be  unfit  reading  for  ladies  or  children. 

A  complete  set  of  these  moral  and  entertaining  books 
should  be  in  every  home. 


